Hey, I know you've been having a rough time
I know life hasn't been everything you thought it would be
I know the daily battles keep you in your mind
I wish you could witness the you I see

I know you've built a thick callous around your heart
That you feel like you need to keep everyone out
I know you feel like the world has torn you apart
I know there are things that plague you, that you don't talk about

I'm always here if you need a friend
If you need to lean on me
If you can't fake it or pretend
That's okay I get it - be the way you have to be

If you want to scream do it
I'll be a sounding board
I will try to help you pull through it
You don't have to do it on your own accord

I've been hurt and battered
This life has been far from easy
But look at us - we haven't shattered
Remember I'm here if you need me

Lead me out onto the dance floor
just one more time before we go
I will wear a mask of joy
to hide my deepest sorrow

You are leaving tomorrow.

You will be back you say
you say a lot of things..
You make pretty promises
with words and rings.

and each word that breaks... stings.

You said that you wouldn't go
no matter what, no one could pull you away.
how am I supposed to trust
a single thing you say?

For some reason I still do...
even if there is fear and doubt.
I will support your decisions
even if they make me want to shout.

I want to scream in agony
that my heart is going through
it is being twisted on a roasting spit
I don't know what to do

It feels like its stopped beating
or that it is being squeezed
every time you look for that smile
that now seems diseased

You...You say you love me
and I know that much is true
But what are promises, but potential lies
until they are followed through?

It is pure grief
It is lonesome
As time becomes a thief

It will be sweet
It will be bitter
If ever again we meet

A moment in time frozen for me and you
Your smile brightens as the love shines through
Remembrance glitters in my eyes
As I turn away and say I'm fine

You're dreaming
As I lay awake
My mind constantly screaming

I close my eyes and pray
For all of you
Each and every day

You fill my mind with whispers of safety
You fill my heart with love abounding
You stand before me so bravely
Saying "Yes, I love You, I Do,"
Those words hold power,
I have never had trust in someone
Like I MUST have in you.
Because I gave you my broken heart
and you took my past, and had it undone
to mend it.. To defend it...

Now our lives are blended together
Two as one, now and forever
you are my light, my sun, my moon
My muse, my life, my dear...
You take away my fear.

Thank you for everything that you do
thank you for truly, just being you...
You took my broken heart, and made it whole
You hugged me, and brought back my soul...
You gave me the words to write on these pages,
So I give them back to you, and hope you accept

I had never known a love like ours
I never stopped to smell the flowers
I never took the time
Until I called you mine.

You brought me love, and life
You took my pain and strife
You gave me wings so I may fly
You gave me peace I can’t deny

I will walk with you forever
Through any lesson, or endeavor
I will be there, holding your hand
I will always understand
Thank you for the love you give

Let's play pretend
Pretend we're kids again
Back when smiles came naturally
Before our hearts were casualties

Let's play pretend
Make believe we're still friends
Back when we laughed for hours
Before the world turned sour

Let's play pretend
Imagine love with no end
Back to the beginning
Before the demons were winning

Let's play pretend
Like a message in an bottle we send
To someone in an imaginary land
Before we could really understand

Let's play pretend
Learn to smile again
Faking it isn't the same
Faking a smile to hide the shame

Imagine if we could remember
The final sparks of a dying ember
Of the hope that carried us on the wind
When we would play pretend

Plucked from my roots
I whither
Crushed underfoot,
After being stolen
-for beauty's sake
Made worthless, garbage
For a moment of careless want.

That is not the end
just the start
the beauty in pain can be found
regain the strength
and let love abound

I cover up how cold I feel with a warm smile
Slowly recede into my mind, and hide for a while
fear begins to creep in past my defenses
until the chill of it overwhelms my senses
I drive the dark interstate from thought to thought
disbelieving what I'm thinking, and the pain its wrought
I don't shed tears on the surface, I've taught myself other ways
I silently drown in my sorrow, pray, and wait for better days
So I'll let myself smile, or edify, to better hide my pain
as I sit within my mind, and slowly go insane
Tears are for people who let their pain escape
the pain within my brain rarely takes a shape
When it does, Its a slowly spreading darkness, it forms a raging sea
it drowns me deep within it, I choke on insecurity

You have been called
Will you listen?

