"overweigh" poems
It was the time of summer where every kid had silently realized that it was ending,
No longer halfway through, no longer half full
Leaking and spilling out,
like the gas in my twenty two year old car
We couldn’t stop it,
And the moments of high school summertime
The moments that supposedly turn into stories we tell forever
Hadn’t seemed to have happened.
Both of us on the swing lazily swung
Dizzily from side to side.
Climbing forward, falling in reverse
Our combined bodyweight shifting back and forth
Tanned legs kicking up in an attempt at unison on every backwards glide.
Gravity hung us there,
Pulling the swing toward the ground no matter the rotation.
I sat on top.
I wore bleached shorts and bleached hair.
I worried that gravity or more so my value to it
would crush him.
At the same time, I felt unbelievably small.
The air pressed in on me from all angles,
it touched my bare legs
it easily waffled my shirt.
“Mel, if you were squishing me, I would let you know”,
he assured with a cocky tone of his very own that somehow made me feel special.
I couldn’t help but think he was only trying to be tough
Attempting to let sheer willpower overweigh my well earned quads,
My six foot frame.
The awkward body I never quite grew into
Never knew how to masterfully control
Never knew how to fill.
Though I secretly (wanted to) truly believe him
On this humid night I felt like the ball was in my court,
Like I could do anything and everything.
That nothing could go wrong
That the boy that I was sitting on was genuine
And that I could simply drive off to wherever.
(I had a full tank of gas and enough money to get me to Alabama).
I felt small in this,
in this infinity of possibility all around me.
Like a weight was pushing into me
Putting on pressure that couldn’t be ignored
That shrunk me just enough.
I felt powerless to fate
Powerless to this planet
To this grand, glorified hunk of earth which was so much greater than me
(and surely my insignificant weight anxieties).
I felt like the gas was leaking out faster than I could use it.
I felt like my infinity was disappearing as I swung within it.
Just like that, I let the ball drop and the gas leak out.
We just kept swinging.
Laughing,
Wasting,
Talking,
Dying.
Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 10:16 PM UTC
She fell asleep on Christmas Eve:
At length the long-ungranted shade
Of weary eyelids overweigh’d
The pain nought else might yet relieve.
Our mother, who had lean’d all day
Over the bed from chime to chime,
Then rais’d herself for the first time,
And as she sat her down, did pray.
Her little work-table was spread
With work to finish. For the glare
Made by her candle, she had care
To work some distance from the bed.
Without, there was a cold moon up,
Of winter radiance sheer and thin;
The hollow halo it was in
Was like an icy crystal cup.
Through the small room, with subtle sound
Of flame, by vents the fireshine drove
And redden’d. In its dim alcove
The mirror shed a clearness round.
I had been sitting up some nights,
And my tired mind felt weak and blank;
Like a sharp strengthening wine it drank
The stillness and the broken lights.
Twelve struck. That sound, by dwindling years
Heard in each hour, crept off; and then
The ruffled silence spread again,
Like water that a pebble stirs.
Our mother rose from where she sat:
Her needles, as she laid them down,
Met lightly, and her silken gown
Settled: no other noise than that.
“Glory unto the Newly Born!”
So, as said angels, she did say;
Because we were in Christmas Day,
Though it would still be long till morn.
Just then in the room over us
There was a pushing back of chairs,
As some who had sat unawares
So late, now heard the hour, and rose.
With anxious softly-stepping haste
Our mother went where Margaret lay,
Fearing the sounds o’erhead—should they
Have broken her long watch’d-for rest!
She stoop’d an instant, calm, and turn’d;
But suddenly turn’d back again;
And all her features seem’d in pain
With woe, and her eyes gaz’d and yearn’d.
For my part, I but hid my face,
And held my breath, and spoke no word:
There was none spoken; but I heard
The silence for a little space.
Our mother bow’d herself and wept:
And both my arms fell, and I said,
“God knows I knew that she was dead.”
And there, all white, my sister slept.
Then kneeling, upon Christmas morn
A little after twelve o’clock
We said, ere the first quarter struck,
“Christ’s blessing on the newly born!”
1.2k
When the pressure rises and the questioning blares
When the assumptions fly and the fear of being ostracised glares
When the fear of loneliness comes into play
Or the possibility of failure that comes to stay
The risk of not being able to blame anyone but you
The guilt and ‘told you so’ that will ensue
Will it overweigh your desire to be free
And overwhelm your desire to be a wolf among sheep
Will it crush your dreams of being unique
I wonder which path will you seek
Jun 7, 2021
Jun 7, 2021 at 9:20 PM UTC
You wouldn't listen if I told you,
You wouldn't react if you saw,
Red scratches look like smears,
With those lenses of yours.
You wouldn't replace them,
No matter how tinted,
Convince me it was normal,
"It's just what family does."
It was normal for family,
To look at me through the holes.
I hear a certain voice,
Or a certain laugh or certain story,
My heart still stops as it rattles my being,
My mind goes a distance, falling,
Writing this now I feel bile in my throat,
Because Dad he is 5001 miles away,
But why does he seem close?
You wouldn't let me explain,
Mum could not defend,
Your fear of finding out the truth,
Can't overweigh desire for its end.
You wouldn't listen Dad,
Your habit is to blame,
But would I want you to do anything?
That would be nothing for your gain.
It will be his as he knows,
He's won,
For that reason alone.
Feb 27, 2020
Feb 27, 2020 at 8:33 PM UTC