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 Nov 2021 Sergio Gonzalez
Grace E
Down she fell in dust and ashes and hit the ground like lightening carving through earth as she landed.  
They relished seeing her subdued. They loved telling her she was undone.
But their hearts trembled, as they beheld, from beneath the mound of soot and torched ambitions,
A faint glow began to twinkle and glimmer and burn brighter,
She emerged from her burial place, with her wings set on fire. She burned hotter than she did before she fell.
She laughed, for they were faint at the sight of her. She could not be overcome. She rises stronger with every blow she receives.
A Phoenix.
 Jul 2021 Sergio Gonzalez
Anna
there is a deep dark sadness
Inside of me

It is woven through my nerves
Flowing through my veins
Pulsing pounding blood in my heart

It never leaves
And I don’t think
I could live
Without it
Your the wheel to the truck
You turn me on side to side
I got few flavors
And it's cold and bitter
I knew already
what has again been proven
that people are kind
and human kindness is moving

After all the hurt and trials

they reach out
with velvet hands
to carress a small dog
their voices hightened
to make it wag its tail

they smile back brightly
the child in each of them
still thriving
as they look out to the world
in curiosity and wonder

they open up their hearts
so easily so willingly
as if family means much more
than what it says on the tin

and flustered
they take compliments
and share their wisdom
with eyes and minds full of story

Such small things
really make you wonder
how we could create war
when there's beauty in our core
Guess the city taught me more than the smallness of my existence, huh?
Slowly going from sociopathy to being ruthless.
It doesn't matter to you people what the truth is.
All of these games are despicable stupid.
But you people lie so much that it's just made up to be true confusion.
 Jul 2021 Sergio Gonzalez
Nikki
What did I do wrong
To deserve this vast emptiness
Where life should be
Where joy and wonder and adventure
Should’ve reigned

While instead every day,
Blurring into one,
Is ruled by disappointment,
And self-pity,
And self hatred

When all I ever wanted
When all I ever asked for
Was one reason
Only one
To make my life worth living
To bring a light in the darkness
To make sense of a senseless world
To bring an end to all my doubts and heartaches
Only one
Love
“You look like my daughter”
The man says to me,
As he’s ordering me a drink
Looking my body up and down.

I laugh,
Look away,
Try to pretend he didn’t say that

Oh but don’t worry
He made it a point
to mention
T H R E E
              M O R E
                           T I M E S
how my body
Resembled his daughters,
“Tight, perfect, the right kind”

Oof.
Idk y’all
Idk that I can do this.
I walk away
I dont make that money.
Even though I know **** well,
I fit his ****** up fantasies.

Not to mention I’m triggered,
Thanks to my childhood trauma,
By all of this conversation,
But it doesn’t really matter
Anyways.
Just a product of my environment
Just an object to fill
The desires
Of hungry eyes.

**** it
Let me be
An empty *** doll.
Just take my intelligence with you please.
Flowers for Algernon ,
And I’m wilting.
I’m too aware of my place in society.

Why strive to peruse my education,
When I know no one will hire me
Because of my background?
Why stay sober,
When my ******* flashbacks
Only stop when I’m drunk?

I hate my life.
No I don’t like the job I have;
But this **** ain’t easy.

And none of it is my fault.
It isn’t.
None of my trauma is my fault.

At least At the end of the day
I have the comfort
Of knowing,
That I matter just as little as the next person.
My life,
In all of its glory,
matters just as little as john f Kennedy’s
I am nothing
And we are nothing

Our suffering is eternal
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