"farage" poems - Hello Poetry

The Politician Nigel Farage, Fancied a saucy massage, He had quite a shock, As she couldn't see his **** Which she claimed "Was a mere mirage." JWS

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Apr 16, 2015

Apr 16, 2015 at 2:06 PM UTC

joe-wiltshire-smith

Nigel Farage, A Limerick.

The Politician Nigel Farage, Fancied a saucy massage, He had quite a shock, As she couldn't see his **** Which she claimed "Was a mere mirage." JWS

6

If you go down to Westminster today you're in for a big surprise If you can stand the stench, you will not believe your eyes For all the MPs who have lied and lied have all quit before the people uprise For this is the week that parliament collapses. ******** it time for the Blairites, who don't know who to back for their best ******** it time for the Tories, as Daves walked away from his mess The Labour deputy is such a coward and like the chancellor has lost his voice Because they realise the people no longer want them. So if you go south to parliament you best beware of knives Labour have turned into Tories and only Jezza survives. They think they can push him off a cliff, more chance of Dave being stuck in a pig The week the war came back to haunt the Blairites! But if go down to tip you hat and stand against Corbyn Beware back home they petittion to do you knees like you did his Your voters whom you have ignored and ignored are looking to throw you out the door So grab your coat and don't forget your sister!!!! But one more thing if you think this is cut and drawn Remember Farage, Boris Gove and the irritable bowel one None have so far grown a pair, they want to give someone else the blame Because half the country has changed its mind again!!!

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Jul 9, 2016

Jul 9, 2016 at 5:38 PM UTC

MichealWolf

The Westminster picnic

If you go down to Westminster today you're in for a big surprise If you can stand the stench, you will not believe your eyes For all the MPs who have lied and lied have all quit before the people uprise For this is the week that parliament collapses. ******** it time for the Blairites, who don't know who to back for their best ******** it time for the Tories, as Daves walked away from his mess The Labour deputy is such a coward and like the chancellor has lost his voice Because they realise the people no longer want them. So if you go south to parliament you best beware of knives Labour have turned into Tories and only Jezza survives. They think they can push him off a cliff, more chance of Dave being stuck in a pig The week the war came back to haunt the Blairites! But if go down to tip you hat and stand against Corbyn Beware back home they petittion to do you knees like you did his Your voters whom you have ignored and ignored are looking to throw you out the door So grab your coat and don't forget your sister!!!! But one more thing if you think this is cut and drawn Remember Farage, Boris Gove and the irritable bowel one None have so far grown a pair, they want to give someone else the blame Because half the country has changed its mind again!!!

20

-faking breaking news Hurray! The United Kingdom will become the 51st state of the USA. This decision has not been officially announced yet, but it will soon be done, according to our informal source near Prime Minister dr. Farage. "A newly independent nation needs a strong arm to guide its steps towards prosperity, " our beloved PM recently stated, so this move should not come as a surprise. Strong support We all know dr. Farage's sympathy for a strong and straight approach, which has only increased during the past three years of versatile and energetic priority swapping. The tremendous successes of this period were achieved also by the practical and moral support of our American friends. Therefore we are convinced that the proud accession to this successful union of states will re-energise our traditional institutions, thus supplying new vigour to the independence we won in the glorious year 2019. Just sign It is expected that mr. Kushner, US secretary of foreign affairs and acting vice-president, will soon invite our beloved PM to sign the treaty. US officials made it clear to us there is no need for the UK to worry about the details.The terms of the treaty will be completely defined at Trump Super Tower; all the UK will have to do is sign. This will help the UK to seamlessly become a highly successful and inseparable part of the prosperous United States. Highly valuable The safety of the UK will be guaranteed by the permanent presence of the US navy at Scapa Flow, where joint operations will be performed with Russian or EU fleets. And the Irish will be happy: the Irish border will be effectively removed since many (if not most) Irish people have become Americans long ago, and for many years the Republic of Ireland has been successfully advised by great US-based privately owned firms. These firms, that are also active in the UK, will turn the UK into a highly valuable hub between Europe and the US. For the first time in history EU citizens will be able to reach the USA by car only, via Ireland or the Calais-Dover tunnel. This will also be the preferred access method since public transport, and public services in general, are expected to be dismantled - for the benefit of us all.

