There’s a bizarre pleasure
To the depressive illusion
I want both to be free of it
And also cover my head
shunning the light of day
My body feels stiff, rigid
I want to elongate myself
Pulling, cracking, arching
But the end feels closer
The smaller I become
Aummmmm
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
Namaste
It isn’t working.
The body is strong
The mind and heart
They are so weak
Resentful of its being
A dichotomy of feelings
AummmmmmmMMMMMMMMM
Among the pillows
I scream it out
Croaking, raspy.
My ears crave
The piercing of
My Own Voice
NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO
The pressure builds
My head buzzes as
resonating repetition
Rips through my consciousness
The body is bored of the effort
Just stop
NAMASTE
It’s time to get up
The end is a long way off
Reach.
Breathe.
Deeper.
That’s it.
Hold.
Breathe.
Deeper.
That’s right.
Feel that?
You like that,
Don’t you.
That feels…
Good.
It’s not comfortable
It’s not pain
It is life.
Some days the memories creep up on me, and the body says, let go, start over. This story is just getting good, you’ll see.