FACE-IT

              Fix- it

      Don't -force- it
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Show- it and embrace- it

Facing a timeless jade
Old show façade
Not a test or a grade
Is it old Holiday Parade?
Old show face privacy
Confidence meet bravery
Facelift grave yard shift
  
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Oldster-Hipster-once
A-Youngster-Cra­nkier
Scrooge old geezer
*             *
Old City Mobster
Old show face
Gets riskier on the run
Once young gun

Serene but sassier
Getting up earlier
New show wiser
In the right place
Old show face

It's the way you genuinely laugh at my minute misfortunes.
It's the way you dance to your odd music, carelessly.
It's the way you looked at me.
It's the way you dedicate yourself to a task to a point where nothing else exists.
It's the way you let me talk, talk some more, and keep talking until I'm done. No interruptions.
It's the way you were honest with me.
It's the way you were patient and persistent.
It's the way you impulsively decided we should go swimming.
It's the way you would lead, the way you would always go first.
It's the way you forgave me.
It's the way you tolerated who I am, and how you still do so.
It's the way you get really cranky at 2 am.
It's the way you get even crankier when I tell you things you don't want to hear.
It's the way you would listen with the intent to respond with something meaningful.
It's the way you would indulge my interests without complaints.
It's the way you continue to be my friend.
It's the way you say good bye.
It's the way your eyes don't have a definitive color.
It's the way you look when you first wake up. It makes me laugh.
It's the way you REALLY enjoy TV.
It's the way you love your family.
It's the way you dress and present yourself.
It's the way you listen to peculiar music.
It's the way you make long drives fun, and mildly dangerous.
It's the way you were sure that you liked me, no questions about it. You liked me and that was that.
It's the way you look in the rain.
It's the way you don't understand that I think the world of you.
It is the way you are, and I like that.

He fell away with his uffish head all full
and he bought what we couldn’t buy him and
he didn’t buy what we swallowed whole
or at least he sold it back or gave it away
for vorpal heresies & novel fascinations

And just like we taught him to ride the red
a few swipes away from bankruptcy and desolation
but welcome and chortled to fail if that’s
easier for now than climbing the Tumtum tree
or trying to make it in this world
well fed - given all to eat and truly loved

It’s curious how the rain gyred down today
and stopped and came again and stopped
because the cadence of his windshield wipers
seemed to coincide with the crankier parts:
only working when there’s nothing left to wipe

We don’t even give two ***** if a Jubjub bird
falls dead and he whiffles away, sword
between his legs (though that is dangerous)
and the beast escapes. He can eat the **** bird
for all we care, but for sustenance, not triumph

But our son is still lost; he’s frabjously
writhing in the tulgey fiber of disappointment
unable to slay even the puniest of borogoves
His melancholy surpasses all comprehension
and he isn’t coming home any time soon

He’s not galumphing back.

What use is a mimsy rhyme to the famished?
How often are we warned, beamishly chastised
of the brillig peril of worrying ourselves
with feeding the slithy soul
when the body burbles, always demands to eat first
and is satisfied by no less
than the frumious flesh of the fatted calf?