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Jun 29, 2019

Jun 29, 2019 at 4:58 PM UTC

feggyr-citack

UK 2022

-faking breaking news Hurray! The United Kingdom will become the 51st state of the USA. This decision has not been officially announced yet, but it will soon be done, according to our informal source near Prime Minister dr. Farage. "A newly independent nation needs a strong arm to guide its steps towards prosperity, " our beloved PM recently stated, so this move should not come as a surprise. Strong support We all know dr. Farage's sympathy for a strong and straight approach, which has only increased during the past three years of versatile and energetic priority swapping. The tremendous successes of this period were achieved also by the practical and moral support of our American friends. Therefore we are convinced that the proud accession to this successful union of states will re-energise our traditional institutions, thus supplying new vigour to the independence we won in the glorious year 2019. Just sign It is expected that mr. Kushner, US secretary of foreign affairs and acting vice-president, will soon invite our beloved PM to sign the treaty. US officials made it clear to us there is no need for the UK to worry about the details.The terms of the treaty will be completely defined at Trump Super Tower; all the UK will have to do is sign. This will help the UK to seamlessly become a highly successful and inseparable part of the prosperous United States. Highly valuable The safety of the UK will be guaranteed by the permanent presence of the US navy at Scapa Flow, where joint operations will be performed with Russian or EU fleets. And the Irish will be happy: the Irish border will be effectively removed since many (if not most) Irish people have become Americans long ago, and for many years the Republic of Ireland has been successfully advised by great US-based privately owned firms. These firms, that are also active in the UK, will turn the UK into a highly valuable hub between Europe and the US. For the first time in history EU citizens will be able to reach the USA by car only, via Ireland or the Calais-Dover tunnel. This will also be the preferred access method since public transport, and public services in general, are expected to be dismantled - for the benefit of us all.

9

Nothing's left but it's alright Have a voice Give an opinion Express yourself Lay yourself bare I'll tell you a story of a boy His family are farmers - conservatives At the bottom of the lane, the pub used to burn a cross on bonfire night. It held the letters KWW - Keep Waterside White His Grandma is agoraphobic, xenophobic and racist who told him in no uncertain terms not to marry a black girl Before he passed away, his grandad would shoot at people searching for magic mushrooms on their land His father liked Thatcher, criticised the miners and the unions and was a casual homophobe His mother judges women by appearance and thinks Nigel Farage is a decent bloke. Her place is in the home. His brother works for the police His sister rides horses One uncle is a millionaire and CEO The other believes that mental illness does not exist and its treatment is dangerous The boy is christened, confirmed, went to an all white, Christian primary school and predominantly white, Christian secondary school. He left secondary school and college with no qualifications through the arts. Only the important subjects. There is another story about this boy but for now we will look only at these facts. It may create an image in your mind It would be easy to condemn this story Sure enough it was condemned By those who held the moral right Opinions stronger than people The boy grew fearful of people Tried to hide his story Became silent Shut off from the world Thought of the ways he could end the pain Sought to become a different person To deny his past Outwardly this worked Inwardly... People believed the moral of the story was that he had overcome They missed the point Inwardly... Sometimes, the majority ... Can feel like the minority If I said all of that, could I still express myself? Would you listen? Or would I be condemned?

