There's a virulent disease
inside him. It pervades every
where. It invades him. The
toxic cells exist in every nook
and crevice. He starts wondering
whether his soul and body will
suffice and live through the
brutal treatments that await.
Radiotherapy or chemo. A
part of himself could be lost in the
pomposity and elaborateness
of the machines used to do so.
He lies on the bed, surrounded
by the ostensibly loved ones
who mourn now and who hated
him once. He looks back at
his life and feels that getting
back to his healthy, strong self
is a chimera. Days pass and his
bed is his sanctuary. The reports
from the doctors arrive and he is
all but stationary. He finds the
concept of reports funny. They
determine life and death in a
second and after that, life could
be jubilant or miry with hopelessness.
The reports clearly indicate that
"cancer was not detected". He
scoffs at the elaborate medical
language and sits back and
relaxes, concluding his close
call with death and an emotional mess.
Not letting the intimidation and
sinister nature of the diseases get to him.

six-inch heels abandoned
in lampless corner       grimy pennies embedded in carpet

rent's due

wedding band girl "fab polka dot frocks"
waterfalling past knees        outta place
on casino bus destined for rest under Ft. Worth stars
now, now    ******* borealis speckled dice

true love waits

socialite lip balm and bourgeoisie hips compete
in bidding war over which black face triggerpulls
which black face eyes the ground
passerby the red light      the green light
all night diner    egg on chin   coffee-stained porcelain   teeth

"I forgave, I think. I forget."

crowded and paranoid in the left lane    the right lane
empty and weak and surrender and soiled underwear in ammonia nursing home
children is a word     time is a lie the polka dot and the interstate ain't selling
divorce the consequence of acoustic shadows

reblog   undo   #sotrue    reblog

living through x-ray radiotherapy the dotted gown
never the veiny calves or the blush or the eyeliner
somewhere in North Texas shawtys are in the club
shawtys are backin' it up    shawtys are dropin' it down

hit me+hit me+hit me=blackjack mishap

the marvel of the wind and of wind turbines
cognac decade brides     the epitome of class and natural elegance
standing like oil derricks and treated like oil wells
so secretive and philanthropic

this taxon remains nameless

casino turned dance hall   dance hall   skinny ties still a thing
this wine is good. is it a merlot?    no.    this is purely recreational
for birthdays   for weddings    and Ft. Worth missionaries
10-50 passengers   we've got 53, no 54 #hahahaha #whoops #party

who needs unprescribed drugs? me, me (!)

decomposing mascara sweat on brow the interstate no longer lit
polka dots has got the suicide by Manet pulled up
on her iPhone the financial stress   which shudders warm-blooded moms
on her lips    every mother a librarian   every mother a swing-pusher

but digression    next to bitterness   the lowest sin

edging the cultural gateway of the old west
miracles in and miracles out of tradition following
the slender bends of middle ancient Trinity River
children a word   pattycake a game

and time   time a lie we left to museum panoramas

I wish I could get my hands on you cancer,
Punch you once for all the pain you cause
Once, for the people you've ripped apart
Once, for the broken hearts left in your wake
Once, for the teardrops all cried in your name
Once, for all the things you take,
Like hope... happiness... sanity
Once, for the way you enjoy weaving yourself around peoples bodies
Making yourself at home... even though you were only meant to be a temporary guest
Who should have left once the chemotherapy started to work... or the radiotherapy kicked in
But it didn't did it?
And so I will hurt you until you are a painful mess...
And then cancer, I will strangle you....
Just like you do to others

Frozen Bones



Mom, why my bone aches?

Why my entire body quakes?



Is this a punishment or am I out lucked?

I wish death would release me than being plucked



Mom, I don’t need drugs or chemotherapy

And no blunt hospitals or hopeless radiotherapy



Mom, before it’s too late and I’m trapped with aphasia

The life’s agonizing; please liberate my soul by euthanasia



Sorry Mom I talk so ruthless,

Nobody wishes life to be so worthless

Promise me you won’t cry when I am gone

Wherever I’d be, your life must stay on.



Your grief is giant that’s last thing I know

I wished you would have seen me for many years to grow



Oh Mom! But these poisonous bones, Why couldn’t be fixed by glue?

As ashes of those bones would immerse and my soul flew

I shall fall asleep peacefully and see a dream of glorious view

Mom, you shall be glad imagining, my life will be calm and new



My life here is nothing but the silent assembly of frozen bones

No flesh, no blood, no pain, everywhere are just peaceful zones