If I knew what I know now, then, I wouldn't hold the feeling of regret in my hands everytime someone spoke your name. I wouldn't have let you drive away without you knowing that you're leaving someone who loves you. If I knew what I know now, then, this feeling of "what if" would not be a soundtrack playing in the background every time I miss you. I shouldn't have to miss you, but I also couldn't have made you stay. Sometimes I wish that you would have shown me that you felt the same way.. but the smiles from across the room never lasted quite long enough. I wanted to tell you that night we sat on my mother's couch, but then I asked myself if I was ready to watch you leave and the answer was always no. I wanted to tell you when we sat on my porch and watched the cars drive by as the sun set over my little neighborhood. The birds would have heard it and the sun would have given its last drops of light to my words... but they stayed locked onto my tongue and never made their way out. If I knew what I know now then, I would have written you a letter instead.
The words I love you come bearing too much weight, I have never been strong enough to risk slipping them through my clenched teeth because I always thought you would respond with a goodbye. If I knew what I know now, then, I would shot a gun at my fear and let the words spill like honey onto my lips.

Maybe you would have kissed me and tasted it.