Eyes that melt a bad day,
And hold the blues at bay,
Nothing can hold my smile,
When your voice comes after the dial.

Winnie the Pooh is trying to think
As are Plato and Socrates
While The Little Rascals get rambunctious
And The Marx Brothers cause calamities
Jim Jones stirs the Kool-Aid
And Georgie Porgie makes his move
Bo Peep and Miss Muffett start to blush
Red Ridding hood just swoons
The Muffin Man does a deal
With Johnny Apple seed
These beings and people our real
In our Surreal Reality

******* lets the paint splatter
And Moses parts the sea
Belushi buys an eight-ball
Bruce is on trial for obscenity
Rorschach is on the case
Right behind Sherlock Holmes
John the baptist goes for a swim
Along with Brian Jones
Jack and Jill meet Hansel and Gretel
They're hungry, they're thirsty
These figments of imagination do exist
In our Surreal Reality

Rasputin was so evil
As bad as Captain Hook
Now was it ** Chi Minh or Nixon
Who said "I am not a crook?"
Mao Zedong looked at Stalin
With a shared murderous grin
Booth stormed the Ford theater
And shot President Lincoln
Kennedy and King we're both casualties
Of the process of the deciphering
Of our Surreal  Reality

Zeus said to Aphrodite
"Wow, you look real good tonight"
And Handel says "Hallelujah!"
As the Wright Brothers take flight
Baby Face Nelson
Teams up with Dillinger
Moe, Larry and Curly
Mengele, Mussolini and Adolf ******
Three bears, three little pigs
Along with three blind mice
Sit together, while Maurice Sendack
Cooks them chicken soup with rice
Charlie Bucket had a buy out
Wonka gave up his factory
Fiction or nonfiction it's all a apart
Of our Surreal Reality

Chicken Little tried his best
To warm The Little Red Hen
Of the sly trickster
They call Rumpelstiltskin
Rimbaud applauds Leonidas
And his 300's final stand
Da vinci  paved the way
For both Newton and Edison
Folklore and war heroes
And those with intellectual mentality
Are all just pieces
Of our Surreal Reality

Wee Willie Winkie's scream
Wakes up Rip Van Winkle
But not Sleeping Beauty who's been asleep for thirty years
But has no acquired a single wrinkle
Caligula has lost his mind
And Nero's lost his fiddle
What does Beethoven's hearing aid
Have to do the March Hare's riddle?
Abbie Hoffman fights for civil rights
Thomas Jefferson for democracy
Products of the conceptual
In our Surreal Reality

Berryman writes an ode
To Washington's wooden teeth
Manson speaks of Helter Skelter
Neruda damns the fruit company
Charles Schultz frames the story
And Seuss gives it rhyme
Some where far, far away
Taking place once upon a time
And the villagers all had omelettes
Thanks to clumsy Humpty Dumpty
It's all food for thought
In our Surreal Reality

Santa brings us presents
And Cupid bring us love
But we can never get back
The members of the 27 Club
Warhol makes his movies
And Buddha meditates
Joseph Smith reads the golden plates
Mohammed and Jesus save
Theses figures bring people hope
In life's dualities
Trusting faith
And our Surreal Reality


Han Solo is in carbon freeze
Don Juan's preoccupied
Sinbad sets his sails
Simple Simon didn't get his pie
Caesar looked at Brutus
Brutus looked at Saddam Hussein
Hussein looked at L. Ron Hubbard
Who prayed to Eloheim  
Dionysus can out drink us all
We cringe at Achilles fatality  
As Ra soars through the skies
Of our Surreal Reality

Aristotle says to Shakespeare
"Well Billy you old bard"
Frodo trades the ring of power
To Fidel Castro for a Babe Ruth Baseball card
Biggie and Tupac write their lyrics on paper
Ted Bundy is put in jail
They're making another skyscraper
For King Kong to scale
Hemingway is too far gone
Kant's take on morality
Einstein says it's all relative
In our Surreal Reality

Churchill said victory
John Lennon said peace
Judas gave back the silver
Then hung himself in a tree
Tojo and Kim Jong-il
Wanna be as cool as Brando and Dean
George Carlin warned us all
Now Hermes leaves the scene
So do the butcher, the baker and the candle stick maker
Followed by Old King Cole and his Fiddlers Three
As they make their way to find
A sense or Surreal Reality

Odysseus pines for Ithaca
Paul Bunyan chops the trees
The Jersey Devil has not been found
Noah herds the animals by twos not threes
Anubis wraps the mummies
And Augustus leads Rome
Bugs Bunny laughs with Pryor
All at the expense of Job
So what can we all make of this
Is this all actuality?
Symbolism or nonsense?
Realistic Surrealism or Surreal Realty?

