You are washed up
Out-dated
Old-fashioned
Never fashionable.

You treat me like an anomoly
Like my intelligence is withered.
Your goal in life is to make me feel small.

In response, I stand up.
Shout
Scream
Belt
Until you can no longer ignore me
Or put me in my place.

I love when you get that look on your face.
That look of utter
Disgust
Disconcertion
Defeat.
It just goes to show that
I know how to outsmart you.

This is why I need feminism.
Why I have embraced it.
Because everything that makes me "unlady-like"
Makes a man ideal in your eyes
And in society's.

To rid the world of
So-called human beings like you.
While in reality
You are nothing but a sexist.

You lose your value everytime you cuss.
It's unlady like to many of us.

A real woman is stern, firm and strong.
Not in the least bit to correct any wrong.

You loses your value everytime you speak.
You can gain it back.
If you think before you speak.

To think, it's a total waste of a good hearted soul.
Who tries to follow?
Instead of lead.
For that's all I known you to do.

This  was one of the qualities, I respected about you.
Besides the way you carry yourself.
Very independent.
Who requested no help?

The woman I remember was schooled in charm.
Well bredded.
Well educated with knowledge.
Just true lady-like quality.

Who was an examples to others?
This will always be the lady I remember.
A woman, who have more value than gold.

have a God,
be a deist instead
then marry me,
the mediocre Catholic.

let's have children,
let's not have children
because "Parents, they ******* up."
but you'd make a great dad
I think
yes? no?
maybe?
and I'd make a great mom...
...sort of.

We'd love them (the children or child..whichever)
and we'd be weird
so they'd (or he or she..again, whichever) be weird
and their friends would say,
"Who the **** are The Beatles?"

Eh...let's not get married
yet.
let's hold hands first
or be together a year
or get through one meal without having to giggle and look away
because I caught you staring at me
or was it me who was...never mind.

Now I'm studying my hands,
the ones you have not held,
the ones with the ugly, fat, stubby, unlady-like fingers
the same fingers you said you loved.

you're such an idiot sometimes.

Remember that time you said I was beautiful?
which time?
oh right, you've said it more than once;

you idiot.

Do you notice how when you're not looking at me
I stare at your face?
your eyes?
your lips?
your perfect lashes?
No?

good.

I should stop now.
see you soon,
you

idiot.

Cleanse the palette
Out all the toxins
Write it out
Dance it out
Sit and wallow it out
I white out things that are changing
Create ink where there are new plans
But today, I just wanna sit in my bed and be productive.

Its been a time.
11 months is the score
This time last year I fretted and waited for answers
I don't wait for answers anymore.

I hit a point of running the cash register
Pouring soups, delivering food
Where I saw the flashes and images
Of you with your newness in my mind
I felt so angry, so betrayed
And it makes me want to scream at the heavens
At them all
I have done nothing but date pigs.

The sun seems to peeking from under the clouds now
But my insides still feel the same remorse.

You blended into the wall paper
Of what you thought I wanted, needed
Our mothers said you longed to be of the same caliber
I can't believe I let you back into my bed
So many ******* times.

I long and whistle and wait for the summer time
I'll be just my own
But can't help and remember stolen traffic cones
Or how adventurously handsome you seemed
And portrayed yourself to be
As you replace, replace, replace
Step and repeat, rinse me away
A swamp of faces telling me how much I mean
But surrounding your deceit and immature ways
Because of ******* history.
And like a hooded ***** witch
I cast knowing spells, my hands in the air

You will all be torn apart in time
You will all have to go your own way as clocks tick by
This cult, fraternity that you sit upon
Filled with lies, cheating, backstabbing
It will all fall.

But I send my love and well to do kisses.


I HATE myself for falling for it.
I hate myself for not listening to warnings
I hate myself for believing you were unique
I hate myself for giving you a chance again and again
I hate myself for wanting so much
From someone who could give so little
Somedays I soar
Somedays I grieve so deeply
Somedays I hate you and hate you and hate you
And somedays
None of the poetry or the character you played
To rope me in
Matters at all.

You are just like a brick wall.

But now there is a barrier
A barrier in which you have attempted to replace, erase
Me, this time last week I had such a huge kick in my step
My body painted with fresh coats of paint
I drank so much whiskey until I couldn't feel anymore
But I was too drunk to reach you.

Thank God.

Because you are unreachable
I wish I didn't feel pain anymore
And I mostly have been so good, so alive, so radiant
But today, today
I wanted to shake you and hate you
And I do from afar.

Time to write it out in more blue ink
I cancel plans because I want my own company
I'm ready for change
A new comforter, new sheets, new chest of drawers
A little place we can play in our cobwebs of art and poetry
Its too bad yet another one had to be a disappointment.

Lost love
Abandoned love
Lying love
Deceptive love
I wonder if you replay the image of my face on the train
When I decided to fully push you away.

**** it.
**** it all.
What an unlady like thing for me to say
I wanna be the best
I wanna be the most popular
I wanna be the most successful

But I put my cross down of giving and hurting
I nod at the sunshine peeking out from the clouds
All my poems seem to come full circle
And end with me picking and lifting myself
Back out of the rabbit hole
I'm all I really got.

i am not to be pursued as one your ****** interests,
because i wear clothing that are tight-fitted and lack inches.
refrain from holding on my arm, don't approach me with the famous mating calls; matter of fact don't approach me at all.
"ayo ****",
NO, you cannot text me.
no you cannot take me home, or use slick talk to undress me.
"maybe if you dress more appropriate, with elegance and class"
how about i wear what the **** i want without being harassed.
"act like a lady"
please do not play me.
i will not submit to your labels of what a woman should be,
or how she should dress.
really? what's next?
will i have to wear nun outfits to get a date,
because it's respectable, then will i find a 'mate'?
get the **** up out my face.
maybe i shouldn't use profanity,
maybe it makes me less of a lady.
& maybe words like "****** & hoes" make me look ****** crazy?
*** you're so unlady like.
ok but i sleep great at night!
maybe i should be a lady, so tell me what is a lady like?
sorry, nope, i will NOT shave my legs every night.
i will not wear extra clothing to be pleasing in your sight.