Dear Momma~
  
  I was a happy kid growing up. No doubt about it. My teachers loved the smiles and joy I brought them, every day, even when I was dead tired and crankier than anything. They loved my endless joy.
   After a while, they started seeing the black eyes and bruises all along my body. I still smiled, even when they knew that I was dying.
   I was always scared of coming home, for fear of what kind of mood you were going to be in. I always thought I was going to die that night, but somehow I didn’t.
   I couldn’t sit still in class anymore, because it was so painful to sit down.
   They started to really notice, when I cried for the first, instead of smiling, when the roll was being called.
   I never told them what was going on, because you always told me that if I told anyone, you would **** me.
   When I got assigned a project to do about child abuse, I tried to get out of it, but I couldn’t.
   I didn’t need no Prezi, I was my own Prei. I was the living proof!
    I aced that presentation and got sent to live somewhere else, but after a while, you found where I was, and beaten me, until I was coughing up blood. I coughed up blood for a month!
   I wanted to **** myself, cutting and pills became my best friend.
   I was terrified of closing my eyes. I was terrified of playing soccer. I was terrified to even stay on the soccer team!
   For a minute, I thought the worse was over.
  I was terribly wrong.
   You turned to drinking and you because more violent. I was now at the hospital every month, because of you.
    I thought ripping my ACL was painful, but what you did to me, was so much worse.
   I ended up believing that I was going to die before the age of 20, because of how violent you were.
    I hated you for so much, I can’t even begin to describe what you have done.
    I was the kid falling asleep in class and getting sent to the office every day, because I couldn’t fall asleep in my own bed.
    They saw me as a troubled kid. I was so happy, Momma! You stripped me of my joy.
   You stripped me naked and left me out to dry! You didn’t even care how I felt, as long your needs were satisfied!
   I’ve never wanted to be miserable. I never wanted to be insured. I never wanted to feel like I was never going to be with it.
   You never once told me that you loved me.
  I became afraid of the world. I didn’t want be caught off guard this much. I didn’t want to be like this, Momma, but I am!
   You never once told me that you were proud of me!
   I wasn’t suppose to grow up afraid! I was so happy and you stripped it all away.
   You made me feel guilty for all the wrong reasons and it never got easier, as I got older.
   I stopped smiling and laughing. I was still part of the crowd, but they’ve noticed just how angry I was. They all tried to help, but I didn’t want any help.
    I always tried to fight this abuse on my own, but when I woke up in the hospital, I understood that I couldn’t.
   You really broke me, then, Momma. I never thought that the Devil would be my best friend.
   I had people tell me about Christ, yet I didn’t believe He existed. I went to church, but I was so overly angry at Him, I didn’t want to believe there was such a thing as a God.
    I blamed God for what you’ve been doing to me. People loved you, but I hated you.
   As many friends as I brought home, just to work on drills for soccer, because we had the biggest backyard, you would always made sure, that you were on your best behavior. They all thought you were the greatest parent alive. They didn’t know what I had to suffer, in order for you to be happy.
    You made sure I had clean clothes, showered, and looked presentable when I went out, but I couldn’t hide the bruises that were deep and dark all over my skin, the cuts, the casts, the damage that you have done to me- I couldn’t hide it.
   I wanted someone to know the truth.
   I loved you and I forgave you over and over again, as I do today.
    All I wanted to hear you say was “I love you,” but instead I’ve gotten, “I hate you.”
   I just wanted you to be proud of me, Momma, but instead I spent seven years, being beaten to death.
   Please forgive me for not being the child you wished you had all along. I didn’t mean to make you angry.
   I don’t think I can fake it anymore. I’m broken, inside and out, this is my goodbye
  I love you, Momma. I hope you’re happy now.
  
~Jo

Captured in the psych ward



Today Ron was busy when a former personal trainer/strongman was admitted into the ward, his name was Benjamin Parker and Ron was wondering why he would groom young girls online and Ben said
I felt lonely and bored and a tad sad and I always had people tease me when I was young, and Ron said is that a perfect reason to groom a child online and Ben said I wanted to one day to have kids and I never was in a good relationship with and Ron said
You do know that it was wrong for you to do that and I think you have a psychosis problem which abilify could help in making you show remorse
And whilst Ron was talking Ben was texting his best client saying you need to keep up your exercise and Ron said you know you won’t get your job back
Because you will never be able to work with vonerable people and Ben said GET ****** I am not giving up my life because some quack told me too and Ron went on his break and went to his cafe to talk to his friends and without saying his name he said this former strongman/personal trainer is getting crankier and crankier with him because I want to help him and they said what did he do and Ron said groom a child online and they said that is awful and Ron went back to the ward to prepare the abilify and epplim to get his mind totally clear and then Ron said to Ben you will be in here for as long as it takes for you to get better, you know talk about what you did and realise you were wrong and Ben said well, my mum loves me and so does my dad and my family have my back, I want to have a girlfriend but the only girls for me are online and Ron said yes, but it is wrong what you did, I need to understand why you did it
Facebook and messenger can be dangerous ways to meet the opposite *** especially when you could be risking your life or freedom, ever thought of going to the pub or meeting place rather than online
Because you were talking to these girls for a very long time and I ain’t happy with the information you gave me and then Ben said I like kids
They are cute, they are sexier than adults because kids listen to my training tips and adults don’t, well, some do but they are the nice ones
But I thought that kid really understood me and I understood her and when I asked to meet her she got all fucken defensive and I know this is wrong but she wanted it I can tell
And Ron said ok, I will start you on the pills, and let me know if you get anymore thoughts and Ben said ok
But I ain’t finished with you, you see I was visioning a **** young wife who could give me plenty of children and Ron said that girls father wanted to punch you, and you are in here for your own protection and Ron clocked off and bought a pizza and went home to watch the AFLW hoping his fave team wins