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‘Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis
vidi in ampulla pendere, et *** illi pueri dicerent:
Sibylla ti theleis; respondebat illa: apothanein thelo.’

                For Ezra Pound
                il miglior fabbro


I. The Burial of the Dead

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Starnbergersee
With a shower of rain; we stopped in the colonnade,
And went on in sunlight, into the Hofgarten,
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.
Bin gar keine Russin, stamm’ aus Litauen, echt deutsch.
And when we were children, staying at the archduke’s,
My cousin’s, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony *******? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
            Frisch weht der Wind
            Der Heimat zu
            Mein Irisch Kind,
            Wo weilest du?
‘You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
‘They called me the hyacinth girl.’
—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.
Oed’ und leer das Meer.

Madame Sosostris, famous clairvoyante,
Had a bad cold, nevertheless
Is known to be the wisest woman in Europe,
With a wicked pack of cards. Here, said she,
Is your card, the drowned Phoenician Sailor,
(Those are pearls that were his eyes. Look!)
Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card,
Which is blank, is something he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself:
One must be so careful these days.

Unreal City,
Under the brown fog of a winter dawn,
A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many,
I had not thought death had undone so many.
Sighs, short and infrequent, were exhaled,
And each man fixed his eyes before his feet.
Flowed up the hill and down King William Street,
To where Saint Mary Woolnoth kept the hours
With a dead sound on the final stroke of nine.
There I saw one I knew, and stopped him, crying ‘Stetson!
‘You who were with me in the ships at Mylae!
‘That corpse you planted last year in your garden,
‘Has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?
‘Or has the sudden frost disturbed its bed?
‘Oh keep the Dog far hence, that’s friend to men,
‘Or with his nails he’ll dig it up again!
‘You! hypocrite lecteur!—mon semblable,—mon frère!’

II. A Game of Chess

The Chair she sat in, like a burnished throne,
Glowed on the marble, where the glass
Held up by standards wrought with fruited vines
From which a golden Cupidon peeped out
(Another hid his eyes behind his wing)
Doubled the flames of sevenbranched candelabra
Reflecting light upon the table as
The glitter of her jewels rose to meet it,
From satin cases poured in rich profusion;
In vials of ivory and coloured glass
Unstoppered, lurked her strange synthetic perfumes,
Unguent, powdered, or liquid—troubled, confused
And drowned the sense in odours; stirred by the air
That freshened from the window, these ascended
In fattening the prolonged candle-flames,
Flung their smoke into the laquearia,
Stirring the pattern on the coffered ceiling.
Huge sea-wood fed with copper
Burned green and orange, framed by the coloured stone,
In which sad light a carved dolphin swam.
Above the antique mantel was displayed
As though a window gave upon the sylvan scene
The change of Philomel, by the barbarous king
So rudely forced; yet there the nightingale
Filled all the desert with inviolable voice
And still she cried, and still the world pursues,
‘Jug Jug’ to ***** ears.
And other withered stumps of time
Were told upon the walls; staring forms
Leaned out, leaning, hushing the room enclosed.
Footsteps shuffled on the stair.
Under the firelight, under the brush, her hair
Spread out in fiery points
Glowed into words, then would be savagely still.

‘My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
‘Speak to me. Why do you never speak. Speak.
‘What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
‘I never know what you are thinking. Think.’

I think we are in rats’ alley
Where the dead men lost their bones.

‘What is that noise?
                          The wind under the door.
‘What is that noise now? What is the wind doing?’
                    Nothing again nothing.
                                                    ‘Do
‘You know nothing? Do you see nothing? Do you remember
‘Nothing?’

    I remember
Those are pearls that were his eyes.
‘Are you alive, or not? Is there nothing in your head?’
                                                     But
O O O O that Shakespeherian Rag—
It’s so elegant
So intelligent
‘What shall I do now? What shall I do?’
I shall rush out as I am, and walk the street
‘With my hair down, so. What shall we do to-morrow?
‘What shall we ever do?’
                             The hot water at ten.
And if it rains, a closed car at four.
And we shall play a game of chess,
Pressing lidless eyes and waiting for a knock upon the door.

