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Mateuš Conrad Aug 2018
. i'm not against psychedelics... ****... syringe in excesses of LSD... but memory is also a psychedelic drug... albeit there is no excess of colors, and it's not b & w, but sepia tinged... i like the notion of a sepia curtain... maybe that's why i have my head ******* on so tight, and a hardened heart, to be able to write this... while others write, having drunk as much as i have, like kindergarten 5 year old, children!

i'm not here for the 80+ years that don't matter,
lying lethargic, semi-conscious,
demented, in a care home bed
where i'm abused for ******* my nappies...
i'm here...
   for the 16 or so years that really matter...
hence?
   i like to watch the metamorphosis of skin...
i never understood women who
cut and wait for some"magical" revelation
of internalized pain...
   those four stumps worth of knuckles
upon which i exhausted the amber of
a cigarette burning?
   second look?
      nice to see the many layers of skins,
prior to, and not including the bone...
     liver damage, whatever, bring it on...
i'm waiting...
  i can't, but i'm hoping...
to sow unto my skin the faint tincture
of a gangrene tattoo to
boast ink in Frankenstein green...
mingling with tongue numbing
yuck of bruise plum, and a dash of
Vishnu blue...
       oh i'm waiting: i can't wait...
   death is such a farce:
like i explained to my mother...
  you know... sometimes you're after
the pain: since you've reprogrammed
yourself, to enjoy it...
                  no, no *****-whipping
wimp diarrhea -
   i want the "furry" liver...
              i'm waiting, and i'm waiting...
and...
            nose-bleeds are past my worries...
i've had one in school, during
english class...
    no problem...
  can you believe it?
my neighbor's cat, Bella,
an albino climbed roofs, climbed into
chimneys...
   was knocked by a car,
presumably...
               and is in need of an operation,
might have one of her hind legs
amputated...
but she's also anemic...
so she might die during the operation...
poor ******, she...
                    heterochromic to boot...
      the sort of beast, which,
if being a Saudi Sheikh...
you'd love to put an Afghani burqa
over...
            Fonz... eeeeeeeeeee...
why bother with a counter argument?
the European variant of the niqab is
already in place...
sorry... the women you see in movies
or *****? ever see the same quality
shopping for underwear?
      not once...
                 it's such a sad little world
out there, jealous men...
who can't afford keeping
            castrato men for their, "harems",
and, evidently, don't poke enough
****** to keep the concubines entertained,
whole strap-on ******?
well... they're just strap-on ******...
ha ha!
                  ha ha ha ha!
        oh sure, i'm a loser, honey bee...
point being: i much prefer the company
of whiskey to that of a woman...
oops... did i say something, sheepish,
i.e. b'aah b'aah b'aad?!
   couldn't figure out the stuttering A
in diacritical markings...
since there isn't one...

   as i asked my Jewish convert into Islam...
i don't mind the Quran...
but what's your opinion on the, Hadith?
no answer... dumb look...
akin to: how do you know about that?
it's my eight's in a row right
to know what i consider, hostile.

         well, given that in Hindu...
the H... is a surd, rather than an authentic letter...
e.g.? dhaal...           that veggie
curry made from lentils?
there's no H in the name...
it's not a letter... it's an orthographic
inclusion of: consonant (d), surd (h)
                      vowel(s) (a, a), consonant (L)...
unless you of course deduce
there being a microcosm of the macron
hovering about one of the A,
deducing the other A is not necessary...
i drink...
because my excuse rests on the argument:
i'm not here for the 80+ years,
a life filled with an exhausted memory
bank,
    that is of no use
when it doesn't allow itself an
immediacy of convergence in
    what bicycles are founded upon:
teeth and chain, overlapping...
immediacy of overlapping -
memory... that alternative to psychedelic drugs...
some people take this over-bountiful
drugs to exemplify colors,
hyper-inflate them...
i just remember,
   and i know what memory is,
compared to the educational rubric
of, say, learning the Pythagorean equation,
how modern schooling is...
primarily?
   a memory erosion tool,
of a personal life, but more esp.,
  a childhood...
                  you want a drug more
potent than the Amsterdam legal mushroom?
RE-MEM-BER.
               like i said:
i can do what others won't do in
80 years... i can be content with
the zenith of doing what i do,
within a space of what excess drinking
allows me...
      the rest?
   either nostalgia... or regret;
i don't have the time preference to entertain
either...
esp. if what awaits me is
a sober case of dementia,
   and bedsores (odleżyny)...
             but sure, **** me,
go for it!
                   i pray to god that i managed
to fulfill my "evil genius" plan,
of drinking myself to death...
**** it... i have to match the sensible
life expectancy of the poorest of
the poorest African nations...
    don't really feel like living up
to the European turtle, neck,
demands for glorifying medicinal advancements.
Ken Pepiton Aug 2022
Missed perception,
missed conception,
missed implication,

fists exist in the womb,
we see the mechanical means to hold

that wind.
Aha, you see, my role depends, hangs
from you,
a drip of sense, per haps the stuff
called gnosisnot…

