Fehlmann poems on Hello Poetry

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

It Is The Little Things by Jack Fehlmann

I can't list them,
they are too many
sorted into too few ways
They are the little things
the day to day, the worst,
the amazingly great, the mundane
I see them never all at once,
just a few here, some days tons
others none, of any shade or shape
But they are there I understand this
the little things that irritate and cause drama
the little ways one can show how he loves another
in simple actions, or thoughtful vigil
I sometimes celebrate, or at least pretend
To love the good, done for another,
but inside I am wondering what about me?
Oh, these little things
they complicate you, and they get in... so deep
So in, where you believe that it is your own agenda
but you are ninety percent programmed to love your self less and less
and ten percent willing to participate in that corruption
These little things will define you through your failings,
as well as your leaps and bounds of personal appraisal
Forget what you hate, and love what you don't want to
The little things change, and control and add chaos to your life
and it's these this little things that will **** you.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"The Fragrance of A Whisper" by: Jack Fehlmann

And I heard the words approaching,
So close, so fragrant beneath her pressed lips
I waited, I listened...

Encouraging the woman I thought I loved,
Please, baby pleading with all remaining hope...
It wasn't meant to hurt, it was foolish,..

Perfumed blissful ignorance in my waiting acceptance,
whisper the words love, no other may need hear them,
for they are for my hurt, my scarring heart...

In her beautiful green eyes,.. She wants to,
But there is only the longest pause...
then a tear, shed to roll easily away
and I am no longer the reason for the words

something did happen,
robbing the song they produce
in my heart, that in a breath, weakens...

Oh no, no, no, no don't give silence reign over our union.
Silence is nothing to my eardrums,
as it is... Too loud,
and wretchedly painful to my heart.

So close, the words, the way to the way it was,
before,...
one last kiss will never come...

As she turns and lives forever part,
all that is left,
is the fragrance of a whisper
to remember, and words that never were never heard.

I'm sorry,... I do love you,
I will always, forever...

Words that never come.

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2013

"Brave Face" by Jack Fehlmann

Brave Face
see me now,
Look at my brave face
I can be a charmer
Saying such nice things
Meant to disarm you
See me
I can be a liar
Saying the things
The real me cannot say
See my brave face
So patient and understanding
Hides the real me
I can be so unforgiving
Because I see now
I am not worthy
I am though
I am worthy of forgetting

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"A Beautiful Fighter" by: J Fehlmann

You’re a beautiful fighter.
No other angel may compare,
In these eyes,
The one’s You gave me.
No heart have I known,
Bigger, kinder, genuine, gentler
No,… Nor any more unconditional
As is the way that you love.
As is the way of a beautiful fighter.
Mom, the day I found you,
Life having left you only moments prior,
I realized I’d never know another,
Champion already in my eyes,
A hundred times over…
Your strength, your will, your stamina, your devotion
Filled me, trained my body to react,
To fight back, so I tried…
I kissed your mouth and fed you air,..
Begging with encouraging yet pleading
words desperate, needed
Please mom, come back, not yet, I’m not ready…
Your tiny chest, in out of place wonder…
How could such a large heart reside there…
I pushed, I pressed I begged I kissed…
Fearing the worst but inside I knew better…
Because you Mom,
You Are A Beautiful Fighter.
This day you won,
Forever my champion,
I love you mom,
I have never been prouder than of you now,
Thank you for fighting Mom,
You never gave up, and I will never either.

Written the day that I found my mother and her heart had stopped...

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"My Sea of Regret" by: J Fehlmann

I wish not...
To harbor these vessels.
For I know
In those holds is sickness.
Crates of longing
Often opened, empty.
Barells upon barrels
Of jet black loneliness
Forever splashing, unsealed, seeping.
So like my dreams
These ships of her navy.
Christened with shades of she
"Lost Love", "my One", "my only",
"nevermore", "ever after"...
They set no sail
Anchored securely off my shores.
Out of reach
Yet constant in presence.
Seeking no barter, no passage...
No plunder.
Ghostlike they haunt
All of what I most want.
And dreams like mine
Always calling
Taunting those black sails
In windless waters
Embracing no breeze
Only serving to open old wounds
My spyglass weeps
Fixed on yesterhorizons
Where gone and do go
Phantoms and shades
My sea of regrets.
Jfehlmann

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"Empty Apologies" by: J Fehlmann

only a half truth,
. . . . . the practiced words
. . . . . . . . . . .  We say.

We. . . . . .
. . . . . . . the wicked,
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and corrupt.

The DISEASED,
. . . . . . . . and ADDICTED.

With words
. . . . . . . .  we find
. . . . . . . . . . . . .  why's
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  that we weave.

half truths. . . .
. . . . . . . .  with excuses.

. . . . . . . . . . . empty apologies. . . . . . . . . . . .

Deception
. . . . . . .  eases this guilt
. . . . . .  where
. . . . . . . . . ownership is needed.
It was me.
. . . . . .  I'm sorry.

. . . . . . . . . . . I AM sorry.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This IS me!

. . . . . . . . . . . . empty apologies. . . . . . . . . . .

Short comings, confessions, honesty

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

"What Cloth Am I Cut From" by: Jack Fehlmann

I have this ability,

Inside,

Within my very being...

A Gift?..
Talent...
A Skill, Yes...