You have been called
Will you answer?

You have been called
Will you hesitate?

I heard you
I swear I did
I called back!
I swear!
But was it enough? Was I too late?
Did I forget? Are you still my mate?

The wind whispered and whistled
all around the bow
I shivered when the beam hit me
the light shined so bright
When it faded all I could see was you.
I could hear you calling
I could hear you laugh
I could hear my tears
and wondered why
Why would I cry?

I am blessed for each breath
each moment with you and Toby
I will learn to savor the flavor
of joy in each stride
Dignity until I die
and a love that won't

Sorrow Grief Trauma Fear
These are the shackles that I wear
These chains are forged in pain
They increase the weight I bear

I fight endlessly in this war
But my hands and feet are tied
I'm entrenched and I'm drenched
In the swamps of tears that I've cried

My soul weeps and is weary
My memory is my torment, not my friend
But I will keep trying and crying for God-
For Him to help put my suffering to an end

The monsters hide behind kind faces
In places where they can't let thier intentions be known
They keep their mask up until they get you alone

Then they have you and grab you to pull you under thier toxic spell
Leaving you broken alone and clinically unwell

They portray you as crazy with what they say to your friends and family
So in the end they insure everyone leaves

Narcissistic parasitic vampire that feasts on your fears
They shatter you and leave you drowning in tears.

After they are done and they've won  they take with them your sanity
So everywhere you go monsters are all you see

I've worn this mask for far too long
Pretending always that nothing's wrong
I always had to be the one to be strong always seeking Somewhere I Belong

The mask sinks it's Talons into my skin
I don't know where I end and The Mask begins
It seems now to be wearing thin
I thought it protected me- but it is my sin

It's the lie that I show to the world
The lie I've worn since I was a little girl
I was trained to hide all my pain
I was constrained to pretend I'm sane

I became the mirror to all who peered in
I withdrew to the iron and porcelain cage Within
Pretending always in this unending ruse
Hiding every tear and every bruise

Pretending I wasn't abused
Leaving my conscience more confused

I faked it so long I lost who I am
Condemning myself - feeling ******
No one needs to see my strife
So I've stayed hidden away all my life

Always in fear of what the world would do
If they found out my truth - if they knew
So I sublimated myself as I grew
Speaking my truth to only a few

Most often when I finally shared
My fear was realized - they abhorred me - or didn't care
Now it seems I can no longer hide
Because I can feel myself slowly dying inside

What will I do when my mask shatters
What will you do - I guess that's what matters
Will you also cast me away
Or will you still choose to stay

Falling from on high
I plummet
through the beautiful sky
The ocean rushes up to meet me

I flew way up on wings
of feathers and wax
As my heart did sing
Your warnings I did not heed

I couldn't hear over my heart like a drum
  or over the wind
I was greatly overcome
With my first taste of feeling free

I'm falling I'm falling
Into the depths
You're calling You're calling
for my death swiftly comes from the sea

You silenced my voice
Because you're afraid of what I'd say
You barr my exit
Because you fear I won't stay
You excuse your behavior
But scared at the end of the day

Was what I said too far?
Did I steal the peace away?
Did I fail once again?
What price is there yet to pay?

You'll get away scott free
With no definitive recompense
The only cost - Is me
Does that make any sense?

You're so full of fear
That you turn into anger
You can't even hear
The incoming danger

You're so caught up
in how you were brought up
That you can't grow past it
Can you grasp it?

I don't want to say hello because I hate to say goodbye
Everyone always leaves in the end no matter how hard I try
I never knew I'd lose everyone I  thought loved me
they turned their backs or I lost them because of insecurity
I'm scared of living more than I fear dying
With the first there's more disappointment, anguish and lying
When I mask the pain so no one else can see
With the other there's peace, bliss and finality
It is the last goodbye I'd ever have to say
But I'm still thankful for every blessed day

Life has spun me round and round
Picked me up, threw me on the ground
It tossed me here, and there
It never seemed to be very fair

I never asked for the life I've been given
I am just glad I got the chance to be living
I thank God every day for the ones in my life
Who make it worth it, who take away my strife

I used to get scared about whats around the next bend
But I am turning the corner and the fears at its end
I see the light, Its in my loved ones eyes,
I don't see regret, anger, or lies...

