i laugh at the irony
that love broke my heart.

she is the ruins
broken
and cracked
demolished
and destroyed
but
there is a reason
people stop
and stare
because through all
the damage
she is still
so
completely
breathtaking

how is it that
all you have to do is look at me
with those brown eyes
and smile
with those dimples
and i just fall back
into your trap
only to be left alone again

i said i don't know if i believe in soulmates
and you told me that you believed in me and you.

you liked to fix things
so i broke myself for you

fingertips press
against my skin.
they are calloused
and gentle and
slow moving as if
they are trying
to engrave
the outline of me
into their mind
forever.
trails of heat
are left in their wake,
lines of fire
beginning to spark.
the dim sunlight
of morning
casts between the slots
of the broken blinds,
falling on us.
one ray of light
falls over the side
of your face,
over one eye.
the brown looks
like it is glowing,
specks of dark
surrounding your iris
to the depths
of your pupil.
your eyes —
one glowing
and one hidden
by the shadows —
are fixated on me.
my gaze feels frozen
as it settles onto you
and i don't understand
how you can have the power
to make me feel
both frozen
and inflamed
all at once.
my breath catches
in my throat
as i wonder
what i did
to become so lucky
to be in
this spot
next to you.
as we wake up
and lay here in silence,
waiting for one
to break and make
the first move
to start the day.
but i would be
perfectly okay
laying here
forever
but i know
we have to leave
and i will spend my day
thinking about
being in this exact spot
until it comes again.

do not let them tell you
that you are a work in progress

you are a never ending masterpiece

the silence between us
is so loud
it's almost deafening

stop me from
d                        
r                  
o          
       w          
    n
            i
                 n
                        g

keep me from falling
                           a
                      p
               a
        r
  t

carry me
h
o
m
e.

i find peace
that i can share my thoughts with you.

thank you beyond words.

i am scared of not being important to you.

i don't think you realize
that you hold
the thread
and needle
that keeps my heart
together.

you feel like
relief

i can't
even look
towards the east
when you rise
because i know
it will hurt

and i can't
even look
towards the west
when you set
because i know
it will hurt

but
somehow
i can't manage
to live
without you.

we both found each other
without really looking
but the tragedy of it is
we were both the right people
at the wrong time
if only
we had stumbled across each other
a little bit sooner

do you ever think about what we could have been?

you are one person out of over 7 billion
and can take one second out of the day
to give the most subtle touch
or say one simple sentence
and these minuscule fragments
can change the entire world around me

i have been dragging along
through these months
but your lips taste like
everything i have been missing out on

isn't it so special
when someone
let's you see
the beautiful mess
that is going on
inside of their mind

i like to pretend
that i am strong
that i know how to handle sadness
but i really don't.
i am so lost.

i crave to be able
to be vulnerable with you.
to peel my skin apart,
unravel my brain,
and allow you to see
everything inside of me
without having to worry
if you only want the best parts of me.

i can't explain it
and i don't know if
it's just because i can't understand it
or if it's just one of those things
that exists in this universe
that is too complex
and too extraordinary
for the mind to comprehend

i need to be alone, i tell you
and you say that i dont mean that
because you are scared to let me breathe
and realize that it is oxygen i need to survive
and not you, the poison filling my lungs

you are so beautiful
i hate
how the world
destroys you

we are all
a little broken
and there will be
moments in life
that make all the
heartache
worth having,
because pain
and suffering
make the outcome
that much more
of an accomplishment

i have just bloomed
and i am already wilting away

i never knew
it was possible
for someone to
hold the power
to make me feel
my highest
and my lowest
at the flick of a wrist.

you forgot to bury me after you killed me
and for that my heart will not rest

do not
leave me alone here
no matter how much
i tell you to go

i have
taught myself
to believe
that you are worth
every ounce
of heartache
and every ounce
of pain
that you
have cast upon me
and now
i must dig
myself out
of this hole
that i have
created.

i am pulled
with your current
and every time
i think i am close to shore
you lure me back in
and my feet stop touching
the ground once again.

it always feels
like the
end of the world
when you look
away from me
to look over
at her.

your touch set me on fire
but i realized too late
that i was engulfed in flames -
burning alive
and you were not there
to extinguish me

sometimes we will drown
forgetting that our feet can touch.
remember there is always support
holding you above the water
no matter how far out into the ocean
you may feel.

i really just want you
to be proud of me.

we were like
two doors
on opposite sides of the hall
with a band
connected to each handle
so every time i pulled
you closed
and every time you pulled
i closed
but one day
the band snapped
and our doors were wide open
vulnerable but accepting
and anxious but excited
we saw inside
the deepest parts
that no one had visited before
but i woke up today
and looked
to see
that you'd tied the band
back on both handles
and oh how that hurts
so terribly

i know that
one day
i will be okay
and that
will be the end
of you.

i hope that you grasp those stars
you spent so long reaching for
and i hope
you find what you are looking for
i love you
i miss you,
i'm giving my best.