He sat in the barracks
Comtemplating over
His life
Relationships
Watching many of his friends die
Some in his arms
Others before his eyes
What hurt him the most
He had no one to call his own
Back home
He shed his tears for his comrades
Behind closed doors
He never wished to be seen crying
For in his mind he thought emotions
Were his weakness

As he sat on his bed
His thoughts drifted to his relationships
Many women had come in and out
Of his life
Hurt and destroyed him
Both mentally and emotionally
Until he met a woman
That even though she was married
And had her own problems
They became very close friends

He tried having several other girlfriends
But they threatened to hurt themselves
If they didnt hear from him
While he was overseas
He found it rather annoying
So the only one he talked to
Was his best friend
They would laugh and flirt around
In a sense it helped him
Get his mind off the battlefield

Other women came into his life
And did the same as the others
As time wore on his best friend
Stood beside him
Silently watching
Little did he know she was more valuable
To him
He realized she had done something
The others could not do
Through everything
She had taken his heart without him
Even knowing

Over time he cherished her more
He longed to hold her close
To keep her safe
But he didnt want to make her choose
He knew someone would end up hurt
He just didnt want it to be her

So he decided to wait
And to this day he waits
For the love that seemed so far away
For inside he was
A Lost Soldier
With a heart
Full of Hidden Wounds.

From the moment we become live,
Death is waiting.

Tracking..
Chasing..

Shadowing us throughout our lives from the sanctuary of darkness.

From dusty corners and darkened alley ways..

He watches, the Reaper waits...

It's all a part of his game love.
Were all just a pawn in play.

While he's,

Waiting..
Debating..

Whether he's..
Already grown tired of your existance.

Comtemplating..

Whether he's..
Decided to end your life, upon this very night.

So live each day as if it was your last, my friend..

Because your time,
It very well may have already run out...

He left me deserted in a field of endless fog,
Turned the car around and left me,
All because I whispered, "I hate you,"
And so desperately yearned to rome free.
So I walk through the unknown,
With only the clothes on my back,
But where was I going?
For I hadn't kept track.
I looked of the colors green, blue and purple,
Of endless bruises everywhere,
My back, face, neck, and heart,
And desperate love, in the air
Why should I cry my misery away?
Too exhausted from all the pain,
I'm too hurt for love,
That marked its permanent stain.
Haven't cracked a smile in years,
Since my father exploited me,
Feelings that I was worthless controlled me,
I am heartbroken, you see.
Who am I anymore?
Isolated in the midst of despair,
Hurt on the outside and inside,
Every wound inplanted, ever tear.
I walked through a path of misery,
Comtemplating a life I never had,
A life that shrouded my mind,
From an ashamed, cold-hearted dad

clean smells
like freshly laundered clothes
and crisp rose buds
assault my nose on days like this,
pungently reminding me
of the days when I knew you
and
our pure happiness,
the smiling secrets;
the tarnished reflection of our deceptions.
I felt something deep for you,
as cavernouse as an oceanic crevass,
a wide pit of affection
that breached both time and distance
and caused a wild throbbing in my heart
when I saw you;
now brushed away like cobwebs
in an empty room-
stuffed in a box to sit there until
the hatred fades,
the flames burn out-
until the sobs in my throat are silenced.
Days like this remind me of -
the way you smiled so crookedly
the dark brown of your eyes warmly comtemplating mine
     the lips I could draw from memory-
the things you were hiding from me,
                   the dark betrayal that waited in your head
        the wilting rose that grew in our garden-
the heart that I never should have placed in your hands.
I yearned for you,
I lived for you,
I hurt for you-
all for empty promises
and lies.
I paid penance for sins I never committed,
for falsehoods I never believed,
all in the name of our love.
Days like this hurt more than my eyes,
the grey rain falling down
over and over into my pitted and ***-holed memories
determined to make my healing chest
ache again,
as life exacts what I don't want to pay-
A tithe of lost love.