I see my children, and what God has done,
To bring me here, right now, with my daughter and sons
I see what my life is shaping and forming into
and I know what I am going to do

I was made, to be here with Him
I don't care about the past, no matter how grim
Because my future is brighter than the darkness
No matter its pitch, no matter how heartless...

God is stronger than the devil
on every single level..
So love is more powerful than the dark
Its a complex idea, yet so stark.

Clear and defining, in every way
Love will last til the end of days
This family I've been given
I've been forgiven
Because I forgave myself

A burden since birth
That's all she was worth
At least what every one taught her
Then came the shame
She must be to blame
After the monsters sought her
She doubted all peace
She received no release
From her past that would always haunt her
The demons that lived in her dreams
And would silence her screams
They lived in her mind to taunt her
But did she let them in
Where did it begin
Was it inherited from her mother or father
She'd sink into her mind
Looking for something good to find
But the voices echoed "why bother"
Stuck in the flesh
Finding no rest
Haunted by scars, trauma and fear
No clear path to victory
Through all of life's mystery
So hurt she can't shed a tear
Her somber heart breaks
With every breath she takes
But she will push through til tomorrow
She will see the dawn
She will stay strong
Not allowing herself to succumb to sorrow

I do not have words profound
That lessen the crippling grief
My only hope that I've found
to try to bring some relief
To find the we in wellness
To relate in some small way
So sorrow doesn't overwhelm us
And sweep us up in its waves
I'm a hand reaching out into the dark
In this vast and hollow world
Something to hold on to - a simple spark
The catching fire of hope unfurled
If you hear my voice
Echoing in this abyss
You can make the choice
To rest and find some bliss
Do not say goodbye
To a world that turned its back
I am here, I hear you cry
In this cold world that seems so black
I may only be letters on a page
But I can feel your heart break
I can sense your hardened rage
Remember this life is yours to make
I hope you learn to let go
Of this heavy burden
I hope you always know
My faith in you is certain
Stand up and take back your life
Beat back those laughing demons
They can no longer cause you strife
Let go of all those reasons...
;
You are loved You are seen
If even only by a stranger unknown
With thousands of miles inbetween
Remember friend, You are not alone

When good memories fade into bad dreams
Where do you go next?
When you find out love isn't what it seems
When you feel torn and vexed.

Conflicted in heart mind and soul
And the only one who can help you won't
Because your heart - they stole
they begged you to change but you don't

What do you say
When the thrill fades away
All that's left is ashes
And I'm holding the matches

Self aware and self destructive
Like gasoline on a funeral for shattered aspirations
But the love you show is seductive
And yet I am the cause of your exasperation

Don't deny what we both know as truth
Its ironic if you do
Don't waste on me another moment of youth
To your heart be true

We are standing at a crossroad
Make a choice. Follow that road and don't look back
How could either of us have known
That our courage and trust would crack.

As the walls that once guarded my heart
Fall upon our blossoming love
Don't let my hands tear you apart
Rest in guidance from above

Are we at an impasse
Are we headed for a breakdown or breakthrough
Will our love be able to last
Please God, Tell me what to do

I leave it up to You.

Through my trifling life I wander
As my recollection muses, I ponder
What if I treated myself fonder
Treated my time wisely and didn't squander

A moment passes and it's gone
A new begining comes with each dawn
Why spend each day withdrawn
Overthinking the agony beyond

All life has worth it should be treasured
Except mine? How can worth be measured
Why should I always feel pressured
I mean - look at all the storms I've weathered

You'd think I like me. You'd be wrong
I try my best to always stay strong
I keep on singing a victory song
Yet I fear I'll never find where I belong

Your eyes make me forget the moon
that is something that has never consumed  - me
Luna and Music were my only friends
after all of the parties would end

I was always filled with anger and darkness and spit in my eye
and a ******* to anyone who passed me on the fly
Somehow I got lost in your eyes again today
I felt my mind begin to fray
you touched my hair, he nudged my face
I felt out of place

Erratic nature and a spirit unbroken
unbridled fury and whispers spoken
friends holding hands, lovers; true
But most of all I like time spent with you
talking or laughing just doing what you do
I don't think you know I admire you too.