When Lil’s husband got demobbed, I said—
I didn’t mince my words, I said to her myself,
hurry up please its time
Now Albert’s coming back, make yourself a bit smart.
He’ll want to know what you done with that money he gave you
To get yourself some teeth. He did, I was there.
You have them all out, Lil, and get a nice set,
He said, I swear, I can’t bear to look at you.
And no more can’t I, I said, and think of poor Albert,
He’s been in the army four years, he wants a good time,
And if you don’t give it him, there’s others will, I said.
Oh is there, she said. Something o’ that, I said.
Then I’ll know who to thank, she said, and give me a straight look.
hurry up please its time
If you don’t like it you can get on with it, I said.
Others can pick and choose if you can’t.
But if Albert makes off, it won’t be for lack of telling.
You ought to be ashamed, I said, to look so antique.
(And her only thirty-one.)
I can’t help it, she said, pulling a long face,
It’s them pills I took, to bring it off, she said.
(She’s had five already, and nearly died of young George.)
The chemist said it would be alright, but I’ve never been the same.
You are a proper fool, I said.
Well, if Albert won’t leave you alone, there it is, I said,
What you get married for if you don’t want children?
hurry up please its time
Well, that Sunday Albert was home, they had a hot gammon,
And they asked me in to dinner, to get the beauty of it hot—
hurry up please its time
hurry up please its time
Goonight Bill. Goonight Lou. Goonight May. Goonight.
Ta ta. Goonight. Goonight.
Good night, ladies, good night, sweet ladies, good night, good night.

III. The Fire Sermon

The river’s tent is broken: the last fingers of leaf
Clutch and sink into the wet bank. The wind
Crosses the brown land, unheard. The nymphs are departed.
Sweet Thames, run softly, till I end my song.
The river bears no empty bottles, sandwich papers,
Silk handkerchiefs, cardboard boxes, cigarette ends
Or other testimony of summer nights. The nymphs are departed.
And their friends, the loitering heirs of city directors;
Departed, have left no addresses.
By the waters of Leman I sat down and wept . . .
Sweet Thames, run softly till I end my song,
Sweet Thames, run softly, for I speak not loud or long.
But at my back in a cold blast I hear
The rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear.

A rat crept softly through the vegetation
Dragging its slimy belly on the bank
While I was fishing in the dull canal
On a winter evening round behind the gashouse
Musing upon the king my brother’s wreck
And on the king my father’s death before him.
White bodies naked on the low damp ground
And bones cast in a little low dry garret,
Rattled by the rat’s foot only, year to year.
But at my back from time to time I hear
The sound of horns and motors, which shall bring
Sweeney to Mrs. Porter in the spring.
O the moon shone bright on Mrs. Porter
And on her daughter
They wash their feet in soda water
Et O ces voix d’enfants, chantant dans la coupole!

Twit twit twit
Jug jug jug jug jug jug
So rudely forc’d.
Tereu

Unreal City
Under the brown fog of a winter noon
Mr. Eugenides, the Smyrna merchant
Unshaven, with a pocket full of currants
C.i.f. London: documents at sight,
Asked me in demotic French
To luncheon at the Cannon Street Hotel
Followed by a weekend at the Metropole.

