membranes bleed in classic fashion
seep into my brain with passion
pump my heart with fuel and tension
feeling like a villains henchman

******* baby, how did i know?
one more chance to powder my nose
i see whiter than the snow
and i dont know how far i can go

mr rogers asks for entry
everything gets past the sentry
powdered sugar makes me antsy
for whatever suits my fancy

im too focused for my brain
all the colours look the same
bow to gods that i dont need
if it'll cause my nose to bleed

******* baby, how did i know?
one more chance to powder my nose
i see whiter than the snow
and i dont know how far i can go

******* baby, how did i know?
one more chance to powder my nose
i dont know how you could appose
i'll just lay here taking several blows

i need you cause i want you bad
the sweetest girl i've ever had
is whiter than the winter's snow
i love it when she's in my nose

oh, i've been told to get in line
that my whole lifes a waste of time
but i've got everything i need
as long as i can do the deed

******* baby, how did i know?
one more chance to powder my nose
i see whiter than the snow
and i dont know how far i can go

******* baby, how did i know?
one more chance to powder my nose
hardly straight, no arrows bow
an early start for whole new lows

Tonsils set aflame
I can't complain
I've only got myself to blame

Pen to page, my pointless proverbs
Kettles on, forgot the water
Wasted time is wasted space
Letdown, seems its all it takes
Clean the *** and purify
Only me, myself and lies
Canopy of granule paste
Gagging on the rancid taste
Chorus warbles into gain
Amplified the great white plain
Stale thoughts of how and why
Leave my memories mystified
Boiled river's steaming stew
Bubbles deep inside of you
Cankers soar across my lips
Leading these into abyss
Candy coated carmine stain
Sway the crowd to your disdain
Pen to page, my pointless proverbs
Dont know why I even bother

Cronenburglars stole my world
For the love of pretty girls
Cross dimentions, time and space
Somewhere that I have no face

Master what is thy command?
Tell me of your righteous plan
Bring to me the cattle's spore
You do this and nothing more

If you wish to spare his life
You must make a sacrifice
Dont you worry 'bout your wife
We'll make sure she sleeps tonight

Viscera comes raining down
Every city, every town
Diseases spread and do enlist
The pirates of the pancreas

Take me through your portal
Make me feel immortal
Student turns to teacher
Otherworldly creatures
Bureaucratic robots bleed just like you and me
If you're seeking answers I will give you eyes to see

woke today, with an ache in my head
seems to me, i’d be better off dead
it’s safe to say, the candle’s burning at both ends
ive ceased to pay, these consequential dividends

i know ive made the same mistake a million times
but if i have a hangover it’ll be all mine

I've got a rubberface
Rubber arms, rubber taste
The sloshing pit I make
Does more harm than I take
Peel my eyes one layer deep
And fry the slivers up to keep
I weep, a creature feeds the creep
What you perceive is just skin deep
Crusty crisps of cornea
Sell big in California
But I must warn ya,
What you see is more than bargained for ya
Limping gait on limp old limbs
Swollen canister to rim
Go with him, a restless whim
Bare witness to a songless hymn

im a second rate ****
down on my luck
teenaged angst hits
with the force of a truck
and i realize
im so ******* contrived
im no good with a pen
theres no light in my eyes
i couldnt care less
how i look, how i dress
but your critical manner
makes you seem so obsessed
just shut the **** up
im down on my luck
and i'll knock you down
with the force of a truck

do i matter enough for my death to be an art piece?
will i just be one of 3,600?
what matters more, life or death?

cant have one without the other
like a child and a mother
so **** yourself just like your brother
and give thanks for one another

bring me some ******* clarity
                                                      do i matter?
                                                         ­                    or was i just inspiration
for a poem about how many boys loved and lost you?

                                     DO I EVEN ******* MATTER?!

im lost with no foundation
and im drowning on my own two feet
if its any consolation
it makes it really hard to breathe
i cant even think of you
without it bringing back the pain
of when i mattered
and the drugs
and i
just mingled in your brain

i called you in california
talked until the sun came up
and now your life is figured out
it feels our past is all made up

until i really meet you, friend
i guess i'll never truly know
was i an object of amusement
or the pain that helped you grow?

calloused hearts and bleeding fingers
harmony only achieved by sacrifice
the pure must stain their porcelain shells
and the broken
will scatter the ashes
the springtime brings new birth
as the flowering genesis of uterine obsession
but black boots and harsh words
may destroy this new beginning

in life and death dichotomy
wandering nomadically through purgatory
searching for contentedness
and rejuvenating rebirth
only to find myself further imprinting
old footsteps
from past and present life