From Day 1 My eyes lit up
Embarrassment hid it away
If I had let it my heart would have flown away
It fluttered in my chest, my hands started to sweat
What was coming over me
Made me want to flee!

Raise the sails and red flags.
Fly the black flag under the moon
your advice I like the most
Is flee from doom and gloom.

Truth abounds and bears fruit so sweet
It seizes your heart and makes you complete
If you choose to rise above the storm and fear
If you are willing to face the demon you see in the mirror
The dawn awakens the faith you breathe in
It abolishes the hate you seem to seethe in

Let the darkness in your heart fade away
The light breaches the horizon - seize the new day

You will find whatever it is you seek
You will find your strength or what makes you weak
Whatever you feed within you grows strong
The beauty is you had the strength all along

Take accountability for your own healing
Don't spend your nights staring at the ceiling
Wondering when your life will get better
Instead - write yourself a letter.
Heartfelt and full of compassion
As if written to a friend - needing distraction

Seek after wisdom from heaven above you
Rest in Christ who just wants to love you
Find your mind becoming renewed
Don't let the message become misconstrued

Confront the demons that hold you
Forget all the lies the world sold you
Remember you are what you think you are
Remind yourself - you're a rising star

You ascend up - high in the sky
Finding the faith that makes your spirit fly
Faith in God and yourself as His creation
Finding grace, peace and lasting elation.

Take a walk through my mind
See what there is to see
You'd be shocked at what you'd find
Lurking inside of me.

Walls of wrought iron and cold steel
Higher that you'd ever expect
If you made it passed and saw what they reveal
You'd see memory lane - forgotten and derelict

A castle beyond - rising through the clouds above
Far off in the distance can be seen
Seemingly robbed of joy and love
Just before you a forest green

The trees are wide their canopies dark
They blacken out the sky
You can not even see a spark
As it flashes in their eyes

You feel surrounded and yet there's nothing
As you traverse the haunted place
This is where dreams die - your blood is rushing
You look back as if you're being chased

Your heart is pounding harder now -
Than it ever has before
They can only hurt you if you allow
Them to sink into your core

You hear water you realize
As you quicken the pace
Suddenly you see the skies
And a very lovely place

A field of ash trees in the dwindling light of day
A clear babbling brook
Many sprites and other fae
Like a scene out of a charming book

They sing a song that sounds like spring
As you watch them play
They spin around in a mushroom ring
A beautiful display

They lead you through a final copse of trees
There you find the road
The fae are carried away on the breeze
Their favor on you bestowed

As you walk the sun sets
Shadows are all around
The darker it is the quieter it gets
Your heart the only sound

You kick along a cobblestone
As the harvest moon rises high
You feel utterly alone
Then you see a raven in the sky

If you follow it all the way home
It will lead you straight to me
To the castle I built on my own
Was the time worth the journey?

Rain on me your wisdom
In loud song or whispered verse
Take from me this burden
Lift me from this horrid curse

Lay down beside me
And teach me all you know
Let me rise from the ashes
And bask in the fire's glow

Revive in me my vigor
And thirst for all things new
Let me sing again in the rain
And dance in the morning dew

Let me find the grace
Through the worlds many snares
Soothe me with your mercy
Please heed my many prayers

I'm lost in this evil time
With fears of being forgotten
I've been pushed down over and over
My soul is so downtrodden

Do you hear my cries to you
That echo through my mind
Maybe you're testing me
A warrior in me - you'll find

A fighter that's grown weary
In need of much redeeming
A fractured mind and soul
Looking for you intervening

Have I squandered my existence?
Do my laments reach your ears?
Do you think I'm worth saving?
Can I cast on you my fears?

