I covered walls,
desks, windows
and even bathroom stalls
with poems.

I just wanted someone
to unsuspectedly read
what I had conjured
in this broken
imagination of mine.

I wanted them to feel,
To be happy, to be sad.
I just wanted them to see it,
to read it;

I didn't want them to know it was
me.
I didn't want them to know
I was slowly
changing the world.

None of my jobs felt like a career choice from the start,
But I've come to a personal jack *** of being an alarm technician!

I have met so many different walks of life,
And so different housing layouts,
While adventuring many different life styles.

From hoarders to the ultra rich CEOs,
To crazy cat ladies to earthly persona,
But never a dull or same scenarios!

It is super gratifying to meet different personalities,
And most people with heart warming characters.

Not all are sunshine or *** of gold at the end of a rainbow however,
For some like to dictate my professionalism with their know it all,
Because they are a customer and they surely know what must be done.
Some would go far as accusations of me being mean,
Or tantrum equal to a terrible two!

I swear people live in their world within a world,
Not even living in a moment or enjoying the present,
But perception is a silly social standards of expectation.

Like when I met the rich couple where the wife was more like a secretary,
While the husband was an emperor of his domain,
And money was what kept them together.

Older couples who were ultra rich with gated entry to their drive way,
Or their 6 bedroom from top to bottom secured by better alarm system,
But fooled into purchasing our security without a proper knowledge.
Good thing for them, for they got me, the honest man!
In return the couple felt obligated to tip me unsuspectedly in my jacket pocket.

Recently met a beautiful married lady with a nice house,
And she was like poetry,
Speaking spiritually of higher thoughts,
elegant in her voice!
She told me I was a kindred spirit,
Me a kindred spirit?
As far as giving me her spiritual book from India!
"The Fall of The Human Intellect," I shall cherish it with all my heart!

Nothing in life is perfect,
But my job now my career seemed to have picked me.
While there is no guarantee my job is secure,
But am super glad this job has brought me from Minnesota to the south,
And culture with location that expanded my horizon!

We bicker like an old couple,
But we talk like two good friends,
And I can't help but secretly want him,
Because out of everyone I've ever known,
It's also been him,
To call me unsuspectedly and chat,
No matter how many times I try to push him out of my life,
For God sake's he's in Florida and I still think of him every now and then,
Was it just false hope,
Or still a solid dream I should pursue,
Am I just nuts?
But I still look back to that night,
That first night when he put his arm around me so randomly,
I had glasses on and my hair looked a wreck,
Still…
For some stupid reason it felt right with only him

I'm just completely torn up,
With all this ******* bad luck,
See there's this guy,
And of course it's always a guy,
But anyways,
He won't call…or fb or txt…
So I'm left here thinking what the heck,
I wanna ring his neck,
For making me need him more then necessary,
I don't even know whats wrong with him,
Or happened,
All that messed up ****,
I don't care,
But really why?
It was all going so swell,
Why didn't it have to suddenly drowned in a heartbreak from hell,
And why am I even in tears,
I should've expected such disaster to occur,
Unsuspectedly everything was going too well,
Now I'm alone,
Wondering why I even try

Unsuspectedly it creeps
Into my brightest days
Absorbing my joys
Turning highs into lows
Silver linings morph
Into storm systems
It swallows me whole and
Regurgitates out a weak shadow
Until I become a shell
Each tear representing another lost hope
I won't answer your inquiries
Reasons why get lost in the storm
My laughter is feigned
My energy is drained
My status converts from warrior to fraud
Noir is black, and so am I

Within us.
Yes, within us.
It appears unsuspectedly sometimes

And than again, can be so touching when needed.
Yes, love within us.
It shock us.
It amaze us.
Have those that know us even ask questions of us.

Believe it when stated, that love is magical.

It’s August here in New Zealand which means it is the middle of Winter. It rains almost every day here during winter.
Firewood piled outside the door is getting low so I earmarked two hours to barrow split wood from an auxiliary pile, stacked against the rear wall of the house, to the depleted pile, under cover of weather, at the house frontage.

The wood had been there for many months so it was full of spiders. Big spiders with brown chevrons on the back of their abdomen, Wolf spiders the locals call them, they can give you a nasty bite but they have insufficient venom to harm humanity. These spiders inhabit the underside of the split wood, they build silky white webs that resemble pouches. The webs catch inquisitive insects that search for food in the woodpile. The insects become entangled in the webs and the spiders pounce upon them and eat them. I saw plenty of evidence today of both the big spiders and what remains of their insect meals. Shells of the scarabs epidermis actually, all of the soft innards ****** out by the hungry spiders.

Also in the woodpile were several female Beech wasps, brightly colored little Hymenoptera with yellow and black banded stripes, with fearsome, sharp stingers protruding from the very end of the abdomen.  These wasps were not sheltering in the woodpile from the falling rain, they were hunting for the big Wolf spiders. Arachnids ten times their size and equally as combative as the hunting wasps.

Undeterred by size and ferocity the wasps attack the huge spiders without hesitation, Make no mistake, war is waged here for should the spider lance the wasp with its fangs the wasp will die an agonizing death, but if the wasp manages to deftly spear the spider with its stinger, a powerful venom will be injected into the spider immediately paralyzing it…..but the venom doesn’t actually **** the spider, it immobilizes it. The female wasp then penetrates the bulging abdomen of the Arachnid with her ovipositor and lays all of her eggs inside the paralyzed creature. Once egg laying is completed the female wasp disengages herself from the spider and flies away to die.

Almost immediately the wasp eggs hatch inside and the little white larvae begin to consume the living internals of the spider. They continue to eat the fresh edibles until they metamorphosize into young adult wasps which chew their way out of the, now dead, husk of spider and fly away to seek a mate which in turn, once fertilized, will ultimately hunt yet another unfortunate spider to host the fearsome hatchlings of her own busy brood.

As I stacked the wood in the front alcove I paused for a few moments to ponder the miracle of life and death enacted, unsuspectedly, in the battleground of my back woodpile….and marveled at the absolute drama of it all.

M@Foxglove.Taranaki.NZ
20 August 2023