they told me to stop calling the dead
as i whisper your name
inaudible, barely a whisper
i told them
i wasn't calling the dead—
i'm trying to bring it back to life.

they told me to stop calling the dead
almost like a prayer
i repeated your name
i told them
i wasn't calling the dead—
i'm doing myself a favor.

they told me to stop calling the dead
i mumble to myself
slowly as i fall asleep,
i told them
i wasn't calling the dead—
i was calling you.

---

(The dead were once alive; had a heart, had a soul.
*I wasn't calling the dead, because you never had one.)

on my own, again
as i've always been
i know i'm the
common denominator
i just don't know *why

heartbeat

i have
been trying
to remember
to pay attention
to my body when
i'm walking, to not
forget it is me in here
but is it me in here with
these storms and hurried
thoughts i have been reaching
for a long time toward some
kind of reconciliation and
it is getting further and
further away from me
my forever ending
was not so forever
was not so final
was not what
i had hoped
it would be
who  am i
if not the
owner  of
these hands
when did my
will to fight run
so fast i could not
catch her i could not
begin to keep up with
her dreams and all of her
ambitions but she calls to me
from somewhere so far away i
can justbarelymakeoutthewords
please     don't     lose      me      but
i am struggling through weeds
and branches that are too thick
and she cries for me from the
top of a mountain from the
top of where i used to
keep     his     heart
put yourself here
she says
put yourself here


heartbeat

Surely
The day will be light
Darkness will be night
The wind will blow
While rivers flow
The sun will glow
As night creatures lay low
Why trouble incessantly
With what happens tomorrow
As long as earth remains earthly
All will come and go