What are you doing to yourself
Going over it again and again in your head
What purpose does this serve?
Why Linger on Words left unsaid

Why dwell in darkened memories
that refute Your Inner Strength
why do you keep yourself shackled
and keep love at arms length

--------------

Because I feel like it's deserved
For every bridge that I've burned
Each took with it pieces of my soul preserved I feel the pain has been earned

I deserve the anguish I feel
For every horrible mistake
I do not feel worthy of love that's real
I put my own life on the stake

So I will relive my every scar
over and over in my head
to make it makes sense how I got this far when long ago - I should have been dead

---------------

I do not think this is helpful
I really do not think this is right
you did not cause your misery
so lay down the burdens tonight

let yourself have some solace
give yourself an ounce of peace
rest in God's promise
and put to bed the Beast

Everything you do is like a song
Written by the beat of your heart
When you're near I feel like I belong
I can almost hear the music start

The rhythm in the way you speak
Your grace built in your fortitude
Drives me to no longer feel weak
Your presence of mind, ends my solitude

I have never had love like this before
I never connected on a level this deep
You make me forget all I had to endure
Your loyalty comforts me when I weep

You are the treasure
That the hero wishes to find
at the end of the adventure
You are the most precious kind

That person that you can turn to
Who will never turn their back
Someone who is always true
and will be there when you feel under attack

You have all of my admiration
For fearlessly being who you are
You have all my adoration
For helping me get so far

You have all of my dedication
You have my heart from now until forever
My love grows with every conversation
This tie between us will not be severed

I want to be for you -
what you have been for me
To always be true
To help to set you free

You already have your freedom
As you've made every sacrifice
You know who you've become
So I will lean on your advice

You are a lover and a friend
My husband in my mind
With a love that knows no end
That people can seldom find

You've held me through the dark nights
When I didn't think I'd see the dawn
You showed me how to win these mental fights
When I think my strength is gone

You are my light when my eyes fail
You lead me back to where I need to be
You are my billowing sail
When I feel lost at sea

With every stone thrown
Apathy is grown
everything said becomes irrelevant
With the resentment you've shown
I feel all alone
Totally out of my element

Your voice can chill to the bone
With your coarse tone
Do you see my pain shine through
Does it remain unknown
I can't carry it on my own
Feeling nothing is all I can do

I push down the anger and fear
I bury it deep in my chest
I let go of all I hold dear
And simply hope for the best

I have faked joy for so long
I don't recognize myself in a mirror
It seems everything is so wrong
But I'm seeing myself clearer

My own mind provides my torture
Til I feel hollow -so empty
I guess that's why they call it disorder
Maybe that's why apathy tempts me

To all the mysteries in this life,
nothing cuts as deep like a knife
in your back, put there -
by people - who swore they care
and yet it can all be healed
No matter how cold or dark you feel.
There is always hope in the coming dawn
until the very day were gone
even then there is hope
if you wish to widen the scope.
The spirit of death is dead.
Gone when Christ lived and bled
vanquished When He Rose again,
He sent his spirit, a comforting friend
so respect the Father and His creation
explore his joy peace kindness through dedication.
He will reveal to you all things in due time,
so push-up the hill. And enjoy the climb,
enjoy the majesty of the peak
And hear this when to your soul I speak
He did move a mountain by giving you the strength to go on.
At firstNone of God's giants  felt like a champion
  you moved past the mountain in your past.
You climbed out of feeling like an outcast.
You stood up so your peace could be reclaimed.
You squared your shoulders and cast off your shame.  
You can be humble and yet courageous.
You'll find faith in God is contagious.
So share the joy of Christ's truth
to aged and the youth
to woman and man
pray to the Holy Spirit to help them understand
show them Christ offering His extended hand- through you
and in everything Give God glory for all you do
for none is of your own volition.
Because He issued you your mission.
The question is what will you say when He calls
Will you say "Yes, Lord" or will you succumb to doubt

Shes dancing with shadows
And gets lost in the rain
She quarrels with her demons
That try to bathe in her pain

As she closes her eyes
She prays for the end
Because this life gets heavy
It gets so hard to pretend

Her tears flow freely
When she speaks the name
They soak her in loneliness
And drench her in shame

The life of a childless mother
Is a pain un-compared
Its a wonder she's breathing
With the weight she has bared

Voiceless in an endless chasm
Of fear, grief and pain
Echoing with memories
That only drive her insane

The gun looks tempting
The bullet chambered is coated in grief
She toys with the thought
Would it bring me relief

No it would only pass on the pain
It would bring no relief
It would make others suffer
It would pass on the grief.

