i stumble over my words now.
it's a fight to wrestle them out of my mouth,
when before the flowed out like a river.

i'm fainter now.
it's a struggle to remember
that my new friends don't find me annoying
and that i don't need to lag behind,
waiting for an invitation.

i'm worse now.
summer is ending and all i have to show
is a quieter me
    a nervous me
    a wish-i-wasn't-here me
    a why-can't-i-just-do-something me

    a second-rate me

jealousy really is a disease, isn't it?

a shame it had to infect me

you caught my eye
i caught your hand

laughter rings out
lacing between our fingers

it's just us us us
and i don't need to ask for anything more

have i run out of words?
because

i

cant
..seem

t o



          fi n d


                                  t
                           h
                                  
                                                    e

                      m

it just takes a second
a sound
a feeling
before i can remember so clearly
what it felt
to be above the clouds
running with the angels
the sun illuminating their golden skin and their golden smiles
to be high on living
each time it stings
each time i wish i was back
each time i know i can’t

but for a moment i can see my golden skin again

your hands left inky marks
on my skin
and i don't have any soap
all i can do is scratch and scratch
but it's still there
it's still there

i made a promise
that i would never miss you
but we're parting ways
and i already feel an ache