Tock. The voice in white faded within those last words. Did you realize then, truly, that not only sticks and stones hurt? As those words dragged you into the depth of its gravity, as they transformed into a constant reminder, within your shadow, as an echo. An echo that shall linger in your ears drumming… Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
No. Deny! Who are you lying to? Tell me That’s right you cant Because it’s yourself And did those seconds become the third helping of a bite you never wanted to taste? Not only is that pill tough to swallow, but also that pill was hollow. A time bomb, exploding those seconds away. That hollowness clutching within its womb; only silence and sad music to soothe your existence. Those seconds that you now want back, that were so dismissively spent on a bad moment.
Where is it gone? It only just started You orphaned by life, still existing, a memory waiting to happen. And yet is still hasn’t happened And it wont Maybe I'm wasting my young years Maybe I'm wasting my young tears Maybe I'm not.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The seconds keep ticking They keep ticking. They keep going. But where? Too late, they’re gone They are planted deep in your mind a constant reminder you are not using them well What does this do? Causes you-urges you to use them even worse Because what’s the worst thing you can do? Come on you know this one… Nothing.
Tick. Eventually it hits you, like a bad memory. No like the feeling you get deep in your stomach when you are about to fall Those few seconds in the air But s l o w e r For minutes For days For years The white voice weighed down by the words it uttered to countless similar souls, has simmered inside you, condensed and made a depression in you.
Why you? You didn’t ask for this! And yet you still got it. Maybe its because you didn’t ask at all Maybe that’s because you cant You are the only one going through this People surround you, who are continuing life. Continuing life to reclaim a little sanity you lost months ago
What is sanity? san-it-y |ˈsanitē| noun The ability to think and behave in a normal and rational manner; sound mental health. What is rational? This? You hear it now. Slow. Steady. And Loud. And Wise. Did time become the definition of life? Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. I know you hate the truth Like it’s all splayed and waiting Wait. What is the truth? I can’t tell you Because you don’t know Confusion and perplexity have propagated in your mind In every tear you shed In every cell in every nail you bite Answer me! You’re the only one who contemplates a typo in a love letter Watches out for the solitary man booing in an interminable horde of supporters.
Just go to sleep. You’re tired Are you? Did ‘you’re tired’ become the embodiment of futility that harbors ‘could’ve, would’ve, should’ve Trying to settle in as a memory of the future Waiting to be regretted Stop! Why are you consoling yourself? Because it’s easier than fallacious merriment? Because it feels desirable? Because no one else will. Tick.
i wrote this at 2am when my head was pounding and my hands were shaking and my life was breaking