It feels like my strength is failing
Will this pain ever go away
Will I keep on prevailing
Or are these demons here to stay

I can't seem to cry out
Any louder than I am
I try to scream or shout
But I grow quiet when I feel ******

My mind makes me feel so condemned
Choked by the memories that are fading fast
Will my soul ever choose to transcend
And move on from my bitter-sweet past

Will my mind keep up this torture
Until my days are done
Will I always sink into my disorder
With nowhere left to run

I hope I will rise above
And find some inner peace
Maybe I'll find rest in love
And my soul will be released

I've been increasing my vibrations
To an elevated frequency
Thinking on a higher level
Noting the synchronicity

Following my heart and passions
and the steady stream of dopamine
Learning exponentially
How to fulfill my hopes and dreams

Focusing on love and light
And the many blessings
Not everything has to be a fight
I'm carried away on new wings

It's amazing what it can do
When you choose to believe in you
When you make every promise true
Feeling your faith makes you new

Find out what makes you feel
Like you're full of life and love
Do more that makes you feel real
Rest in peace sent from above

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you so bad

Your voice fades like a photograph

I'm afraid
I'm afraid
I'm afraid to let go

It's for the best as we both know

You're strong
You're strong
You're stronger than me

You have the power to set yourself free

My shaking hands are full of uncertainty
My steel heart is buried in sorrow
My weary mind filled with absurdity
With no motivation to see tomorrow

So many people with broken souls
Walking around with walls up
Our consciousness filled with holes
Filled with loneliness because nobody calls up

Hey how you doin' are you okay
Nah not really but I got through the day
So I guess I am better than I could have been
Thanks for asking, old friend

I have these conversations with myself
Because no one really understands
So I sit here on my shelf
With my uncertain shaking hands

I cover up how cold I feel,
With a warm smile.
I gloss over what's inside
so I can hide it for a while.

It doesn't mean that it lasts
for even more than an hour
the best way to hide your tears
is to merely take a shower

Let the sorrow wash off your skin
Breathe in the heat and exhale
Learn to wash away the gloom
and you shall never fail

I try to keep myself distracted
From my breaking mind and heart
Over thinking how I overreacted
Trying to get the healing to start

The harder I try to heal
The more I feel attacked
The less I know what is real
The less I know how to interact

My words come out forced and slow
As my mind runs in a circle
My anger blooms and begins to show
Is this fight eternal?

Crying alone on the inside
Screams echo through my mind
It feels like I already died
In this darkened grave I lay confined

Critical acute depression
Married to social anxiety
They drove me to a psych session
Because I hated being me

On and off psychosis
Paired with dissociation
Led to a new diagnosis
And a more in depth evaluation

Life long trauma formed severe PTSD
Intrusive thoughts by the minute
Nightmares and paranoia surround me
Where is the limit?

I sought out the help I need finally
I don't know why it took me so long
I'm tired of walking through life lifelessly
I'm realizing more and more - I'm strong

I'm lost in a new school in my dream
I can't figure out where to go
By the middle of it all I want to scream
School just started yet I'm failing, I know

I don't have a schedule- everyone else does
I can't find my classes or any direction
I can't even find my way back to where I was
Everything changes again in my perception

I find the library a comforting place for me
I was looking for the office - I'm happy here
I decide to stay though it's not where I should be
Because it's calming and I lose my fear

Nestled amongst books my dearest friends
I give up on looking for where I should be
I stay there until the dream ends
I'm trapped and yet here I feel free

Just before it's all over completely
I think I'm always lost in my dreams
Always a school - when I sleep this deeply
Then I woke up and wondered what it all means

A quiet soul reaching out
begging to be heard
Falling through all the doubt
Like a wounded bird

Riding the downward spiral
into the convoluted mess
Pain that seems to be viral
That causes her to regress

Holding on for dear life
to the end of her rope
The thoughts sharp as a knife
Slices through her hope

As it lays there bleeding
burning down to embers
It seems she is receding
At that moment she remembers

