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Ryan Unger Nov 2018
Imagine if everyone on Hello Poetry didn't write prose that made us want to **** ourselves?

Boo, hoo. you broke up with someone. Welcome to life.

No one cares. You only hope they do.

You're the reason why people hate poetry. It's stanza after stanza describing how desperate and pathetic you are. How about trying to make people smile and laugh? No, that wouldn't be emotional enough for you.

You want us to know you **** at relationships and you just have to complain about suicides.

boo ******* hoo.

Welcome to life. There's enough sadness involved without you spewing your hopeless drivel about it. Guess how many things are going to change now that you've written a stupid poem about them? Yea, zero.

Learn to make people laugh, not waste everyone's time with your *******.

"I'm deep because I write overly-emotional poetry"

No, you're a waste of everyone's time because you actually think they give a **** about your problems. Everyone has their own problems. You're not special.

But, maybe you think you're special because you belong to Hello Poetry.

Maybe, write another poem about it. Trust us, no one cares.

:)
Ryan Unger Oct 2016
******, ****** on my lip;
You itchy little reddish blip.
You come and go just as you please,
O, how I wish to rid ******.

What is it about my face,
That you would want to bring disgrace?
You hide behind the name “coldsore,”
But your just ******…nothing more.

Wheres MYpes, and HISpes, and what about YOURpes?
Why does it always have to be ******?
Ointments and creams, the hell just won’t end!
O no! My herpe just grew a friend!

There’s two of them now! What do I do?
Well, here’s something I know to be very true:
That sharing is caring; that’s what they say,
So kiss me and let’s share my ****** today!
Ryan Unger Aug 2015
“Stop picking on me, please, just leave me alone;
I’ve done nothing to you, I’m just trying to go home.
You might think it’s funny, the kind of clothes I wear,
But I don’t understand why you would even care.

So what if I wear thick glasses because I need help to see,
Because I see clearly you’re someone I hope I’ll never be.
Every time you call me ‘stupid,’ that really hurts me too,
Trust me, you would feel the same if it was said to you.

I might be small and might be weak but that is no excuse,
My body size is something that I just did not choose.
I know I like to spend recess escaping into my books,
It’s unfair that when I try to smile you give me ***** looks.

The bruises on my arm you gave still are black and blue,
I really wish you could see yourself through my point-of-view.
School is a place that I should be able to learn and have fun,
But you took that joy away from me and now I’m left with none.

I don’t have many friends and I feel I don’t fit in,
My whole life I’ve fought a losing battle and for once I’d like to win.

My home life is very hard, and my parents fight each day,
They tell me they don’t love me and they wished I’d go away.
I have nobody I can talk to, and it makes my cry at night,
I hoped school could pull me from my darkness and finally show me light.

So please, I beg you, leave me be, I feel fragile and distraught,
Because you don’t know a thing about the battles that I’ve fought.”
Ryan Unger Jun 2015
I was hungry, so I went to the deli to eat,
And it wasn’t a far walk, just right down the street.
My stomach was excited, as I threw open the door,
But immediately I thought, “This decision was poor.”

Behind the counter stood a man who looked like a freak,
With pockmarks and moles that made my knees weak.
His mouth was a mess and his teeth, long and mangled,
It’s a mystery that they fit, with the way they were angled.

I was uneasy at first, but decided I’d try,
And maybe It’d turn out he wasn’t a bad guy.
I told him I wanted a BLT:
Bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayo -- really easy.

Well, this guy turned out to be about as smart as a rock,
He proceeded to ruin my sandwich while I stared in shock.
First he grabs the roll, and cuts it in two,
And the two halves were uneven! What’s wrong with you!?

Then he picks up the mayo knife and starts to slather,
And I realize that this guy didn’t even gather
The fact that there’s ketchup all over the knife that he’s using!
I feel like this guy is starting to find this amusing.

Next for the veggies -- the L and T --
Should be simple, but this guy really worried me.
He slaps on the lettuce which is slimy and brown,
This was now a competitor for “Worst Sandwich in Town.”

Time for tomatoes, and I’m feeling scared…
He takes the nasty white end pieces, and throws them on like, “Who cares?”
Then he wraps up the sandwich that he thinks he’s done makin’,
And he hands it to me even though there’s No Bacon!!

So I looked at him straight, and I spoke him these words,
“You can have that back, since it looks as appealing as turds!”

I stormed out the deli feeling nothing but disgust,
And decided that that was the last time I trust
A deli worker who had teeth that didn’t fit his jaw,
And a face that looked like he kissed a bansaw.
Ryan Unger Jun 2015
Here’s an ode to the place that I sleep every night --
My apartment, so small, it can barely fit light.
My bathroom is my kitchen, which is also my bedroom,
And I walk on my knees because there’s a shortage of headroom.

I don’t bring girls home because there’s no room for lovin’,
If we fall off my bed, we’ll end up in the oven.
There’s a cold draft all the time, at least that’s how it feels;
I sleep with my feet out a window, and birds crap on my heels!

I have One Single Light Bulb that dangles over the bed,
And works 10 percent of the time, but it’s usually just dead.
When I cook food I have to make sure that windows are open wide,
Cuz if not, the smoke gets so thick you can’t see inside!

And my smoke alarm is broken, which is actually a good thing,
Cuz if it weren’t, all day long I’d hear that piercing RIIINNGGG!!
My apartment is a disaster! I want back my money!
It’s really depressing even though it sounds funny…

I wanna find the landlord, that cheapskate disgrace,
And in lieu of next month’s rent, give him a slap him across the face.
Ryan Unger Jun 2015
You make me breakfast, and I’ll make you lunch;
Bring me a flower, and I’ll bring you a bunch.
Walk with me a step, and I’ll travel with you a mile;
Every time you laugh I fall in love with your smile.
Sail in my boat, and I’ll fly in your plane;
You’re like the sunshine that’s dries up my rain.
Write me a letter, and I’ll sing you a song;
We knew our love could never be wrong;
Give me a hug, and I’ll give you a kiss;
Each second I'm with you is nothing but bliss;
Make me a promise, and I’ll swear you an oath;
Give me your hands, and I’ll hold them both.
Ryan Unger Jun 2015
I begged you not to leave, but you packed your things and did it anyway. After you left, the silence that engulfed the room was the loudest thing I had ever heard.
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