I lost my balance
Cannot stand still
Falling and falling
Against my own will

I cannot see I cannot hear
I cannot smile I cannot disappear
I am broken without my consent
I dont know where all of me went

The emptiness in me
it may never be stilled
with the light of her smile

The emptiness in me
It couldnt be filled
My heart is a black star for a while

To not see, smell, hear, taste or feel.
To completely detach yourself from reality.
To forget everything that happened.
And you wanted to know what I want.

My love is hollow
being a part of my soul
I wish I could take your whole
all of this sorrow

I wanted to be
the blood that keeps you alive
at least until your smile arrives
and my heart still thrives

Because I am just
I need your trust
Not being with you
will make my blood rust

So let me love this voice
I never understood or knew
But I just know that it didnt hurt
Because your words were true

But even though its silent here
You are still my dear
I wanted to give you the love you fear
But now its my burden to bear

Goodbye my heal
In the end it was my fault
I thought I could forgive myself
For you being all I feel.

She smiled
While I killed her
She kept smiling
Because she knew it hurts me more than her

Dizzy
Breathless
I sink into the ground
Like I fell into the cold ocean

Calm and
Silent
My eyes unconscious
Tired at full moon

The lunar eclipse
I started to bath in a red night
It flew out of me
As if I was alive

I thought I was
For once flowing with the earth
But even my blood left
Its home.

I didnt give you poems,
I gave you parts of me.

There is only one way,
Even though I stop walking.

There is something new,
Even though I remember.

There is someone waiting for me,
Even though I look at those who are gone.

There is happiness.
Even though I rather cry.
Frozen in time.
Not moving.

There is freedom,
Even though I lock myself up.

There is a fulfilled life,
Even though it can't be fulfilled.

There is everything,
Even though there is not the thing I want.

There I am,
Even though I regret.
Frozen in time.
Not moving.

There she is,
Even though I am still here...

It painted my hand red
dripping down my arm
at least I know now
why your leaves are red

your thorns made me feel closer
because I felt your emotions
I could feel you in my hand
and I stopped feeling myself

Looking at you, blooming
my hands became numb