i pay my debt by seeing you everywhere and realizing we will never meet again.

it is the pleasure in killing myself.

when you have reached the depth of your internal suffering
that intense heaviness in your heart
and the most comforting part of your sorrow

to realize that you are done

can u call it home when u rarely feel included?

you're the only mercy that the universe has given to me.

my home, please let me in.

i asked the moon to take care of him.
he rarely goes out every night.

and here we are again
waiting for that agony
that despite of me doing everything i can
i still always end up helpless

every
single
time

memories are treasures
that you're supposed to bring
not a pin that u have to endure,
that keeps u from moving

go on, move forward
and stop being a coward
close the door and just leave
remember, nostalgia deceives

Life is full of chemistry

it's challenging to learn

but when you finally understood things

you will realize how amazing life can be

and how little things actually mean a lot.

Lately, I've asked myself
Many questions of mankind
They are like books in a shelf
Combined in my lost mind

The unending questions of "Whys"
A battle that I'm facing
I'm looking for words that are concise
For these unexplainable feeling

Why do I have to be sad?
Why do I have to cry?
This world is making me mad
For always making me try

Try to answer these questions
But what I got were additions
All I wanted were just replies
But what I got were crying eyes

Why can't anyone help me?
Why can't I just be free?
Why do I have to experience these?
All I wanted was just peace

Why am I not in love with life anymore?
Like my young self used to before
Why am I feeling hopeless?
Can I just have some rest?

Drowning in thousand thoughts
While laying alone in a foam
And just like a lost astronaut
I'm trying to find my way back home

Suddenly, a voice came out
She was saying something about
A gentle and warm sound
Feels like a magic that I found

She knew my doubts
She heard my silent shouts
She gave me ease
By just saying these

"You always kept on asking
But there are reasons why these are happening
Universe does knows everything
Just believe in its timing

You have to be sad sometimes
You will experience many emotions in a lifetime
You won't also cry forever
But the prettiest waterfall pours unending water

And sometimes, not everyone can help you
You have to help yourself, too
And don't worry, you will be free
Just keep on going and you will see

And yes, you have to experience everything
Someday, you'll see yourself glowing and glowing
I am very proud of you
For always choosing to continue

I hope you'll fall in love with life once more
Because there are still a lot to explore
You can have rest for a while
And continue again with a smile"

Every words were like magic in the air
She said these words with so much care
And maybe.... maybe, she was right
I just have to hold on tight

Someday, I will meet her somewhere
But in that time, I am not in despair
I will make sure to face her blissfully
Because it was my future self who talked to me