She takes another ragged breath
And rises from the ashes
She musters all the strength she has left
All her memories come back in flashes

The reason she fights until her dying day
It renews in her the ability to press on
It keeps the darkness at bay
Until the coming dawn

How was I supposed to grow
When you watered me with fear and doubt
How was I supposed to know
What you could never figure out
How were you supposed to teach me
What you could never learn
How to truly love and feel empathy
Instead of letting the anger burn

Now I water the garden of my heart with tears
and I can never seem to figure out
why my mind is consumed while it feasts on fears
Or what I am going so crazy about

In my darkest hour I'll sing your praise
In the valley of death, I'll have no fear
I will still worship you all of my days
Because you proved your love to be sincere
Jesus gave up His life for me
He rose up to conquer death and the grave
He did it all to set us free
He lived, died, and rose for our souls to save
He sent down the Holy Spirit to be our guide
It spreads God's wisdom and love
It shows us grace and mercy from the inside
As it rains down from the Father above

Resonate with me for a moment
Open your heart to my mind
See me not as your opponent
For a friend in me you'll find

Lean not on the understanding of man
They will only let you down
Rise up and find your feet to stand
And straighten up your crown

You are more than what they did to you
You're more than this pain you feel
Looking back do you see how you grew
Find solace in peace and love that's real

Write yourself a letter
That lets you know you're proud
Of who you've become, how you got better
Then read the words out loud

You do this often and you will see
Progress and healing in the making
Write to you like you would a friend, kindly
Even if your hand is shaking

Tell yourself things that others forgot to
Share with the paper your desire and secrets
Share with it your dreams and be true
Show it all of your pain and regrets
In the process - get to know you

Memories tarnished with loss
A life weighed down with fear
Who could bear this cross
Living life at the end of a spear

We do not carry the pain on our own
Even though it seems that way
We never carry the cross alone
All we need to do is pray

The pain may never disappear
But in time it may subside
We may never be rid of the fear
But we won't always have to hide

Hold on to hope, believe with all your might
See Life as a worthy adversary
Prepare each day for the fight
In time the weight will get easier to carry

The still small voice that helps you cope
That is your savior- within you
Begging you to hold on to the end of your rope
The one that presses you to continue

Life is not over - it just feels that way
Do not let the demons win the fight
Do not take your life - I beg you please stay. stay focused - do not lose sight

Fear grips my throat
It closes -Face to face with anxiety
I start to sputter and choke
As it whispers - you can't escape reality

It holds me down
Beneath the water
I begin to drown
My lungs begin to falter

I close my eyes tight
Preparing for the end
I look around for the light
This prayer I send

"Release me from this fate
let me let go of the fear
Scrub from my mind the hate
Let me feel that you are here"

A hand reaches into the waves
That I am caught up under
A gentle face smiles - My soul is saved
He pulls me through the rolling thunder

He quiets the storm within me
He guides me through the pain
He shines on my heart His mercy
With outstretched hand He stops the rain

I love you
I love you
I love you
More than Life itself
That is why
we have to say goodbye

I know you will be happy
I know you will find joy and peace
I know that you will be free
Find a way for faith to increase

Look for me in the rain
In the sunrise and the moon
Let go of all your pain
We will see each other soon

It may not be tomorrow
Or even in this life
But lean on Christ through sorrow
and He will take from you your strife

I will think of you every moment
Of every day I live
Because my love for you is potent
Remember the words I give

I will pray for you all the time
That your faith remains strong
So we can be together after the climb
Up to heaven, to join the angels song

They took you away
But they can not take our love
I will see you again one day
Even if its in heaven above

I burden myself with the memories
that flood my mind once again
It steals my peace and strangles my joy
The darkness becomes my friend

I hide in it like a child at play
Where no one else could seek
I let myself be consumed by it
I resign to being a freak

I was different than everyone else
I knew that right from the start
No one would let me forget
That I began life with a broken heart

I was alone from the time I was young
and nothing has ever changed
there could be an ocean of people around me
- I still would feel alone in my cage

I know where the key is
for the lock on the door
It seems that it's just out of reach
So, I settle in to suffer more