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mariano aponte Jan 2016
Misconceptions
Fasley smiles
Psychoanalyzed  

Could it be my OCDish

Would they agree or disagree
Respectfully  - with no referee

Whatever matter  - It doesn’t

Let it be
I’m carefree
It’s the best defense
Not a draftee

A perfectionist I am
It stems from many forces
My moral sense
At any expense
Not remorses

Their sweet jabs
From the start
Yes
From day one

Like Mr. Shukar - they see
I'm the new prospect

My disposition in scrutiny
As I take in with fluency
No unity
Let it be

I’ll take it in my dome
Its my best cover
Not styrofoam
I'll take it whichever way it's thrown

Please...

Pass the twisted news along
I continue staying strong
Detail-oriented is my syndrome
In times of War,
and in times of Woe,
we stumble cross this world
and down below

And in the deep
where all things sleep
we find vague secrets hurled
guarded by things that creep

When I read a paper, of the News,
I wearily read and yet joyfully snooze
I hear of stories filled with rage
and listen to pages that unto others abuse

and I say...

HAHAHA

Human fools, we are pathetic,
give up this world we know,
travel back, through time and space,
to ease the pain we've sworn to sew,

What in paitence lies with pity,
And in lying, animosity,
We cannot trust, or be trusted
And hide in cloaks from dignity

I am I guess a doomsayer,
as I like to say our doom;
It will come, by our wills done
And shall end the cycle of gloom

Even through negativity,
this white sail stand with truth,
We are poor and weak,
and surely deserve to fall from our peak..

And should you wonder why,
or how cruel of me to be?
Then ask yourself, or die,
How can you let THIS be?

When Humans have no love,
no patience for this Earth,
When grace is hunted with glove,
We've lost our lovely mirth..

When Humans care for torture,
***, Money and Power,
There is no greater torture
Then to suffer this hour through hour..

When Wars are fueled by anger,
wrought as steel, long ago,
Should we travel back this Danger,
and send it melting as the snow?

When the Economy is poisoned,
and the flag of Obama is soiled,
The truth in the cotton is marred,
and the Red White and Blue is by rage Boiled..

When Minds are swift as flies,
Yet can be stayed by petty lies,
or When these Lies
Act as flies,
they spread their wings with hate,
all across the state,
so that we may argue,
and that we may toil,
that we may blame for,
or that we may take from
And eventually desecrate

When Words are trusted fasley,
and from it lives took wrongly,
Who can we trust in this void
of life we too must rust?

When light of Moon
and Song of sun,
have in the dark fled far,

Wither we go, all abroad
Peace never shall be far,
Yet ever will be far
In this world we sadly mar.
River Oct 2018
How can you remember anything
when you’ve turned off your mind
How can you experience anything
when your heart is silenced?

How can you know who you are
when you’re a people pleaser
Smiling fasley
Averting your eyes to conceal your truth deep within

My words pour through me like clashing symbols
Desperately trying to make a statement
Seeking to grab my attention
But I’m elsewhere
I’m never here
Sometimes I subsist in reveries,
But mostly I suffer through nightmares
with eyes wide open

There is a sickness growing silently within me
But I’m not here to tend to it
I sometimes peel back my armor
and re-enter my body
when I’m with another person
whom I believe might be able to receive me fully,
Someone who could possibly see me and love me
But I’m left stranded
After courageously revealing my tender soul
I guess they were simply too blind to see
My pure, childlike beauty
So I stuff my real self down again,
Down underneath my false representative
Below the surface of my fake identity
Is the only place my real self will ever belong

But I can’t accept that,
It’s not my truth
Maybe social conditioning
tells me I must follow the rules
to fit in
But I don’t want to fit in anymore

I feel something rising within me,
Something latent that I’ve dismissed within me for so long
It is my battlecry,
It is my truest song
I just won’t allow fear to hold me back anymore
I’ve got this one life,
And what is it for?
I may have hit countless rock bottoms
But I’ll always rise,
For with every time I rise
I become stronger,
And wiser
And kinder,
Softer, more weathered
But humbled
With every instance my heart was cracked
It opened
Wider and wider

So you see,
I can’t be what you need me to be
I can’t go back to who I used to be
I must answer to this new life beckoning me
I must rise once again
To invite this process of becoming everything I am meant to be.
To defeat the darkness within me.

— The End —