Aitia, as a word, or a line
Aitia, assumes you see the tia-

Matters not, a disconnected god idea
Tia mat, aitia, shush a by, hush at best
- blow the man down
beastly idea, I owe you, payback
for the lies I told as knowns you knew…

THINGS, substantial things,
things of substance, faith , hope, agape
ape, naked
theories of time and chance and measure-
oh sure,
any line can make a reason, hooks you see,
infer reference to reasons, to fold
as indicated
along the dotted line.
-----------------

Friction is resistance, feel, the urge
to not let go,

at the edge of understanding as standing
under pouring rain, rain we all must use,

we are forms for water, once rain, many times,
to imagine with,
as one think links another, and sense of tow,
pulling
dragging, friction
from fictional characters, abstractions,
ones of one of thoses,
wit-minds they own,
living as aimed,
from most recent reset, empirical
lesson learned life. Per-ifery vision,
pulls the eye to see a certainly meaningless bird.

Pauselah and all, meaning being nothing alone.
-------------------------

Dune, dam the sand, didn't we--
the powers that be pushing cinema,

emotion enhanced shared experience
with strangers, in the dark, attention
focus, extend
to Netflix, and ever after, not the sameness/
- relatively tiny frames of focus,
- re imagine Monument Valley on a tablet.
The show-business intention was artful,
expose the world to panoramic vision,
from Universal Studios, et cetera,

and Radio Knock Outs, every body re-
cognates, co-gnosis, lock, looking
out, from Kansas City, or Kiev
- there is no time like the present
- we developed in, to occupy
- busy as a we/
- this is surreal, so clear and sharp
(rest perspective to default} - that should say
RESET
In the story we lived in, in the Bible,
fully functional for cultural via-ducting
truth, and nothing but the truth, so
line upon line
help me, God. I heard it's said the riches
of the wicked are laid up for the just,
so…
just, child lesson, see so, as a child,
- But Job answered and said,
Oh that my grief were throughly weighed,
and my calamity laid in the balances together!

For now it would be heavier
than the sand of the sea:
therefore my words are swallowed up.

yes, child,
imagine all the sand on all the shores.

As seen on TV, by nearly all the eight billion,
needed to make up our next cosmic byte…

If we get back
to aitia, we can ask for judgement…

come,
let us reason
together, through all cutting off of fluency,

we advance a means, and idly add a concept,
ways, as if we are the ways
and means committee,
co meaning like a way one hand may
wash the other, as
co-operation, brain and extentions,
-ygnowaddameans, aug-mental
tension,
cur- ma'dam cure eeeeeeeeeee
easy ease, re loose the captives,
let the o-pressed go free….

loose the fist locked and cocked, wave…

Think along the lines in times, whenever,
just now,
you watch raindrops wind a way to an edge
& plop, sound magnified
as in a bull-barn, plop… what scale are we?
-present tense
very insignificant… considering ants as

Ant-man, mirror neuronal echoes,
how will those effect my grand children.

RIP Stan Lee, you really tweakt my head.

-- this can't be default, we can't hold the idea…

The fullness of the godhead, ******, right.

That is expansive. Believe me, we survive.
While watching some you tube intellectuals ply their craft, I fell into a
we wondering, once again, if wedoms to share minds held in memory of times, do expand to fill the bubble of all any one of us may use to hold
- one good reason.
I'm going mad
Am I just f~ckin slow
or are these mozzies
on some kind of speed trip?

Irritating Sopranos

‘‘T.. eeeeeeeeeeeeee’’

The ..