At the violet hour, when the eyes and back
Turn upward from the desk, when the human engine waits
Like a taxi throbbing waiting,
I Tiresias, though blind, throbbing between two lives,
Old man with wrinkled female *******, can see
At the violet hour, the evening hour that strives
Homeward, and brings the sailor home from sea,
The typist home at teatime, clears her breakfast, lights
Her stove, and lays out food in tins.
Out of the window perilously spread
Her drying combinations touched by the sun’s last rays,
On the divan are piled (at night her bed)
Stockings, slippers, camisoles, and stays.
I Tiresias, old man with wrinkled dugs
Perceived the scene, and foretold the rest—
I too awaited the expected guest.
He, the young man carbuncular, arrives,
A small house agent’s clerk, with one bold stare,
One of the low on whom assurance sits
As a silk hat on a Bradford millionaire.
The time is now propitious, as he guesses,
The meal is ended, she is bored and tired,
Endeavours to engage her in caresses
Which still are unreproved, if undesired.
Flushed and decided, he assaults at once;
Exploring hands encounter no defence;
His vanity requires no response,
And makes a welcome of indifference.
(And I Tiresias have foresuffered all
Enacted on this same divan or bed;
I who have sat by Thebes below the wall
And walked among the lowest of the dead.)
Bestows one final patronising kiss,
And gropes his way, finding the stairs unlit . . .

She turns and looks a moment in the glass,
Hardly aware of her departed lover;
Her brain allows one half-formed thought to pass:
‘Well now that’s done: and I’m glad it’s over.’
When lovely woman stoops to folly and
Paces about her room again, alone,
She smoothes her hair with automatic hand,
And puts a record on the gramophone.

‘This music crept by me upon the waters’
And along the Strand, up Queen Victoria Street.
O City city, I can sometimes hear
Beside a public bar in Lower Thames Street,
The pleasant whining of a mandoline
And a clatter and a chatter from within
Where fishmen lounge at noon: where the walls
Of Magnus Martyr hold
Inexplicable splendour of Ionian white and gold.

      The river sweats
      Oil and tar
      The barges drift
      With the turning tide
      Red sails
      Wide
      To leeward, swing on the heavy spar.
      The barges wash
      Drifting logs
      Down Greenwich reach
      Past the Isle of Dogs.
                  Weialala leia
                  Wallala leialala

      Elizabeth and Leicester
      Beating oars
      The stern was formed
      A gilded shell
      Red and gold
      The brisk swell
      Rippled both shores
      Southwest wind
      Carried down stream
      The peal of bells
      White towers
                  Weialala leia
                  Wallala leialala

‘Trams and dusty trees.
Highbury bore me. Richmond and Kew
Undid me. By Richmond I raised my knees
Supine on the floor of a narrow canoe.’
‘My feet are at Moorgate, and my heart
Under my feet. After the event
He wept. He promised ‘a new start’.
I made no comment. What should I resent?’
‘On Margate Sands.
I can connect
Nothing with nothing.
The broken fingernails of ***** hands.
My people humble people who expect
Nothing.’
              la la

To Carthage then I came

Burning burning burning burning
O Lord Thou pluckest me out
O Lord Thou pluckest

burning

IV. Death by Water

Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead,
Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea swell
And the profit and loss.
                                A current under sea
Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell
He passed the stages of his age and youth
Entering the whirlpool.
                               Gentile or Jew
O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.

V. What the Thunder Said

After the torchlight red on sweaty faces
After the frosty silence in the gardens
After the agony in stony places
The shouting and the crying
Prison and palace and reverberation
Of thunder of spring over distant mountains
He who was living is now dead
We who were living are now dying
With a little patience

Here is no water but only rock
Rock and no water and the sandy road
The road winding above among the mountains
Which are mountains of rock wi
unnamed Apr 2012
A Poem Composed Entirely of Verses, Phrases, and Select Words From T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land and The Hollow Men Disposed in a New Order for an English Literature Class Called English 206 at Lewis & Clark College in Portland, Oregon*


This is the Dead Land.
The Death By Water Land.  
The Hanged Man Land.

I had not thought death had undone so many.

In vials of ivory and colored glass,
Under the firelight,
Under the brush,
White bodies naked on the low damp ground.

Bones rattled by the rat's foot.

Rattle.
I hear the king my brother's wreck.
Rattle.
I hear my father's death.

April is the cruelest month.
April is breeding Lilacs out of the Dead Land.

You first gave me Hyacinths a year ago.
They called me The Hyacinth Girl.


