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As I lay on my poorly-made bed,
listening to the angelic voice of Bon Iver,
admiring the words that dance out of his mouth
into my lonesome ears, I feel the waters
that consume my body settle
My heartbeat is steady
My body is still
My mind is at ease
This is the definition of satisfaction,
appreciating the subtleties of life
that make such an impact in a single moment
The thing about the life you've had
Is that there's no edit button
So think twice and act once
This thing inside of me
Destroying me
Weakening me
Sickening me
I hate to say, it's getting the best of me
Fighting back at me
Whipping me
Winning over me
I hate to say, it's getting the best of me
Eating at me
Worrying me  
Taking years from me  
I hate to say, it's  getting the best of me
Changing me
On the outside of me
On the inside of me
I hate to say, it's getting the best of me
So many needles stuck in me
Taking so much blood from me
So many Doctor's seeing me
I hate to say, it's getting the best of me
The hospital a second home for me
Nurses nursing me
It's getting to be to much for me
It's killing me

But

I refuse to let it get the best of me

I have to ask

Why me ?????

This thing inside of me!
Inhale the burn, choke and splutter;
the walls sway, the roof descends.
Pass the vessel and cut the rafters;
the chair tilts, the table bends.
Exhale the fumes, laugh and mutter;
the floor shifts and window melts.
Spool back, slow down the pitter-patter
of those around; now talking faster.
Words whizz past, spill and clutter,
then echo round an empty chamber.
Retract a thought from lingering over
the tongue and through the closing shutters.
Rooms disperse and feelings clatter
with no impact on soft grey-matter
your brain swirls, and body disbands.
Through the barrel, **** the hammer;
pupils shrink and heartbeats race.
Fixated by a bold, young face
the grin widens, the wall moves near
and bubbles up in yellow blisters
wood-chip cheeks and cracking fissures
take flight and sober up halfway
through the bathroom window.
Curiouser
And
Curiouser
I follow you
down
  down
    down
      Into the most
       Odd little world of
         Madness and magic
           Jubjub and Jabberwocky
              Red-painted white roses;
                 Such a beautiful adventure
                      I have only dreamt about.
                    Still I'm bothered by how,
                   Even in a place like this,
               You only think of the time.
            My dearest white rabbit,
         I would truly hate to see
     All of Wonderland
  go and
pass
you
by.
With love, kelsey
O generation of the thoroughly smug
and thoroughly uncomfortable,
I have seen fishermen picnicking in the sun,
I have seen them with untidy families,
I have seen their smiles full of teeth
and heard ungainly laughter.
And I am happier than you are,
And they were happier than I am;
And the fish swim in the lake
        and do not even own clothing.
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