i  envy your pillow
it lets you
rest your head on it
while i can't

i envy your cup,
it kisses your lips
tasting yours,
while i just stare at it,

i envy your blanket
it covers your skin
it touches every bit of you
while i can't

i envy your clothes
it touches your skin
every corner of it
every flaw
while i'm sitting here
typing this

Oh how things have changed.
I used to bury my face in your jacket,
Now I miss your smell.
The flavor of longing has left a dismal taste in my mouth.
  
Oh the times we had,
Playing in the fruit trees.
It brought me a feeling I cant have back.
Looking at that black and white picture of us;
I miss you even more.

And the last time I saw you,
I swear the tears where near.
Because betrayal is a punch to the heart.
I cant take this anymore.

There is an emptiness within,
It's thicker than this March snow.
Because you left me so fast,
And I cant take this anymore.

you love him
you love his smooth hands and his rough cheek
you love your hands in his denim shirt
and the cinematography of you together
everything else is an afterthought

the knife in his eyes that is not always pointed at you
but when it is
you kiss the fist that rattles plates
the lips that wrap around clenched teeth
melt him

fail to understand his poison tipped arrows
that are aimed at the mother who threw bottles
if he could only pick one more fight it'd be with his father
you kiss him when he knocks his brother's teeth out

he leaves in the morning for coffee and comes back a day later
welcome him with open arms and abundant questions
he will be a tower of irritation and concrete
he will point fingers that will curl into fists
but they are not fists for you
they are for the devils that dance within him
and behind his wild eyes
and in his childhood home

you will not be fooled
he loves you
you know by every sweetheart and the lips on your forehead and the way he smells in between the sheets each night

he leaves
he comes back
purple flowers that bloom around his eyes are the bouquets he brings home for you
the front porch sags when he puts his hands in his pockets
his face buried in your chest
on nights when the lamp swings a little too low
and his body is wracked with sobbing and shoulders shaking

he mourns the gentle temper he never had
he mourns what he would be like without you
he mourns what you would be like without him
this is how he loves you

your hands in his hair easing soothing shh shh
you are the mother who left
you are better than every last ex-girlfriend
for reasons he will be happy to name
this is how you love him

you came because you are drawn to the shipwrecks
but you stayed in the water for him
ancient child
furious soul
you salt his wounds
and then you clean them
this is how you love him

Some days I feel I will drown in my own melancholy. Swallowed up by the need for elegance. Waves of thought silently crashing into me.

WE ARE OFF TO THE MOON
Have you booked your holidays yet?
Because we are off to the moon.
Mum found a very good deal at the shop
And we blast off Tuesday afternoon.
Dad’ll be shocked when we tell him
I wonder just what he’ll say?
We have some organising to do
And Mum will have to go and pay.
Dad’ll freak when he knows the cost
He will have one massive fit.
Mum said she will tell him gently
So perhaps he will come round a bit.
When he found out he went a bit mad
Shouting that we all cannot go there.
Searching in his wardrobe
Explaining that he had nothing to wear.
Mum said it was too late, it had been paid
We are all going to the moon
Nothing can be done about it now
And we blast off Tuesday afternoon.