A year ago, at the small house in the mountains,
I feel free.
I feel free when we are
Trembling
With tenderness;
Lips that together kiss.
Lips that together form prayers,
Form Life,
Form Earth.
Lips that kept us warm.
Lips, life, Earth, Prayers
Feeding life in the Dead Land,
Breeding Lilacs in the Dead Land.

They call me The Lilac Girl.

I think we are in Rats' Alley.
There I see one I know and him,
crying, picked his bones in whispers.
Crying in whispers unshaven he says,

Burning burning burning
O Lord pluckest me out
O Lord pluckest me out
Burning burning burning*

In demotic French,
Asked me to luncheon at the Cannon Street Hotel.
The Cannon Street Hotel is burning.
In demotic French,
Asked me,

You who were with me in the ships of Mylae!
That corpse you planted last year in your garden,
Has it begun to sprout? my nerves are bad tonight.
Stay with me. yes, bad. stay with me. what is that noise.
It's so elegant. so intelligent. mon semblable; my likeness!
Hypocrite! you!


He sat as though a heap of images broken in a flash of lightning
And crawled head downward down a blackened wall among the lowest of the dead to voices singing out of Empty cisterns,

Burning burning burning
O lord pluckest me out
Burning burning burning


Sweet Thames, I swear, I can't bear to look at you.

Sweet Thames, no more can I, I said,  no more can I bear to look at you and think of poor Albert.

You ought to be ashamed, Sweet Thames, I said, to look so antique.

I want to know what you have done with the memories he gave you,
The memories you took,
The sound of horns and motors,
The prolonged candle-flames,
The pattern on the coffered ceiling,
The small house in the mountains,
The lips that together kissed,
The life,
The Earth,
The Hycinths.

What have you done with my Hyacinths, Sweet Thames?

I still remember those pearls that were his eyes.

Albert, speak to me. Why do you never speak.
Speak.
What are you thinking of?
I think we are in rats' alley
Where the dead men lost their bones.
Where are your bones?
Do you see nothing?            
Do you remember nothing?
Are you alive, or not?
Alive, or not?
Alive,orNotAliveOrNotNotAliveNotAlive
Not alive.
You are nothing.
I am nothing.


I clutch and sink into the wet bank.

Death by Water.
The Dead Land.

Hyacinths in the Dead Land.
Lilacs in the Dead Land.

The Hyacinth girl in the Dead Land. Dead Hyacinths dead in the Dead Land.

The Lilac girl in the Dead Land. Dead Lilacs dead in the Dead Land.

Hurry up, please,
It's time. It's time.

Sweet Thames, run softly, till I end my song.
Sweet Thames, run softly, for I speak not loud or long.

You gave me hyacinths first a year ago.
They called me the hyacinth girl.
Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Yours arms full, and your hair wet,
I could not speak,
And my eyes failed,
I was neither living nor dead,
And I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

Goodnight, Thames.
Goodnight, Albert.
Goodnight, small house.
Goodnight, Hyacinths.
Goodnight, Lilacs.
Goodnight, April.
Goodnight, goodnight.
A W Bullen Dec 2016
A Husk of Thule brew..

A Fjord born tang of Fenrir cold
To yawn the must of comet tails
In rings, around the naked oak.

That broke the spineless whims
Of reed, that set the Heron folk to flight
From scrivened rims of frosted pools.

To run in footless constellations
About the broads of bitter miles
And, there to spill the coffered frays
of Autumn’s final standing.
Onoma Dec 2016
The coffered ceilings
of cathedrals hum...
their octagonal scenes
are dreams of extracted
nectar.
I'm reminded of a dead
bee I parted from a
flower...it was already
so much more the bee,
so much more the flower.
Its non-doership loved
to death its doing.
I'm different from the advertisements
I'm different from being able to check the diffident
I'm differently formed, coffered the affidavit
The defendant left me in a spell of the time that I had lost
Imbibing my guilt in the adequate alacrity, inevitable wasn't it
The loss of my sensible sagaciousness and I took it to curtsy for my childish grin
Smirks and lenience were standing upon at gaze, in the confused crowd
Only you, you were standing in the surface flowing with troughs of tridents of storms
Making choices beyond your gayness, and pristine condition was your choice of gentleness
noun: arrival
the action or process of arriving
a newly emerged development or product.
wordvango May 2016
true, goodbye is sad , then it depends
on what belief is behind it, and the history
the MoJo underneath,
the rightful truths or the dark lies
beneath the fairest exteriors

