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your gaze follows my fingers down to the edge of the seat, clinging.
i dont love you.
but there will always be an **** that wont heal, and you are one of them.
so how do i confront you when i am nothing but a selfish fiend?
i know you are unmeasurably joyful
and i should be too, bc im out of that situation
it is possessiveness plauging over me
making me remember how i am only human
and after today i will be able to put this to rest.
but for one last night,
let me bathe in my self pity
out of the fact that i have lost you.
M Feb 2014
We were reading the inferno in class today
The second ring of the seventh circle
She let out a gasp
I almost didn't hear it, could have mistaken it for a breath if my eyes hadn't glanced in her direction
Witnessed her mouth agape, her eyes wide with shock and horror as she read the description of the woods of suicide
She closed it quickly, her mouth, I mean
I took her hand and squeezed it, but I had to let go
Her mouth remained closed but her eyes flashed with pain when the people who "defiled" themselves were torn apart by the ravenous dogs
I knew what was hiding under her jeans on her upper thighs
I knew it was the child of her mind tearing itself apart
It's funny
Funny, how those cuts on her legs
Hurt me more than pain should be allowed to exist in anything
Funny, how pain we feel for those we love is unmeasurably larger than the pain we feel for ourselves
Funny.
Connor Coffey Oct 2020
Vocal resonance confined to the semblance of normalcy
left in tune to the motions of your body,
Leave me trapped in the prison of I love you,
Sound waves bounce along the contours of your skin singing melodies of the memories you left me with,
Long nights and cold sweat seem like the only thing I have to remind me you were here.

I miss when you were here,
Making jokes about my simplicity in matters
too elegant for my taste,
Making every small detail interesting as you dissect the
very fine lines that lie between you and me,
Discussing space and religion with perfect symmetry,
You allowed me to see the world as it witness's it's own epiphany to itself.

And that self is so unmeasurably lonely without you,
If only I could steer clear from the redundancy,
Move forward without complacency,
To understand love doesn't end with uncertainty,
To look forward to a life that breathes optimistic inevitable reality.

But here I am,
You've moved on and I am still here,
I breathe,
I speak,
I move,
Alone in the prison of I love you.

How do I move forward when every step is one taken with you,
Every place a stained and blood-ridden reminder of the path we once walked,
Shadowed by echo's of vocal resonance,
Soft laughter,
Warm silence,
Sweet talks.

To turn ones back on all memory is in it the idea of living in total uncertainty,
No way to grow without the manure of past tries,
So I am trying to grow,
One day when you let me sleep a full night,
And the sweat subsides,
And the echo's decline,
I will finally make my way to another prison of I love you.

— The End —