Worthy of Honing.

This, my craft
I've come to love.
But it is so much more,

Much more,.

You may call my way
However you believe it to be...

But I hold it's secret.

See it for what it is,..
and it is Amazing,

It is Ancient, and Limitless...

To me, the one that wields it,
this blessing?.. I see, incredible things.

I alone, my inner eye,..

Then of nothing, shall I create something,..

Seen til this moment,...
By me, and me alone.

Now, made real by my magic,..
Physical, Real,..

Mysterious spells, and enchantments cast
upon, into, over and through it.

imagination, emotion, heart and soul,..

Do you see?... Gaze upon my artwork...

Inside of you, and you, and me...

Strings, and I manipulate, maneuver, Agitate,..
I Soothe, I sympathize, I celebrate,...

Surrendering myself, entirely,
I make each piece,..

These spells are made of every color.

Potions stirred into impossible textures.
Subject matters,..

Please Judge.
Please Critique,
Please, please, pretend
to know my reasons,..

I see the awe

See the hidden wonder...
what state of mind must mine be indeed.

See the cloth that made me,
Makes everything!

I am destined,
I have heard my calling...
Bottom, to Top,..
Roots, up,...

In love with my calling.

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

Caught Up in the Missing by Jack Fehlmann

caught up in the missing
all of the little things
the way that morning treated you
and every conversation
laughter, and that smile
those eyes, the lies
the closeness that i used to feel
your sweet, soft breath matching mine
the way you said my name sometimes
the time that went by to quickly
I even find myself holding out for you
caught up in the missing
it is hard to want anything
having had all that you wanted
and I did I cherished it
never took for granted
all the little things, your soft kisses
the promises and compromises
Every problem we ever faced
getting rent paid,
every goal we set and reached
the future you said that you wanted
caught up in missing
the way you changed
how you chose to leave
the ending and why it happened
the things I shoul've said
caught up in missing

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

Hold Close the Lesser Moments by: Jack Fehlmann

Hold it gentle
      It is so frail
Mirrored, thin, weightless
      Reflections within
Those are fleeting
      Nearly empty
They are both
      false and true
Distorted
Clearly seen
but unrelieved
maneuver the view
The lesser moments
hold them close
though shifted out of focus
blend worlds new
variant versions too perfect
Value dearly the truth
and then you
come into focus
I never do
My lesser moments

Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2013

About My Navel

About My Navel... by Jack Fehlmann

It is found at my center,
It acts as a reminder,
Of where I began,
Who I am from,
How it begins,
Was once an Inn-ie
Currently more an outt-ie
Forever the tether
and testament
to humble beginnings
And the parents that made me.

Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2014

what it is to feel alright

My mood again a steady constant
still low, always low but constant
so I seek the solutions, search for normal
I approach and offer myself over
to those, the better minds, the doctors
they are wise and educated and have magic
in the form of pills that I consume
reporting back the basics, this didn't work
that isn't helping so they raise and lower doses
prescribing cures in pills and always asking questions
writing this and that factual results down
they see errors in my mind and I feel restless
again and again changing their minds
as I consume and return the effectiveness or lack therein
all I ;want is the sky that felt light and tasted fragrant
yet so goes my search for my cure as each is different
seeking that fabled equalibrium, that balance
aiming for the land of sunshine and
the state known once as happiness
again, always where life is
and emotions can be steady, ups and downs
continuously changing in workable highs and lows
but alas, I am unable, and I continue only to try
the new, the stronger the most documented cure alls
of more pill to be taken with water day or night
forever dosing, hoping and trying to find my life
chasing that notion of what it is to feel alright

by
Jack Fehlmann
2013

#happiness #mental #and #health #stability #medications

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2014

The Day of Naming

This,..  My way,  my nature
Birthed to this,
My lineage,  this legacy,
Given,..  Named,..
Long ago,  our lines given
Titles, trades,  qualities,  dispositions
Earned, bestowed, deserved,  taken
It was a day of beginnings,
A day of firsts, lines created
It was a day of words
It says the day of naming.
Only are names given but that once
After that day,  one is born into
The name,  the legacy then passed
From generation to the next,
fathers and sons
My line: Fehlmann...
A man missing, or lost and searching?
Hiding?  Different?  A little off?
Perhaps indefinable?
Unreachable, exploring,  so misleading,
Misunderstood,  built different,  special
Untouchable, wandering,  leading?
I can't help but wonder,  why?  Those words?
Was my distant relative present?
What a puzzling choice of words to be given?  Or,  earned?

Thoughts on ancestry, bloodlines, family trees, names, surnames, why we are named these ways

#are #family #we #reasons #origins #meanings #surnames

Jack R Fehlmann Aug 2020

Choose

Choose.
by: Jack R. Fehlmann

Herald this golden new
Era in which We
The whole of Us
Side be side sharing
A culmination of such
limitless these Wiser ways of living
Sustainable priorities possible
Be Mindful with methods
and practice love, patience
Usher in A place for all
For all at long last
time is and is yet
present, A gift, treasured existence
disrobe this, our making
manifesting greedful, peril
A day is soon to pass
Dangerously proportionate
As upon such precipice
Not seen for lack of remembering
Forseen and fortold
Today or tomorrow
Forever in the balance
Choose.

— The End —