I know you did horrible things to my body
Before you killed me
Why do you ask my ghost to comfort you
Have you not burdened my soul enough
We are all afraid of being understood
Being known
Then we are powerless
We cannot play these games
If you **** the other players
Who is the winner
You would break me
Take my beautiful pieces
To complete yourself
They will rot in your body
With the stench of guilt
Odor of revenge
I do not exist
In relation to your hunger
I have shut you away
Before you would dare to consume me
I will not satiate
Will not sedate
Not stumble over my words
Unless mine is the last voice you hear

My name tasted sweetest in your mouth
Why did you turn your head and spit it out
My kisses slipped down on your cheeks
You my scornful lover turned me away
So the night fades now into the past
I will not call for you to return to me Nothing but broken love and trust hurts like this
Your guilt will follow you like a shadow
My name will be found in my own mouth
to sing into the light what you could not
How could I expect you to cherish my heart
When you yourself my friend, did not have one to share

Forgiveness is a powerful thing

to much tomorrow to deal with today

I have no pride to swallow
Choke on my tongue
Larva in my mouth
These are not my hands
Is your spirit really here
Or simply passing through
Are you making fear
Pulling up hairs
On the back of my neck
Is that your presence I sense
Manifestation of nightmares

I told you
Not to come
Here you are
Here I am
The one who cannot leave

You knew of my binding
Spit in my face just the same
I can forgive anything
I dare not forget
Skies are open now
Stone tablets broken
You should have written
Promises on your hands
Then you would have kept them

I am not the string
Around your finger
A reminder of promises
A circulation of inconsistency
Set me free

There are those in the world
That will try to take the best parts of you away
Like a flower plucked from the earth
Such as soon as it blooms it is cast aside
Be not that way
Dig your roots within the earth
Turn your face to the shining of the sun
Because you are the beautiful things
This world needs

We talked about being buried one day
Letting weeping willows grow
From our carcass and ashes
We were summer once
Under the stars
Two bodies terrified of being cold
Pressing themselves into the earth
They will not bury us yet
Though we whisper of our own attempts
We opened our minds under the stars
Our hands intertwined
Constellation thoughts
Milky way minds
I saw you
Though perhaps not as you always appear
The self is a shadow
And you passed across my moon

You ghost write my life
And now my bones are haunted
You were the demons in the dark
And now I am just a possession

i could live my whole life outside of the lines
i could run as far and as fast as i can
inside the double yellow
racing to catch up with the sun

Open air hangs between us
A bitter cloud
Your hands could slice through
Fingers, freshly sharpened blades
Your words cut
As they are spoken
I cried once
You said you had never seen
Eyes so blue with ice
So bright with fire
So void of hope
I tell you I am drained
I pour my waters
Over the cliffs of time
Into your cupped hands
Are you waiting for me
Or waiting for me to leave
I prayed to my old gods
For you before
I fear they did not give me
Wisdom or strength
Shutting my third eye
To the appearance of truth
The glass of transparency
Is not a mirror
The shadow that is your name
Written in the sky
Casting it's hollows down
These are not stratocumulus
Not nimbus
Not shapes we know
Not the silver lining
We prayed for you
I went to the well to draw water
Why do I still know thirst

You told me you knew what love was
Yet even the bones of your house are cold
You lie with your tongue between your teeth
I cannot wonder how you sleep at night

and maybe we all
                              relapse
                                         regress

fall back into what we were

while still
              desperately
                                clinging


to whom we think we are now

and maybe it is all in
                                   futility
                                              or
                                                  weakness

but that is okay

because things done in the struggle of
                                                                  darkness

may be worth more recognition

that those
                 done
                         in the light
                                             of day

what you cannot see changing

has no
           reflection

on the value of that change

My vanity a cup
Not a drop in it
My pride will not let me pour that much of myself out
I lost to much before
To give up even a taste now

It brings tears to my eyes
That you love the words of a broken heart so
So much

Who am I to say that I'm alive
I felt close to death before
Pulled nearer and nearer
I have slipped away since then
Fear for the end, and
Reality of life
May charge their forces
With no avail against me
What will sway me
When I have seen the end
And made a new beginning

To hold hands with your mind
As time gave a kiss to your cheek
Everything
Even the beginning of the end of the world
It's just
-so cold
Yet we don't try to light fires
We just
-break hearts
Break ourselves
And try to walk around with casts around our chests
And gauze falling out our ears
Because people say things that make our eyes cry
But oh do they make our minds weep
-and wail
Somehow through all of this
-this everything
The "so much"
We are just so ****** empty
-so ******
So so empty
It eats us out from the core
To the husk of our words
Biting into the back of our throat
Just to get
- a taste
Of soul

Having a soul
And acting so ******* soulless
That's your favorite pastime
It really does
- pass time
Unfortunately its past time

My feet will walk me through the iron wrought gates
I'll lay in my own grave
My desperation lowering me into the earth

Finally.

