Roads stretch for miles,
The city lights seem lonely
and 27 like an ominous number

I search my head for answers,
Though thoughts about age and time
seem pointless

I wonder what the stars think of their mortality,
Does it also seem like a short time?
Is someone also stealing their time?
Does it feel like a rush?
Do they also feel small?
Can their gigantic heat generate as much joy as it illudes us to?

There is no point in wondering
Yet wondering puts my mind to ease...

....I wonder why

I can feel my halo
Dimming
I can feel my tolerance
Slimming
I can feel my sanity rot in this
Forever stagnant state I'm
Sitting
I can feel the madness
Ripping
Holes of confusion in my
Heart
I can feel the courage crawl to
Fool me alone in the
Dark

But where the
**** am I?
Search for shadows in the light
So easily could I just hate
But I suppress what none dare take
Let the tears soften the break
Coping illudes as release

I pray for the real fall
I pray to end it all
They say to get it off my chest
Let my burdens find some rest
But I take comfort in the hope
One day my cares will *******
Choke

I could feel you spitting every
Insolent complaint
Hammering like nails in my
Tolerance
I swallow hard
Push down impulsiveness
Caution can be a burden
Praised as wisdom's yoke
Yet, so can capriciousness
So I sit back and choke

So where the
**** am I?
Anxiety is too **** high
So easily could I just break
But an act of risk
The fence won't take
Just sit there and
Equivocate
Coping illudes as release

I pray for the real fall
I pray to end it all
They say to get it off my chest
Let my burdens find some rest
But I take comfort in the hope
One day my cares will *******
Choke

Sitting pretty on the fence
Next to indecisiveness
And he tells me
"Here, there is no right or wrong. In the grey is where you belong."

So I look to either side and
They're all living their lives
Doing what they feel is right until they die
And here I am alone
Wasting away as I
Erode
And I realize I'll never
live at all.

So who the
**** am I?
Risk is the breath of life
So easily could I just wait
Second guess and hesitate
But there's no freedom in a place
Where coping illudes as release

let me tell you a
story. one time something
convinced me that i was not
beautiful. it was society
it was anxiety it was
the others and the i.
then i took a sage trip on a
spaceship, i sat inside myself
the real myself, and felt
the warmth of the core of the
earth, i felt the power surge down the
roots of my feet, i felt
the light at the center of me
and it was connected,
somehow inseparable, from
the sun and the moon and the
other stars. now that i have felt this,
the "size" you speak of illudes me.
what is it? a warp in space
time, a measure of gravity?
how huge are you, really? a dot
inside a planet inside a galaxy
inside a universe. what do you really
feel when you have so few clothes
on? irrationality that can be turned
into freedom within an attosecond
infinitysecond. what do you really
feel when you have so few clothes
on? listen to the wise wolf
woman inside you.