I was never perfect
I can be the calm after the storm
rage when its about to transform
I am a mess in its clearest form
but I'm not here to misinform
all I ever wanted is to let go of the norm
I was never perfect
but I can be madness in its unconditional form

These are odd times for us, whether we can perceive it or not
It may be that we know but knowing isn't quite as tangible an experience as we'd like

We live as overwhelmed individuals in a layered psychological and cellular construction
Or, be it better or worse, solitary insecurity clusters ignoring screen after screen
Electronics spreading root throughout our air, ground, and following us around
Reality a strange blur between the definite, clear sober now and the insistent, ageless imposition of imagery
Of pixels and posters and places we've never been
Of people that distort our perceptions, degrade our emotions, and misinform us with too many voices
Our entertainment often becoming an intellectual and perceptual tranquiliser
Or a place to inhabit and let go, when the pressures of economic stability and social conscription to labour need to be forgotten, if only for a while

I still hold onto the optimism though
I hold onto it because I have to, because I want to, because I believe in it
It is my abstract fuel, a state of mind that every now and then gives me the pick me up to plod on
The internal negativity clawing at shins reconstructed as a test of masculinity, negativity from the world a test of solidarity
I am not infallible, I move slower sometimes, get lost sometimes, can't quite make it tangible and structured sometimes
I am reminded that I'm not recession proof, that I'm still the system's ***** and sometimes my buttocks aren't raised quite high enough
But..

I keep going. Like we all do. I try to let it exemplify myself a bit more than most, but..

If I can make that girl thank me,
that guy give me a smirk,
that project go a little faster,
that day smell and feel nicer
and that anxious night seem a little more transparent

Through something as simple as trying to be optimistic and mindful of the self
I guess there's something to keeping your chin up

Scenes of the city
Rushing by electric
Feeling nothing
Just for the fun of it

Form to fit
Fit to a form
Pen is out of ink
Help me in my weakness
I just don't think
I can beat this

Liquor stores and
Gas stations
Pouring out our vice filled fantasies
From both ends

Rain is pouring
Wind is roaring
Cities swallowed up
Were screaming out, "No more! No More!"

The sea that is our politics
Misinform and confuse the public
Promises and mistakes
Have been made, yet hope
Is on the horizon
Divided we stand

As a true American family band

Where the rent is cheap
I'll be living this burden
Where the food tastes weary
Road sides no longer able to carry
The traveler's broke, tired, and disgraced

Our adventures broadcasted
On the 4 o'clock news
While the clubs play their blues
And the junkies deep inside their alleys
Pick there eyebrows and use

Ill lit and

Lonesome
Tonight

No one
Around

Wine gnats buzz
Around my hands and head

Night is around

She always is

What an honor I feel
To have such
Wonderful gifts

Other man's codes blow in
From an unseen snow storm

Stay true to your own life
Do not lay down your own word
So to prevent disillusioned strife

For each gift granted
Should be respected
And never slanted

Sink in delirium
we can sink down
into blue atmosphere

Take advice from old ways
bleed yourself
cause im dieing to meet you

It shifts sideways
amphetamine kicks in
Now they'll never find us

You covered all your tracks
drag the wounded to safety
rise past all the ranks

Subdued the  sidearms
Everything else FLASHES
into and out of
like a concussion

Perpetual madness
can misinform the weak
but we all tried
to fill the cavity

It seems broken
humanity....once bustling
full of drive and vigor
Now wrecked and sluggish

So we'll sink further
go into the caves
and underneath your ashes
our bodies will rise

Strut proudly backwards in zig zag lines
Never to step
Or misinform or crime
Listening to time's broken bells
Left at the Old Man's spell
Crippled by stranger eyes
Horizons built not seen or signed
Discredited and neglected
He's alive, he's alive

you are a light breeze
and i am a complete thunderstorm
how many times have you cried?
i don't say this to misinform.
you are not mine
and now i think i'll be fine
one summer
in how many more to come?
one summer left
to just have fun

I took a train to wisdomville
I'm my old beat automobile
It seems I was destined for a strong will
My spirits furious at the works
Of Capitol Hill
Gotdamn how they get this much power
Every hour I see souls devoured
By a faceless public figure
It seems more negativity
Get you more figures
Seven plus check the army surplus
Every time they lay their foot n the dust
I see ashes to ashes dust to dust
Folks so oxidized I can see there rust
Too many putting there trust
Into a system
That don't care nothing about them
Ask them
About money cars n clothes
That just goes to show
How manipulated they are
Trying to hard to be a fake star
No shine is too bright
Ya need to stay close to the light
But many love the comfort of darkness
Mentally spiritually a dead carcass
Waiting for a messiah to arise
When the serpent is right in front of your eyes
Look ahead folks they playing
You
Even got them boys in blue
Uniform sticking you like a unicorn
But don't understand u misinform
Harmless harm
I call it a good kick charm
Too many folks showing love to a plantation farm
***** gettin banks
Still climbing the ranks
Do hard work n still get no thanks
That's American greed for your ***
I tell the truth brutal
N still can't get a pass
Or an invitation
To the elite conversation
They hate me cuz I'm thinking
Mind deeper than a submarine
I swear it's loose my head got no screws
**** guillotine
Switch the scene so I look tacky
With a GPS
They still couldn't track me
Call it what ya want
Still on hunt with them spirits in th trunk
Still I gotta say most sheep's astray
But it's just another day