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Aug 19, 2016

Aug 19, 2016 at 7:38 AM UTC

matthew-james

Nothing's Left but it's Alright

Nothing's left but it's alright Have a voice Give an opinion Express yourself Lay yourself bare I'll tell you a story of a boy His family are farmers - conservatives At the bottom of the lane, the pub used to burn a cross on bonfire night. It held the letters KWW - Keep Waterside White His Grandma is agoraphobic, xenophobic and racist who told him in no uncertain terms not to marry a black girl Before he passed away, his grandad would shoot at people searching for magic mushrooms on their land His father liked Thatcher, criticised the miners and the unions and was a casual homophobe His mother judges women by appearance and thinks Nigel Farage is a decent bloke. Her place is in the home. His brother works for the police His sister rides horses One uncle is a millionaire and CEO The other believes that mental illness does not exist and its treatment is dangerous The boy is christened, confirmed, went to an all white, Christian primary school and predominantly white, Christian secondary school. He left secondary school and college with no qualifications through the arts. Only the important subjects. There is another story about this boy but for now we will look only at these facts. It may create an image in your mind It would be easy to condemn this story Sure enough it was condemned By those who held the moral right Opinions stronger than people The boy grew fearful of people Tried to hide his story Became silent Shut off from the world Thought of the ways he could end the pain Sought to become a different person To deny his past Outwardly this worked Inwardly... People believed the moral of the story was that he had overcome They missed the point Inwardly... Sometimes, the majority ... Can feel like the minority If I said all of that, could I still express myself? Would you listen? Or would I be condemned?

39

Jungle bells are ringing out across the nation, Boris is to play Santa Claws this year, so, reinforce your stockings. Corbyn is going to be Scrooge in The Christmas Carol, hoping to cook Johnson's goose which he will share with the hungry. Arlene Foster will be filling the empty pies with minced words which are to be served in Bowler Hats avec blue berries. Sturgeon is going to Hog as Many votes as possible while the rest are gorging to the Pogues Fairytale of New York & London. The Lib-Dems have an anthem by Jo Swine Song about spit roasting a Pig in the stocks outside Downing St. Syndrome. The Greens are looking for this years largest Cucumber which they have decided to stuff. They have declined to say where. Cymru Plaid's have decided to make woollen scarves for the homeless Corgi's after the Queen is evicted from Buckingham Palace. Nigh Gel Farage is going to lubricate a Tusk and shove it up Barnier's (( in the presence of Jean Claude Coke Nose Junkier.

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Oct 30, 2019

Oct 30, 2019 at 6:48 AM UTC

ryan-olearyuu

12th Day of Brexmess

Jungle bells are ringing out across the nation, Boris is to play Santa Claws this year, so, reinforce your stockings. Corbyn is going to be Scrooge in The Christmas Carol, hoping to cook Johnson's goose which he will share with the hungry. Arlene Foster will be filling the empty pies with minced words which are to be served in Bowler Hats avec blue berries. Sturgeon is going to Hog as Many votes as possible while the rest are gorging to the Pogues Fairytale of New York & London. The Lib-Dems have an anthem by Jo Swine Song about spit roasting a Pig in the stocks outside Downing St. Syndrome. The Greens are looking for this years largest Cucumber which they have decided to stuff. They have declined to say where. Cymru Plaid's have decided to make woollen scarves for the homeless Corgi's after the Queen is evicted from Buckingham Palace. Nigh Gel Farage is going to lubricate a Tusk and shove it up Barnier's (( in the presence of Jean Claude Coke Nose Junkier.

32

Poubelle Corbyn, recycle your compost, it is the dung thing in your position. The See - Saw has come to a halt, out weighed by May, thus leaving you high and sly. Go back to your allotment, try and grow yourself a pumpkin for Halloween and don't forget a penny for the Guy, that'll be Farage, with the Ni- Gel, for shafting you all and rightly so!

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May 27, 2019

May 27, 2019 at 12:37 PM UTC

ryan-olearyuu

Ni - Gel.

Poubelle Corbyn, recycle your compost, it is the dung thing in your position. The See - Saw has come to a halt, out weighed by May, thus leaving you high and sly. Go back to your allotment, try and grow yourself a pumpkin for Halloween and don't forget a penny for the Guy, that'll be Farage, with the Ni- Gel, for shafting you all and rightly so!

12