You used to call me beautiful
You used to call me baby
You used to call me..
You used to call.
How do you not remember
it's been 2 years.
When people ask, I am just going to say, "I love you"
Because I don't know
what else to do
I can't hide it anymore.
feel the same
without your lips
it just won't
The wind blows so loud
that I can't sleep
I've been tired for a while -
restless for longer.
I am jealous,
of the girl,
I used to be.
My cousin asked what my resolution was for next year
I said, "to survive".
She said saying that was morbid,
but I think it's morbid if you don't.
wishing to be happy.
If I type on here that my heart still aches for you
and today I dreamt of your lips,
does that make it true?
idk why I feel this way. it's been too long.
1. I will never be the reason for you crying.
2. You couldn't push me away if you wanted to. I'm always here.
3. You make me the happiest man in the world. You have completely stolen my heart and glued it back together. You are more than I deserve. I love you with all that I have.
4. Will you be mine forever?
5. You going to be my wife one day?
6. I can see nothing in this world to make me change my mind.
7. I need your love. I need your smile. I need your touch, your laugh, your eyes. I'm the happiest man in the world to call you mine.
8. No one can love anything as much as I love you.
9. Don't give up on me.
10. I need you.
11. I love you
12. I love you
13. I'm confused. I don't know what to do.
14. I need time.
15. My head isn't right. I need to work on myself first.
16. Why are you throwing my stuff away? I'm coming back.
17. I can't ask you to wait for me. I don't want you to move on.
18. I don't think I'll ever give up on you.
19. I miss you
20. No, I'm not seeing anyone else.
21. No, I didn't sleep with her.
22. No, I don't love her anymore.
23. *I love you
excerpts from texts he once sent
would land on
"I just like people to know
that what's mine
And that's how I knew
I was not yours.
has been dug out
with a spoon
of all the times the wind blew
i never heard the bells chime
or paid attention that maybe
i was never paying attention
and the birds chirp louder
than they have before
or maybe not
i don't know
but i heard them after the rain
and i can still hear them now
singing out your name
On cold days,
I envy the landscaper
for his freedom.
It's been 4 months since I seen him and my horoscope says this is the year it finally came to an end.
It's been 4 months since I've seen him and I still can't date again.
It's been 4 months since I've seen him and I still don't think I'll love anyone the way I loved him.
It's been 4 months.
one of those nights
And she said,
"he never keeps the good ones"
as if I was just another number.
You passed me in a '68 Chevy
Didn't blink twice, didn't even wave
You left my head and heart feeling heavy
*******, I'm a Ford girl anyway.
F you and your Chevy you rode in on.
I quit smoking and my words turned to ****
I quit drinking and my mind turned to ****
I quit you and my heart turned to ****
What the **** do I have left?
I rather be an addict.
Somebody out there
will love you
And if that
or inspire you
then I don't know what will.
my heart -
it starts again,
There comes a time when you recognize
When you lie awake at night
Remembering past experiences
How much you've learned
At every turn
And every thought of your thoughts you thought were wrong that were actually right
And you remember how your chest used to feel so sunken that you couldn't sleep
And the dark would creep its way in
Fill you with sin after sin after sin just to get rid of his grin that was burned so deep within your psyche that your dreams played it on repeat
A broken record
Same ****, different man
Same bed, same times waking up to check for texts that you already know didn't come
Ignored by a different number from almost the same someone
Alcoholic tendencies behind every heartbreak
Every fake "baby"
Every daily wake
and I try to cry but I shake, I shake, I shake
I think about it
all the time
You just don't forget
a love like
When she asks you if you're single,
do you hesitate?
'Cause I do.
I always do.
I keep telling
myself that he
don't love me
can't I understand?
Your memory came back to me
And I fought it away
My eyes going back and forth between
The man with the mud on his sleeve
And the words I couldn't hear him say.
I fought it.
I look in the mirror and I don't see the same thing that the gas station cameras show that hang above as you walk in. I read before that we view ourselves 5 times more beautiful and I don't want to understand the difference.
I stood at the park watching the ponds sway. the ducks try to reach water through the ice and I thought for a moment about throwing myself in and if it was slush or if I'd never find my way out again. would my body just be a blue blob not because of cold but because of my sweatshirt I was wearing and if the boy sitting on the guard rail would run to save me but then i remembered boys always let me drown.
