It's empty on the other side
There was you
then there was nothing..

Fictional nostalgia
Hearts that beat slower

Calm the swelling tide
I still look at you
Like you're everything

This is one for the one I haven't met
It will all click and fall into place
Forces will mold
Broken pieces will be rebuilt
Eyes will see
Hearts will feel
And mouths will speak
Of all the joys to behold
When lips will touch
Hearts will beat
Eyes will shut
Broken spirits will be scattered
As the forces mold
You and I into stars of space
Like them, it takes a few light years
To see our magic

Mental tirades play out
Behind dilated pupils
And blank expressions..
I say hello and how's the latest you been up to?
But I'm pounding my fists on your chest
wondering If it'll ever be less true..
That you don't think I'm worth a second
Fine, I think I finally get it
this turmoil is nothing more than a stipend I'm owed
I always decide ; I'm over it
Then you walk in the door.

Lately it seems to me
The world is moving in black and white
I've only seen you one way
And everyone is beautiful in half light
It's clear as can be
I'm alone in this..
I Try on hidden envy for a mask
Try to logic my way from holding on
But masks become cloaks
And everything stays on the inside
All my thoughts are of darkness
'cause I've been denied the light
Been living in heavy contrast
And I just wanted some grey
You've never loved me, that's okay..
I'll learn to walk my path someday
As soon as I earn some scars and such
stumbling over these volumes of poetry
I've been lost in finding grey
Pounding on walls I thought were doors,
No one on the other side
My echo never infected you..
I was always alone in this..
Eyes on your back as you walk away..
Been living in heavy contrast
You were my only hope
While I stumbled through
These volumes of poetry.

You are a universe within a body
And I am caught in your gravity
Spinning, I've had a few too many
Almosts with you, in doses so small
I didn't know I was hooked
Being drawn in on the line
Pulled out of my atmosphere
The world was beautiful out there
But I couldn't breathe that air..

Walk faster and faster
Hoping you can leave it behind
But it turns every corner with you.
squeeze your eyes shut, pull at your hair
It all stays firmly in existence..
burning me..
room too big, too empty
For wandering thoughts
It's a dark, creeping whisper
.....I've ruined it all.....
Grows louder and louder
until it's pounding
It's way out of my ribcage
The darkness will hold me
Against it's beating chest like a child
Til the Sun doesn't ignite misspoken words..
Or alter the meaning of truth spoken amidst lies..
Beat in time with me
I fear I've been falling through an empty tunnel..

a moment away from today,
the broken memory seems only
mere breaths since yesterday..
versions swim in my head
like images in broken glass
and I've taken on a fade
since yesterday passed..
I fall through you like sand
leaving traces that can't be made whole..
I rearrange the glass
I don't meet up at the seams
the image is still shattered
and the sand is still clinging
to the memory of you
that is falling through my head
like yesterday
in this moment
Before today