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Ollie Bee Apr 2018
It was almost like love,
Almost like your hand fits in my hand perfectly can I call you mine?
No.
It was almost like you’re the one I can phone at 3 a.m,
When the thoughts are bad and the darkness is thick
And I am drowning.
It was almost like drowning
Because your eyes
Are blue like waves that won’t stop breaking over my
Head, they leave my lungs unable to fill with anything that is not
Salt water which is what your skin tastes like.
It was almost like midnight making love and memories
Under stars that were too far away and you;
You are too far away. Too far gone. Too far
Too far from me.
It was almost like love
Almost like unearthly bond
Almost like you are one reality and I am another
But we do not mix so it is always only
Almost
And that’s what hurts the most.
The pain of almost.
Ollie Bee Apr 2018
He smells like stale cigarettes// which isn’t to say he smells bad// it's more to say he smells lonely// like the only comfort he gets is from the smoke that turns his teeth yellow// and his teeth are yellow// or maybe off white// but they drip chocolate from between them anyways// like his bite could be sweetened by a little bit of candy// but they drip dark chocolate// and dark chocolate is bitter// and he is bitter// and he can’t breathe unless his lungs are clouded with smoke// that spills to his heart// his stomach// his throat// he smells lonely, he smells bitter// which isn’t to say he might not be a little sweet// it’s more to say the first taste is more cigarettes than chocolate// the first bite is more smoke than candy// the first love is more bitter than sweet//
about a boy and a love that existed for forever. until it didn't.
Ollie Bee Apr 2018
Sickening thunder in an emptiness
That you cannot quite place.
Shuddering in the parking lot smoking a cigarette almost unable to support yourself,
Your father looks at you with melancholy eyes
Tear stained yet he never cries.
Stricken.
This is not an ocean or waves this is a sinkhole
A sudden tearing of the earth so forceful it knocks it off kilter.
The world feels off
Something is missing from us.
Letters from his family that will no longer have his name on them and people are never gone
Only lost.
Like you and me.
Grief.
A sudden loneliness that never existed before
A different strain of loneliness for every person that ceases to exist in this reality.
"I miss you" sounds horrific because this type of missing requires never coming back.
Please, come back.

— The End —