I know no matter what I say or do.The words will sound so very hollow.For I am forever a stranger to you.Just a name in a sea of others.Fellow yarn spinners.Snakes and thieves friends and brothers.You cannot read the truth from a lie.The recluse writter the drunkand just another guy.A page filled with words andempty meanings.A seedy downtown theater that shows the best latenight screenings.My face is unknown  but my soul is already there.Blind are the truths of a scetchy past.So I remain forever a stranger toanyone who may care.Beautiful eyes that go unseen.Shadows on a clear night.So is my nightmare and how is your dream?I cant say I'll ever know the uptown citys respect.Im more of the twisted citys slums and back alleys favorite reject.I remove the ******* to expose thethe gritty side of what to me is brutal and true.I ride through the darkest part night.To remain forever a stranger to you.

He told me I was his best friend
I’m sure it was just like on campus and I d him he was my best friend which is true like on campus and he’s so kind and sweet and I love him so much
He’s the Jake to my Amy
Kylie said he was Lindsay Lohan and I was his Aaron like right off the bat no question and we’re a pair
He makes me so happy
He wasn’t going to drive but he drove me nd didn’t drink because of that even though I told him we could switch and I felt bad because he had fun at mtsu but he told me it was okay and he kept saying it and I love and value him so much
He dealt with me drunk and he’s so cute
His face is so sparkly
I want to hold his hand
Imagine if I did
I sat beside him on the couch and we were close and pressed against each other and he eventually moved later to another chair and I know that it’s because he didn’t like it but omfg what if he just knows better bc he feels things
I know it’s not true but I’m writing my drink thoughts
I left my gum at Hannah’s house but it’s okay
I had approx 3 cups of wine and a cup of *****/7 up/cranberry juice and half a cup of *****/dr pepper
I love him. I just do. It’s a fact. I’m so fixing grateful that we’re friends.
I’m a *******
“You’re my best friend too, I don’t talk toanyone”
“Really?”
“Yeah”
“Ok ok say it again”
“I don’t talk to anyone”
“No the first thing”
“You’re my best friend”
“*** I love u I’m gonna give u a hug from back here thank you for driving everything and I love u and I’m gonna miss you -“
“I’ll miss you too”
“And just thank you”
That was the convo before he drove away and I went inside and I sent some messages to him and I’m sitting in my cozy room still tipsy and  thinking about him and that’s all

Even sober, I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. He may be it. I sat with him on the couch all night and I don’t remember a lot but I remember us laughing and me looking him in the eye and loving him unconditionally. I felt like we had been disconnected for a little while but I’ll really never stop loving him he’s the Jake to my Amy I’m definitely Amy and he’s definitely Jake and i hope one way we end up with each other sometimes I wonder what will happen after we graduate but I love him and try not to think about it but either way I love him and that’s all.

That’s really all. He’s home safe and I couldn’t be happier. What if he kissed me

What would that be like

I imagined it a lot tonight

I don’t remember much from tonight but I remember looking at him and just loving him. He’s everything to me. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I’m going to sleep watching Brooklyn 99 and the fact that he loves this show is so amazing. He’s perfect. I’m trying to stop typing but I can’t.

I bought his water tonight. Didn’t notice until later that he couldn’t drink because he was driving. He had a swig if ***** but didn’t feel anything. I told him I knew he would and he didn’t believe me but I knew he would. Maybe I really do know him.

I wonder if I’ll be hungover probably

Reminder to self look back at messages to Endia kaylinn as Jacob just to make sure you weren’t stupid

I love Endia I’m glad she knows that now and I’m glad she told me she loves me too and I told her that I was always surprised that she didn’t and that she defended it it makes me feel so good to know that she really does value me like that

I’m laying/lying down goodnight I love Jacob and Endia and kaylinn and Kylie and bell and Val and Kyle and Hannah and Evan and Maryellen and Mackenzie and Denee and Jenna and myself <3

My lips are still numb