To be fair, for sure the chasm is wide
in grace, in minds, in style, in reach or breeding
in their lowness, their mediocrity they all does fall
alas weak semi skilled and verbose ghosts regressives
tardy simpletons baring wonky teeth in urban revolution
brain dead mistakes reared on State-welfare snarling anarchy

Moi in enlightened grace and rarified sublimity
in esteemed value with qualities noble above mundane
barely two score years ago spooks were jiving affirmative Action
lower glass ceiling, give handicaps, at least make pretend equality
da urban bros are lagging behind, stop genocide of men-dem minds
empty rhetoric of the Ali Gs and Enimen clones faking cred la Street

Come look at me, come fight with me
I don't fit your stereotyping or tick boxes of rastas
enlightened, educated, privileged, sophisticated, well-bred
challenges all your dour senses, the one with the mind unbleached of noble birth and impeccable hereditary I frighten the hell outta hankies
the inferior cadavers hound, harass, sabotage and troll in jealous envy

Yeah, I am the giant you have to tie down
The one with the mostest, the stuff of your nightmares
so fight for your right to be backward and gloriously ignorant
lie, discredit,  misinform and dis-inform for this one knows more
makes your inferiority complexes scream in odious pain an frenzy
why wouldn't you all do what you do and miscall it red revolution

All a lumping together, forced to face our separate selves
Though if we forms divised apart
When do we melt or sublimate back?
Off tract by habit-tat-tat-tat-tat
Laughing; the brat upheld her ways
Braying and kicking and making a stink
Staking unholdable, miserable values
Dolls on a glass shelf, and we dust to misinform
Because these ever static statistics
hold our weary waves from wagging
To their novel nature
And I pray to find that state, that place, that thee
The Thou-
Caught by the proud, the sounds they unfold
And the echos distract, and derail off a track
That could never take leave
The olive branch dove of concept
panics from the sound of arms
..she never left
Never will and the wilting flower falls
to clear the way for something new
A bubble, a blob, a splat, a clump
A bloom forms upon making a collective sound
While the bustling pressure denies details
These breaths, these cells
Streams of blood; thinning and clotting
Thoughts and views and spewing momentum
Fulcrum lifting these crates to cohesion

18.4 K Words. What is the significance of this statistic? So many politicians are prolix and say nothing, except to misinform. or even worse, to lie. Those who are wise are laconic:  truth is expressed in but few words. Literary agents in Manhattan want to know how many words are in your mannuscript, but want to receive only several pages of it to read. This tells me their foremost concern is making money, not discovering literary merit. Often silence is the most articulate.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks

What shall we do, where will we go?
Is anywhere safe for us in this chaotic world best described as an F5 tornado.

Uncontrolled thoughts spinning round and round, with at best incoherent processes upside down.
Many do I see wearing a confused frown.

Give me shelter from this horrific storm!
Please give me accurate information and me never misinform.

Incoming missiles of doubt to my left and right!
Most everyone around me displaying paralyzing fright!

Is true safety a physical place?
At times it can be, though first we must clearly see Gods invisible face.

Through it all, by only his kind guidance will we get to that safe “place.”
How? By forming in these last days, unbreakable faith!


J.I.F.


2 Peter 2:5
And he did not refrain from punishing an ancient world, but kept Noah, a preacher of righteousness, safe with seven others when he brought a flood upon a world of ungodly people.  

Hebrews 11:7
By faith Noah, after receiving divine warning of things not yet seen, showed godly fear and constructed an ark for the saving of his household; and through this faith he condemned the world, and he became an heir of the righteousness that results from faith.

Matthew 24:38,39

For as they were in those days before the Flood, eating and drinking, men marrying and women being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark,  39 and they took no note until the Flood came and swept them all away, so the presence of the Son of man will be.

Hebrews 11:6

6 Moreover, without faith it is impossible to please God well, for whoever approaches God must believe that he is and that he becomes the rewarder of those earnestly seeking him.

Daniel 3:26
Neb·u·chad·nezʹzar approached the door of the burning fiery furnace and said: “Shaʹdrach, Meʹshach, and A·bedʹne·go, you servants of the Most High God, step out and come here!” Shaʹdrach, Meʹshach, and A·bedʹne·go stepped out from the midst of the fire.