I feel the splintering shatter,
my heart breaking as the words leave your mouth,
cutting,
bruising,
burning me,
far worse than I could ever inflict on myself,
eating away at me,
from the inside out,
so I try to release it from me,
by freeing the pain through a **** in my wrist,
knowing that it will never truly leave me,
and awaiting the very next night,
another cut,
another bruise,
another burn,
trying to remove the everlasting pain

I'm drenched in the stench of yesterday
And flies circle my head
I'm stale
I'm mouldy
I hold no value
Hair coated in grease
Dirt under my nails
No reason to expell any effort
Laying in self pity and dispair
My scabbed over wrists bring back memories
To last night
Which I still reek of

mud slinger
skeeballing on the window
pulled artificial hair growth
climbing over nothing
toothpick pantyhose
brought another one down
wonder how so
caught a big one in a dental floss-noose
any other time wont be the right one
wrinkled lifespan sizzles in the saucepan
chewed bone drops
tell alice "bite me"
cold and weathered toys still work nicely

i dont understand why i let you confess
all the things i’d inevitably contest
i cannot explain why i can feel so stressed
my emotions are so still, ungrown, repressed

you only let me hurt myself
these wounds secure your place in hell

you can only show the things you loathe, detest
shrink me down to what you understand, success
my explosive temper is a second guess
under my control, suggestion, hate, detest

all my friends are dead
to me
to the world

whatever, they're all dead in someones eyes

i'll **** myself in the eyes of the world
i'll **** myself in my own eyes

but i could never end my life in the eyes of my friends

plant the seed
beget the tree
protect the greed
neglect the free
comprised of thoughts
of two, rest, see
reprised and taught
idolatry

a chromatic eye now strips me
how long will we see it this way?
that which we acquired quickly
it trickles down day by day

i know that a movement ripples
i know that a payment trickles down
i know that a little by little
the ceiling will come crumbling down

silence sight
eyelids, translucent
terrestrial extras exhumed
reveling in revival
planting placid plateaued plates
herd-conformity in place of fascism

enter the beast

on the flip side of 50/50
unjust equals harbor resentment
clipping thorns to spite the roses
sunbeams encased and entangled
misguided light
might travel, through night
harrowed neo-liberalism
clusterfucked hippies into redundancy

"can you feel it now? **** im high"

conform to eradicate conformity
individually divided
arguably arrogant
and surely surreal

i cant enjoy this
i wish i could

but every time i finish
i wish i had never started

my nail beds
are a bed of nails

****** and painful
and entirely unenjoyable

Swine breed tapeworms
Filth and leech
Creatures lay firm what they teach
Mindless kindness makes you weak
Go now, turn the other cheek

Mother, choose who lives and dies
Weaker kin must lose their lives
Only one queen bee per hive
Only one can life survive

look into my eyes
and tell me what you see
now feel the pain from everything
you've ******* done to me
just like a deep sea dive
its a pressure that wont end
if i ever reach the surface
i'll still end up with the bends
i'm drowning in the drink
while i'm choking on the stink
i'm kept up every night
bleeding in the kitchen sink
so every time you see me
passing by from day to day
i hope you recognize my eyes enough
to know i'm not okay

Clairvoyance to the point of insanity,
Insistance upon peace of mind,
Look past your charade of vanity,
Its okay to say you're not fine,
You've heard of this thing we call heartache,
Its something you know better than most,
You say it was only a mistake,
But you're crying the tears of a ghost,

i feel like someone else
i cant remember
though these bones paint a picture
that i know i've seen before

i can see, curiously
all the fallen leaves beneath my feet say,
"hey, i've got a real big thing to show you"

i'm lookin through the trees
and they're talkin back to me
they're sayin things that show me how it needs to be
and i'm lookin into me
i’m seeing things i dont quite understand
but i'll be ******, if i dont dig deeper

i feel like somewhere else
it seems so familiar,
and with the breath of a dragon
when the wheel of a wagon
gets a turnin dont ya know the world just keeps goin' round

i'm lookin through the trees
and they're talkin back to me
they show me why to question, who i seem to be
and i'm falling into me
and feeling things i cant quite comprehend
but in the end, it'll all come back to me

i've lost more people than i realized i had to lose

Floored
Box-spring
Table sugar don't look the same
But the nose knows no bound
Bounty
Hunted
Need a hit, smack,
whatever
Don't care hit me

Needahitneedahitneedahit its my fault
Iggy pop rock
***** of speed

Intravenous **** throw a party body's just a  canvas for splatter usurp a twerp and burp
hairy don't mean unkempt just a choosy bide hang low
Sell sell sell don't use sell use use use use use
Give up start over swimmin

sorry ma'