Something to claim me
-hold me
It won't let go

The gates care nothing for your regrets
And I care to much
If only I was as iron in my retribution
As the doors between us

Will there be more words to come?
Or are these enough?
Will there be more heart break to come?
Because I think I have had enough.

Do you ever isolate yourself?
And then wonder inside your heart
Why you feel so ******* alone?
And it hurts so much.
I can bear it but I don't want to.

We just set our clocks for the day
And hope that the nighttime
Doesn't drip right into our eyes
As quickly as the day is unwound

In the end
The maybes never matter

I handed over my scars and my blades
One at a time

I told you to be careful
Knowing me is like walking on crushed glass

You bleed and survive
But you won't be the same kind of alive

Don't want to be clingy
But so infused in your words

I can't get enough
Just let me go now

I'll get over it
Move on, cry out my heart

And as always I will leave behind
The best part

My subconscious hangs in the atmosphere
Betting, pondering
If in time you will shed your layers
If your gentleness will slip
Like a mask
This would not be the first time
I perceive chaos for calmness
I prayed for it
Perhaps I should have begged
Whispered my barters to God
Leaned into his ears and pleaded
My pride will not be my downfall again
I am not too wise
I have played the fool before
I know the role well
I wrote it

The rustle of leaves
Makes me restless
Sleep, you tell me, will soon be here
I say I cannot stay to wait
Running is my jacket
And leaving my footsteps
The door is swinging in the wind
I will follow the feathers the birds leave as they journey south
A way to go
Is a way made by those gone before

I don't want to make things
If they're just going to fall apart
I don't want to love things
If they're just going to break my heart
Is this how God saw the world
At the beginning of created time
Making moving plates in the earth
Just so we would cross the line

I have questions for you
Wondering where you keep
Small fireworks
That jump between our skin
When we are not one

You are not Fourth of July
You are not Christmas
Or birthdays or holiday
You are the first day after a long winter
When I turn my face to the sun
Remembering her warmth
Remembering there is comfort

Keep your name
It is gentle
The way it rolls off my tongue
Soft summer rain on glass
No one will say it like I do
But I will beg them to try

If you knew me once
You will never be lonely again
I am with you
I am part of you
The pieces of you in me
I will keep company
I will speak to them
I will cherish

When our souls danced
It was small magic
Big lights
Burning up the sky
I do not care
That one day
All the stars will fall to the earth
They will not burn as brightly as you and I

These words in the marrow of my bones climb their way out my fingertips
To dance their life-song out on paper
Rather than dying like a kiss on my lips

if i felt a thing
would you still love me as i am

if i felt a thing
please don't run like i think you will

if i felt a thing
would i even admit how raw it was

if i felt a thing
would i even tell you how real it is

i cling to this
with as much of myself as i could dare

i am a heart that has been broken
every day of its life

and i feel to much
to say nothing at all

i am a poet
married to my words and woes and the wonders of the world

so please love me just as i am
the willow that weeps by the stream

I Love You

You can be anything or anyone that you want
But maybe it would suit you best to be everything you are

I just become little granules of sugar and salt as the days go by
Is this is the spice of life
Am I a pleasant flavour
That I would linger apon your lips
So that I may die in your stomache
That I would be tasted as a kiss
For but one breath of your life

We grow
We change
There are more blessings
Beyond today

I allow nothing in my life to be shallow
I cannot help but wonder
If you are honest with yourself
Are we not aligned
We eclipse, spin into orbit
Ships in the night
Are you in the deep now
Is it too much for you
I will tread with you
I am the current
I am not the shore
I am the mover, the taker, the unfathomable
You are there when I draw near
Though it seems there are places in you
I will never reach, untouchable
Hold your kingdoms as what they are
People and places
Nothing more
I drew in to you
My streams among your surfaces
Nothing more
You have turned me back to the shores
We are nothing more

Stop staying in abusive relationships and situations, just stop.

I have only ever wished to be gentle
And at peace
It has always seemed just out of reach
You never allowed such a thing
So now I shall rage steadily
Against the fading of the light
Spare me your words
I have ached long enough

The world will see me
She will not know me

I always wanted more
Just to give you more
Yet I am torn
There is nothing to me
That I would not give
If I knew you needed it

Maybe
Maybe I was dazed and confused
Or maybe
Just maybe
Maybe it was love

Maybe