Anyways more of me lol, OK I grew up with a mum and dad good Christian parents though both went off the path!¡ mum is ex. Well still alcoholic but don't drink once addict always one as they say.. I saved her life many times from getting killed .. Me mother is mine soulmate no not sexually. She's mine best friend in this world if I lost her I'd lose me really in a way.. Dad is ex pill addict currently still is. Though he gets quote legal pills for back pain herniated disk) he is part of reason I got into a 22 people drug bust... I was originally charged in drug bust with trafficking oxy  contins meaning ( an felony 2) meaning trafficking in drugs. And got charged with trafficking ******* up to and ounce between two deals I made to a guy who set me up between two Thursdays....I knew this guy from school back in day so you all know.. He wore wire on me. Had police phone I used to call me dealer which police listened and sit right out side me apts.... Anyways I got on probation continued to use drugs was blessed... Those charges I told u were dropped to aggravate
Possession of drugs from the two oxys for me in me pocket... Lawyer knew I did these deals not for money but pills... So yes messed up probation so sent to crc prison for four months than to pickaway prison right across the street which used to be an old army base than in the thirties was a mental ward for people who had demons.... So yeah in prison people could find out I sang... I became the singer of the prison I did their talent shows. I spoke out against gangs killing gangs in there knowing I'd be ridiculed from gangs sitting and watching me but I got respect singing to whole crowd and I got good respect from all people.  Because I believe in loving all people. Not war. Not hate not anger or hate but love conquers all evils.... If humañs would only understand that. Oh more u don't know I also played for the ex mayor at age sixteen for a drug Free thing I use to be in called 3d ironically was a hypocrite using drugs at time . anyways played at ballroom of Toledo art museum in front of a crowd of the mayors.. Also played at  a high school in Cleveland Ohio doing me own music two songs ... There were 350 eyes on me which felt amazing.... And did a show at a private school for girls and boys and had news people from wtol news there in Toledo.... So yes I need to get back into music I miss it alot .?. I've been poet along time can't tell u really how long?!? I can communicate with spirits literally I hear them in me home . I see their orbs . me and mum both. We got pics of them and sound recordings though try to stay away from that *** we don't always know if good or evil demons are coming in... I've been scratched by them... Broke out in rashes from them touching me. Can feel cold from them when their near... Hear them speak in me ear so only I hear or out loud where me and mum hear both *** me and her are in tune spiritually big time... Dad also hears like me and mum footsteps in house or in addict in apt. Yet have Christ to protect me in bad... And when I pray to Christ those DEMON'S leave. They hate christ!!!!!No more natious feeling that they cause no more depression when they leave.... They are real  for u who don't believe.... Also I usualy wear long hair but cut whenever I need to even it up.... I had friends in past yet due to their drug use still they all left me after mine bust showing me not real friends.... So mums me best friend so is many others on here I'm close with .. You have all showed me soo much love I've never felt... God bless u all . I thank u to me soul....I love to cook to.. I also love giving back massages and whole body massages.. I love brushing ones hair to and rubbing their eyes lids temples.... Also with one I love pulling her hair stroking fingers in it to help her relax on back of her head... And massaging her... Using candles to relax her and I love incense.. Sage and Christ is for the demons lol.... But I love cooking for a woman ... And making her a bath to relax... And I am a true hopeless romantic......

Not done more coming wait to see (;

I believe to feel misunderstood is to feel crazy.
it's like your sitting here and your realizing that nobody will ever understand your brain and the way that you think

Then you realize that you've come to this conclusion due to the fact that you don't even understand your own self

anxiety comes in and poors a million little black ants all of your body and you start shaking

Angst takes over you
I am not okay
I am crazy
Mentally I'll
I need help
What the **** is wrong with me
I am so filled with nothing it's like I'm not even a person anymore
I miss feeling alive
I don't even know if there's any blood following through my veins
I don't even know if I care
Just something please make me feel
I'm desperate
I'm petrified of the this feeling that boils inside of me and ceases to evaporate
Make it go away
Pain? Were are you I need you
Come back!
You made me feel alive.
Happiness? Do you even exist?
Were you even real? I need you
Come back!
Depression
Leave I don't want you
Hopelessness
Leave u make me natious
Anxiety
Your killing me and eating me alive
Your ruining me
Please let me free from you
I don't want to smoke anymore
Let me go
Angst
I don't know why I feel you or why you've come but i dont want you
You make me feel
incomplete
unfulfilled

I need something that will make me feel like if I'm still a person
Otherwise for all I know I'm dead and dreaming

Tough guy I am not
but im not too bad at tying knots
missing methods to cope with
all these morbid thoughts.
"this sinking feeling sinking in again, no matter what I try"
Still can't help but want to die.
I shy away from blades
as sharp thoughts edge closer
I'm closer to the edge but it all seems dull and pointless.
Apathy runs through me like
the bang I drank,
hoisting the corners of my mouth in a twisted smile as if on fishhooks held high by society's hand.
Forcing the young puppet to dance.
Find a girlfriend buy new pants.
Live laugh love and believe in romance,
but romantic notions make me natious.
Stop the ride I wanna get off it
just let me crawl inside my coffin
swimming in my feels like a depressed dolphin
see, world's just as dark as it seems. Take off your glitter and see what I mean.