And to my own dismay I've hunkered myself
Into a lonely little corner where I keep to myself
Cause everyone that I befriend can only think of themself
So this ones going out to you guys are you still in good health?
Do you miss your little friend that you could keep on the shelf
Until you started having problems and you needed some help?
Go **** yourself, you're just a bunch of ****** two faced snakes
I'll drain enough blood from your body to fill two great lakes
I'll take a hockey stick and ******* in the *** til it breaks
And pull it out so fast your ******* will just quiver and gape
You think that mouthing off to me wasn't your biggest mistake?
I'll strap a cattle to a pair of stilts, I'm raising the stakes
I'm gonna desecrate you, decimate you, I'm a ******, Norman Bates
I'll cut you up real small and send a piece of you to every state
Congratulations, salutations, glad your life's so ******* great
I would catch up but I'd much rather sit at home and *******

i want to bleed until i'm beautiful

the more my life flows from the rips in my flesh
the closer i'll be to the only way i can be pretty

i want you to love me like a cassette tape

passionately and wholly, burning in your soul
until the tape unwinds
and you have no more use for me
use me up, and spit me out, baby

i want to cry myself to death
i want to scream and bellow and wail until there's no sound left
no more tears to cry
no more whimpers to squeak out
and the anguish is so much i can feel it in my bones
and i lay there dry heaving, my stomach sore and my eyes puffy and red

                                                and i look at myself
                                                       you pathetic ******* coward
                                                               real men dont ******* cry
                                                                       cover your arms, boy.
nobody wants to see that ****.

i want to die, you ******* idiot. there's nothing beautiful about that.

Black sky, open wide
God is dead, crucified
Screaming death, rotten lies
Learning how it feels to die

Dope fiends crawl to ******’s smack
Got my black tar leavin’ tracks
Spoon and needle of the horse
Numb my feelings of remorse

Across your face, the lines entrenched
Secreting corpse, bitter stench
Bleed to death on this park bench
My stomach now begins to wrench

Touch the bruise, lick the wound
Pick the scab, become attuned
There's no need to be afraid
Everyone dies
Anyway

scabby matted hairy patch
sour incandescent colour
crabby splattered scary ******
our adolescent mother

sores are sordid, sold and scorched
broken out in carmine stain
***** implores on my front porch
smokin' bouts of welcome pain

beaten, broken, ****** and used
spanking, pulling, thrusting, please
me, i want to be abused
**** me and fulfill my needs

I was never at your mercy
                                       Your guns were never aimed at me

in sadness i find my comfort
the familiarity of sorrow keeps me moving
maybe not at quite as fast a pace
but moving nonetheless

in cigarettes i find my comfort
as i light one after another
remembering how you tasted
when we were addicted to us

in the razor i find my comfort
when the sharp steel blade is pressed to my skin
opening, splitting, cutting, bleeding
i say "you deserve this, you deserve all of this"
i drain my wrists of my sorrows

in violence i find my comfort
i cannot allow myself to display weakness
so i turn my pain and anxiety to blind rage
smashing and splintering and screaming
my knuckles ******* hurt but thats okay

in sadness i find my comfort
its the only thing that's stayed
through it all
just me
my cigarettes
my razor
my violence
and my beautiful, wonderful
sadness

Freedom by the merchant hand
I don't expect you'll understand
Got my ticket waded
Pass and pocket
Try and knock it
Zoning so I lose control
**** like this just dont get old
Can you feel it come now?
Talking so loud
Standing so proud

Would you give it to yourself?
Would it get you feelin alienated?
Or would it be the only thing that makes you come to?

Grown up in a smaller town
Had no way to get around
Then I caught that 8 ball
Hit the white wall
Brace for the fall

Would you give it to yourself?
Would it get you feelin complicated?
Or would it be the crystal that brings you your clarity?

I haven't slept in 24 hours
I'm almost out of cigarettes
My head is ******* pounding
I miss you

Swollen eyes
Porcelain thighs
Mesmerise
Timid guise

You are the one
Who clears my eyes
Who heals my brain
Who calms my mind

Forgo the steps
And **** the lines
Unlike the rest
They're all so blind

Correct the source
Maintain your high
And be the only thing worth holding in my sky

Yeah,
You guessed it,
I ****** up again
But by all means don't
Let me ruin your zen
Cause I'm not like you
Don't do the things you do
Don't ******* resist it
When I say ******* too
The way you live life
It's a pitiful wreck
Yes, I know that I'm different
And I'll break your **** neck
I don't care if your mom
Is a **** and a drunk
I don't care if your dad
Has been gone for 6 months
If you push me around
I'll push you right back
But when you're on the ground
****, you can't take it back

You've sold your soul
To the earth or so I'm told
That's pretty bold
For someone 18 years old

Rise and fall
Your sprint has since slowed to a crawl
You've got some gall
To hand me off like old dolls

You're ****** kid
You're so ****** kid
You're so ******* ****** kid