Cleanse the palette Out all the toxins Write it out Dance it out Sit and wallow it out I white out things that are changing Create ink where there are new plans But today, I just wanna sit in my bed and be productive.
Its been a time. 11 months is the score This time last year I fretted and waited for answers I don't wait for answers anymore.
I hit a point of running the cash register Pouring soups, delivering food Where I saw the flashes and images Of you with your newness in my mind I felt so angry, so betrayed And it makes me want to scream at the heavens At them all I have done nothing but date pigs.
The sun seems to peeking from under the clouds now But my insides still feel the same remorse.
You blended into the wall paper Of what you thought I wanted, needed Our mothers said you longed to be of the same caliber I can't believe I let you back into my bed So many ******* times.
I long and whistle and wait for the summer time I'll be just my own But can't help and remember stolen traffic cones Or how adventurously handsome you seemed And portrayed yourself to be As you replace, replace, replace Step and repeat, rinse me away A swamp of faces telling me how much I mean But surrounding your deceit and immature ways Because of ******* history. And like a hooded ***** witch I cast knowing spells, my hands in the air
You will all be torn apart in time You will all have to go your own way as clocks tick by This cult, fraternity that you sit upon Filled with lies, cheating, backstabbing It will all fall.
But I send my love and well to do kisses.
I HATE myself for falling for it. I hate myself for not listening to warnings I hate myself for believing you were unique I hate myself for giving you a chance again and again I hate myself for wanting so much From someone who could give so little Somedays I soar Somedays I grieve so deeply Somedays I hate you and hate you and hate you And somedays None of the poetry or the character you played To rope me in Matters at all.
You are just like a brick wall.
But now there is a barrier A barrier in which you have attempted to replace, erase Me, this time last week I had such a huge kick in my step My body painted with fresh coats of paint I drank so much whiskey until I couldn't feel anymore But I was too drunk to reach you.
Thank God.
Because you are unreachable I wish I didn't feel pain anymore And I mostly have been so good, so alive, so radiant But today, today I wanted to shake you and hate you And I do from afar.
Time to write it out in more blue ink I cancel plans because I want my own company I'm ready for change A new comforter, new sheets, new chest of drawers A little place we can play in our cobwebs of art and poetry Its too bad yet another one had to be a disappointment.
Lost love Abandoned love Lying love Deceptive love I wonder if you replay the image of my face on the train When I decided to fully push you away.
**** it. **** it all. What an unlady like thing for me to say I wanna be the best I wanna be the most popular I wanna be the most successful
But I put my cross down of giving and hurting I nod at the sunshine peeking out from the clouds All my poems seem to come full circle And end with me picking and lifting myself Back out of the rabbit hole I'm all I really got.