Tossing and turning
My mind keeps churning
And I am yearning
That Someday my sleep will be returning.

She flutters **** eyelashes,
And makes tasty sandwiches,
And when she said YES,
Every other became less.

The owl and the ***** cat
went to sea in a boat
without an oar
When the boat sailed home
the cat was alone
and the owl was no more

Hey ****** ******
I’ll tell you a riddle
and I bet you’ll never guess
That Jack B. Nimble
was Jack B. Quick
beneath Miss Muffet’s
dress

Little Sol Hornstein
sat next to Maureen
eating his Christmas
pie
He stuck in his fork
and pulled out some pork
And said ‘what a bad
Jew am I’.

Wee Willie Winkie
Tiptoes through the house,
Upstairs, downstairs
Quiet as a mouse.
Closing every window,
Locking every door,
Drinking all his daddy’s beer
And barfing on the floor

The hippy dippy spider
went uptown to score
He got a bag of ****
from the hippy dippy
store
He smoked up all that
**** with his hippy
dippy friends
So the hippy dippy spider
went uptown again

There was a crooked man
Who walked a crooked mile
He met a crooked woman
Who wore a crooked smile
He brought her to his crooked house
And upon his crooked bed
He had his crooked way with her
(And now the ***** is dead)

(And from an old restroom wall)

Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
(He kissed them too cuz' he was gay)

Jack was nimble
not so quick
caught the pox
poor Jack got sick.

Jill was polishing the crown
when she heard that Jack came down
with a dose of not so good,
she knew what Jack was like and
knew he would, still, she fretted
for his health
not because he had much wealth, but
he did have offspring sprung from her
and what would they do without
Jack there?

Eventually Jack popped off with a quiet groan
and a gurgling cough and a warning to his
offspring sprung, 'have fun, make hay, be careful with whom you lay'

Jill married the man who lived in a shoe and what did she do?
she
had lots more Spring sprung from everything

That woman really messed with my head.

I think she had issues. She left me whispering in bed at night while staring at the ceiling.

Ever recite her stuff in an altered state ?  California for instance.

"Sing a song of sixpence". ? Twisted.

"Pease porridge hot" ? My word.


"Wee Willie Winkie" ? I am scared of you.

Great stuff.

Thanks Mother. No really

A  Beautiful mind.

Looming on the hill,
A real monument,
Cut with granite chisels,
On the necropolis of Glasgow.
To remind us who wrote
Willie Winkie.
A remarkable effigy
Of Miller.
There were others,
Weathered and moss ridden
That caught my tired eye.

I hope if you read this you're over 18...
I've written a poem you may find obscene.
I'm going to be ***** and graphic a while...
Some readers will shudder, yet others will smile
'cause this poem is nasty, off-color and vile.
This is one of my uncensored full-frontal verses
full of expletives, swear words, gratuitous curses
where I'm *****-mouthed, explicit, filthy, blue, crude...
so don't be offended.
I've warned you...
It's lewd.
You might want to stop if you're not in the mood.
At least I'm not sitting in front of you ****.
You can't  see the pierced parts or what is tattooed.
This is strict ADULTS ONLY.
It's all about ***.
It's poetic *******.
****.
Triple X.
Enough with the foreplay... Here goes... Wish me luck:
Boobie. ****. Winkie. *****. ****. Phooey!
If that isn't bad enough, let me be blunt;
Dinky and ******* and backside and cootchie!
C'est tout.   C'est fini.
That' pretty much it...

If you weren't amused why should I give a hoot?

I'm a robot from the future
Laser eyes
Cyber-**** the tyrannosaur

The worst thing is more what I'm coming to
Frogger onto an oncoming bus grill

Watch my innards explodinate.

I work to grab you
I grab to work you
Winkie-face emoticon, except,
y'know IRL.

God's calling recently.
I'm struggling to pick up the phone.

Only place to put my hope in is Him.
Why can't I pick up the receiver?