I sat in my driveway listening to the silence ringing in my ears with the fuzz in my head. Been hurting for days, I wish mites would crawl in and eat it away maybe there's a tumor there they could fix but the CT scan 5 years ago showed no complaint even though I complained about it.
No where else to go i sat in a deep stare and not that I want to die but it felt good to think about how it would feel not to feel at all cause even when you're numb something remains its like peeling off 3 layers exposing skin that lives underneath and that can be a very dangerous thing.
but my friend told me to keep crawling till I walk so I promised I would try. even with this overwhelming urge that I'm wasting my life.
It's gonna be another lonely night.
I have vertigo and it ruins me.
You left your memories behind again:
Change on the table
And my pillows, your scent
I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget I never forget
I want to rip my heart out of my chest
and serve it on a platter
to the next one who will love it best
one who wont use it
to put out their cigarettes
my name is ashley. pun intended.
Some you still dream of,
some you do not.
I hope I see you.
I hope you see me, too.
to know I'm still in your dreams, though I'm out of your life, would be a privilege.
When you breathe frantic as you sleep
I like to run my fingers across your chest
And slide my hand along your face
To let you know
That even in your dreams
I'll keep you safe
When I told you happy birthday,
you said that you missed me...
and then I never heard from you again.
Why did you say that? It's messing with my head.
If reality is better than our dreams;
then why is it so easy for you to fall asleep
and for me to stay awake?
He said he wanted to know where my mind was
But I don't know how to say that 15 seconds prior to you texting
I was pulling my hair and screaming at the door;
I feel crazy more than half of the time, and I'd admit myself,
but adults don't admit they're crazy anymore.
So I simply tell you my mind is in shambles
and it's been a bad bad day;
You ask if I want to text you later:
proof you already don't want to stay
proof why I wish all my boys away
this berryblossom white
and johnny cash
are the only things
helping me see clearly
this foggy morning
for i can see the sun peering through
but i do not feel it (like the mist)
the colors are not the same
nor do i think
they ever will be
so i sit
of why a man in black
He asked me if I missed the feeling
of being in love.
I told him that I can remember what it's like but I can't remember how it feels.
And I'm not sure if that's a blessing
or a curse.
please tell me why your heart pains for me.
please tell me how.
you get what you give
I found your Smith and Wesson box hiding behind the spare room door
And I'm not quite sure how I never noticed it
Or maybe I didn't want to
It's sitting on the burn pile now
3 inches of snow beneath
I hope you didn't want it
But I really hope you do
Ask me where
my heart belongs
and I'll say,
"amongst the wreckage"
I can't believe
the amount of times
I wished that
you'd come back
Now that you did -
I can't believe
the amount of times
Showing you my words
would be like showing you my weakness
would be like showing you I care
would be like you still do
Trying not to love you
is like trying not to eat chocolate cake..
You get enough to taste,
but you always want more.
Today I almost drove.
When will I learn,
7 miles to get to you
7 hrs to get away
Everything I write
is so ******* sad
and I'm so ******* sad
and everything in general
is just so.
she said she wants to be the girl with the most cake
she fakes it so real she's beyond fake
she loves him so much that it turns to hate
but she never felt the rush that comes with your taste
like a hit in the veins you can't replace
like an addiction so good you don't want saved
always searching for the high in a different shape
but there's no comparison, you can't escape
your heart aches and aches and aches and aches
perfume that's just his scent, he begs
and breaks and breaks and breaks and breaks
white roses flow from between your legs
drown him till he makes you shake
in this love, the only winner is fate
This is **** but I love it
I said, "why am I not good enough?"
And you told me to quit
Your drunken eyes, they spilled out lies
"You always do this ****"
I wanted you to tell me
That I am all you need
My self esteem, no longer clean
From ***** hands with greed
Instead I stood and faltered
As I watched your dead blank stare
I can't control what isn't whole
You didn't care, you didn't care.
It's as cold as the snow that falls to the ground
As silent as the winter the earth surrounds
With the moon broadcasting it's dimming light
I will no longer love you, no more than tonight
Till the stars slowly sway with idle align
And broke hearts fly away on the arrows of time
Only then will the embers no longer ignite
For I will no longer love you, no more than tonight
And as darkness fades to take way my soul
And brings forth the pain with the undertow
Oh, morning be kind, please do not spite
But I could no longer love him, no more than tonight