It comes either, from depths of forever,
goodbye does or the wells  of hell
or purgatory, hanging yourself forever'
by fixed nooses night fires and ******
desires, moments
that sweat from stinking odors
out of your ethos your ***
when you wake up

out of your ******* rants
the sandwich breath the coffered  
quench of thirst , whiskey rotted teeth
right inside daring to emerge
so easily a nut came and so
hard the *****
swallowing is
maia mischa Sep 2018
she’s wide awake, saturday morning
cold sheets and purple skies
unadorned wall and a coffered ceiling
four corners hiding in disguise
shadows through the jailed metal windows
curtains flowing with alibis
an empty chair, a messy table
a piece of paper full of lies
01/06/18
Bo Tansky Jul 2019
Now
Sugar and a little cream
Palliative potion of comfort
Elixir of coffered considerations.
Contemplated and envisaged
Morning brews,
Propositioning sunsoothes
Particles.
Helios sweeping mightlight across
The metallic movingmorn
Undulating nightlight.
Topaz infused
Daydreaming muse
Stirs the digested amnesic night  
Drinks to
  
Apollo offline
Drinks to
The empty holy grail of evening,
While Helios slept.
Hallucinating prophecies of fleeting images,
Succulent hopes of happinesses
Drunken inhaled trippy
Folktales
Of lore
And lay.
Oracled god of prophecy
God of healing
God of poetry
Healing lyrical music medicine
Hear my poemprayer
Hear my prayerpoem
Drink to
Elixir of life
Elixir of love lost.
Drink to
The elixir of a childless day.
BTW Apr 2023
Husband
23 April 2023

He walks in the room,  hello those there.
No disturbance,   relaxed happy mode.
Clean cut, nice suit,  cut  his hair.
Shoes polished,  pressed pants turning  old.

Offered a drink, was driving, soda please.
Music started  play, friends to dance.
Looked for  spouse to love and  tease.
Soon gave him that comfort glance.

Kids had grown, reputation sown.
Holidays soon to come, time to roam.
People wished them well, stay healthy, safe.
Clear he knew his place, showed in  his face.

End of night  near, time to leave.
Door opened, walked in  his neighbour.
Felt the ladies look, reach for  that  sleeve.
Somehow eyes always got their favor.

Was a man who carried a glow.
Considered by others icon of lust.
Conquests all  seemed to kow.
Made him  not one of us.

Husband wondered about his role.
Trying to keep wise and whole.
Another day wished  could seem,
Like that crazy time, last night’s dream.

Years ago had those offers.
Marriage kept him coffered.
Husband true as any known.
Always found love at home.
poetryaccident Nov 2019
Consider futures none entreat
while nature dies beneath our feet
a slow death that’s decades long
in a world that most belong

except the monsters who plan to die
before the forecasts are applied
to the world they deign to mind
as elders focus on dollar signs

holding money as the greater good
against the family’s heritage
the wasteland will be the birthright
bequeathed by death’s knowing smile

ask not for the bell now tolls
it’s for the young left behind
reaping dust from coffered lies
all that’s left is to surely die.

