She told him once about the flavor of humans.
That he tasted like old leather and empty bottles of whiskey
He told her about ****** knuckles
And how many times she had been on his mind when he got them
She smiled with her teeth showing
Then she walked away from him again
It’s funny all the things that he thought he knew
Like how much sweeter his best friend tasted against her lips
It’s a shame that she never told him
That sugar sometimes makes her sick

If I had to give you a codename,
I would make it steadfast.
You never back down on what you feel is right,
even if I say otherwise.
Our friendship is built on that bedrock;
no matter the earthquakes or storms
it will stay standing.
I know you’ll never leave,
and you know I’ll be there when you need me
and even when you don’t.
We don’t agree on everything,
But one thing is true.
Our lives are better since we came together.
So here’s to whatever life throws at us
because mountains and shadows
are always there when the smoke clears.

We killed the lights and found
the way to each other’s lips like magnets
who had been denied their center of gravity
for awhile. You stripped me down,
measured my sweet spots out in sugar spoons,
and savored me like a treat you hadn’t had
since you were a kid, all the nostalgia
landing on your tongue as you molded me
with your hands. My ribs pushed back then pulled
again, like bread, underneath the covers.
You whispered my name like a song
you can’t let yourself forget the words to.
I followed the map of your neck with my kisses,
retracing my steps as we danced in my bed
to the familiar sound of a tiny fan
and the TV turned down low, the light
making shadows on your cheeks as the screen
changed, my eyes dodging them just to capture
a clearer image of the face I dreamed
and dreamed of again. You know my body

like a monologue, writing me all the way through,
smiling at your favorite parts, and every time
I fall into this routine I hope that maybe
this ending is different, maybe you’ve decided
to rewrite the last page. Maybe I won’t have to look back
at our sour memories, maybe this time
we will leave the bookmark in the same spot
and kiss each other through all those times we said
it had been too long.

He was cute. His baby face cheeks
were highlighted in the soft yellow glow
of the stage lights before the performance began.
He had on a blue sweater, almost too blue,
with khaki’s I’m sure his mom bought him.
But he smiled at me, constantly, before the lights dropped
while I was pretending to read my program.

Across the theater, he blushed, biting his lips
when he realized I caught him. He was cute.
I think I’ve said that already.
But he was no you.

And can you imagine how guilty, no
how stupid I felt in that moment?
Can you imagine how my heart
must have looked sitting between my heels
on the linoleum floor? Imagine all the pieces
trying to force themselves back together enough
just to smile back at this boy across the aisles.

I’m so done feeling like I’m cheating on someone
who isn’t even answering my calls. I’m done
begging myself to stop cuddling with that bear
you gave me last Valentine’s Day. Can you imagine
the actor I’ve become? Fixing myself up in eyeliner
and turtleneck sweaters that hug me a little too tight
just to seem like I still have it together. I’m just like
those dancers in Cabaret. I’m putting on a show,
smiling at the boy across the aisles, hoping you’re
in the audience, watching me shine.

They say the world is running out of oxygen
So that gives me more motivation to breathe yours in.

Poetry
stops
the brain
and starts
the heart.

i should have held you just a little bit closer.*
-k.v.

"It's meaningless,"
says the Reason.*
And Love says:
*"It is, what it is."