Flash
~
   dash
~~
     vanish
~~~

Every swat I make
just goes to waste.
T... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Flash dash Vanish
Youdont Needthis Jan 2017
Vitiate the hull of mutton
Taste the stringy woman lungs
Suffocating in coiling scaly black tar demon ***** smoke
The voluptuous carpentry is anxiously hyperventilating
Your throat is baby xylophone
You teeth are fuzzy rabbits
Their fur is thick and itchy upon your tongue

The slide of octopus silk is massaging the nerves to pointy slumber
Deep in the cauldron the baleen gates are straw and rapidly parting
For some reason they won’t swim up
You taste salt’s bite
Emerge from the sea before you drown
You silly fool

Pilgrims are waging the mass death
Great lynches mandated by God
Wailing with stinking dying young
Having a picnic at the gallows

Whiskey shivers alive
Boiling and screaming in tongues
Strobing from inhuman pain to morphine stupor’s loving numb

Your ****** is a pastor
Your child is the angel that keeps you from returning home to rosy Eden

Eve
Your families’ legs are sewn in a knot
They are frantically dancing the reel of the beheaded roach
Untie their rainbow thighs
To pay penance for your grave disobedience

Apologize to your hardworking father
He’s doing the best he can
Forgive your ungrateful daughter
Adam
Cain
David

Washroom
Pam is crying
Towels are crying
Soap is laughing
I’m laughing  
You’re Pam

You are mouse and you are crumb
Yellow red striped glaucous cat
The fawn’s neck pulsing thick with squirming lump of rat

Realize
This is all occurring
In the wan lakes of your lady eyes
Seventy six have you
Love
****
Breed

The paper walls are breathing in melodic unison with
Thee

You are the Christian
Frantic running from the lion’s jaws
You are bored and waiting for the Greek tragedy
You are Hindu
Attempting to dodge Britain’s guns
You mercilessly ram the bayonet into his muddy wrinkly face

You see the assassin firing
See the bullets pierce
Yet all you feel is your index finger hooking the smooth trigger
And the rough handle of the handgun

The black eared checkered cat
Hissing with xiphoid lizard teeth
Not pretty enough to support your drug religion

Hungers for smiling child
Hungers for drowning fear
Glazed on tattered wings of shredded feathers  
The hot slaughtered meat

Escape the toilet’s screaming
It needs
Exact
Change
The sink bedpan is overflowing with bleeding
Singing
Roses

Air is acid breakfast scented cereal *****

This film is bad it’s bad
It’s Nixon
Lenin
Jackie
Gein

EEEEEEEEEEE
A high pitched eerie screeching
Pitch shifted hymns echoing in Westminster

Your sister the spinster of my festering whisker!

Sacrifice your schedule to the great lord Day Plan
Burn the calendar
Burn the crying trees and their hair accessories

Tiny arms are sprouting from your fingers with their own tiny hands
Tiny arms from their fingers are growling with gushing stumps

A body within a body’s body
You are the human macrophage
Be a cannibal when you grow up

You realize your son isn’t yours
He’s the ******* of your rival pack
Become Cronos with radiant mane and the hairs of the velvet sun

Across the wood frame mirror
You see me smear
The graffiti crooked and huge black words
God is great
Get the pants
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
Alone in our house. Isolating in a quite room. Feeling so hurt, knowing what's going on echoes in my head and it's loud. I wanna scream and pout. She seems to be happier, I seem to be feeling crappier.
"What'd you wanna eat? What are we watching"
Me: " just put on the norm"
Always knowing what to eat and drink together with out communicating. I'm laying in bad alone feeling my darling deteriorating.
"I love you honey eeeeeeeeeee, he kissed me"
(Reality)
sob "**** what do i do?"
I need you now, I'm freaking out. But I've got to let you be happy. I'm no longer a happy memory. Feels like you wanna forget about me.
"Oh kissed a smile bbbbiiiitch"
(Reality)
Heavy breathing with a sob
"Why doesn't she love me anymore? Does she mean it anymore when she says it?"
I'm replaying the times we had, cherished every kiss with some cute notes pressed to my lips. Clinging on to clothes because they smell like home. The last time i hugged her my teats grazed her cheek. Since then she hardly wanted to speak. Don't blame her now, I'm a ******* wreck and i wouldn't wanna speak to me neither. It's what happens when the past me is defined as a cheater.
giggles*
"You're handsome, MINE"
sigh
"Hehe he kissed me"
(Reality)
I just wish she'd love me the way i still love her. Impossible to let go. I'm laying in bed drowing my pillow. Singing the love songs we use to sing too. Now I'm crying and sobbing because it's now something I'm a always do thinking of you.

— The End —