© 2019. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20191117.
The poem “Reaping Dust” is about the decisions being made now about climate change.
life's jump Dec 2023
life on the road has been necessary.
spent a couple years in Wisconsin.
and a full year in Vegas.
my lease was ready to renew.
of course, it was an astronomical
amount to stay, so I decided not to.
I was lost, conflicted, conflicted
by a great year of tournament poker
and a not so successful relationship.
I started looking into what next.
what would bring me happiness
fulfillment, a sense of living.
I thought I was being selfish by
removing me from everything that I am.
turns out,
it's been the most rewarding part.
for the first time, I'm diving inward
forgiveness, self reflection, worth,
some
interpretation of inference

i write to hold you in my words
i wish i had some to hold me too.

i think the morning is getting rough
another day
another day

and i believe in what i take
i miss wanting you to stay

or a thought i've missplaced  
in my contemplate


loss and loss after loss,
I decided to unplug from the universe,
from yesterday, from this "Facebook" me.
from the day to day of getting by
that seems to be changing way too fast
for me to compete.
from the thoughts that held me to the fire, chained to this "please forgive me"
mind set that locked me
in my crippling ways.
the friendships that I leaned in on
threw this vast entirety of pain.
healing had to begin.
they took turns with my possessions.
I placed them in safe places so that
I might collect them at a later time.
I asked my heart to stand by.
but, it doesn't really work that way.
this "all in" or "all out" moment
has to take place.
I got rid of everything.

In Twenty Eighteen
five years alone
in a stuido apartment,
a place I ended up after my life got rearranged.
trying to re-visit that part,
I really can't.
but i will say this.
It was the end fatally gripping
everything i was,
lost, gone, loneliness.
it was a slow death
a crock *** simmering my insides
while I was feeding it a teaspoon from
an IV drip that was full of
all the right ingredients.
the past, the pain, the what if's.
the endless nights with no sleep
the contorted days that left me vulnerable stewing, salty, insane.

the frayed ends of my existence
coming to collect me from my pen.
the amazing poetry that came from then
the harmony of my past relationship
grating on my emotions.
the missing good morning voice on the other end of my line, was the final break

volume level loud.
I escape in music
the trivia game I played
on my computer, was my "one life left"
I interact with real people
I get lost in the profile picture of a stranger
she made want to stay.
I affixed my mind to her face and prayed.
I imagine her fingers on my cheeks
to soothe my manic
this was instant love.
fantasies are tragic-

they have their way of ending
and when you're waiting for the bus
to hit the pharmacy to pick up some
"ten milligram friends",
the lines are agony.
the faces long, waiting to talk,
their despair and hopelessness
consumes you.

you buy a drink and while two
dissolve under your tongue
you take two more that will hit
for the ride home.
that warm familiar hug from a friend
for the bus ride home.
don't let me go,...just don't.

consumed
myself
to feel again
all i need
is all i am
kind to some
buckle brass
to leather strap, obsessed
past the present
future bend
future bend

rules tried but missed
what i want from me
must lift

grave my pens
turn to paper
turn to hymns  

i've been too much
count the places  
i am
i am


the bitter escape that stays present
rolls from the futon to your mouse
to a screen of endless opportunities
that play like a smoldering stage
set to inspire, soon expire.
as you passout with a lit cigarette
stuck between your burning finger
and your thumb.
you awake to recapture conversations
that took place in your stuper.
sent text, behind a blinking cursor.

I met this girl that made me wanna stay
she's the place I want to be.
I run to her, from me
and all my baggage follows.
it's a ******* mess,
but, my God, my God,
I'm going here, I'm here, I'm gone.

i'm standing asleep
in my clothes
under a sky with no
movement.

i'm at peace with
my gun holding one
bullet.

i must be at least
standing in front of a girl
i've always wanted

alone
cold
still haunted

i am the glass in a frame
in one forth window
cracked, pane taped to the lead
painted coffered bonnet

i am a fat plant growing
in soil potted
holes for water flowing
through it

i'm so afraid
that these days have caught up
with the ones i've wasted.
life,  
letting love collide
my heart,
your comet.


the losses continue and answers come
at the wrong time, I was holding on.
I used her like the light she didn't know
she was, so I couldn't tell her who I really was, and everyday that I held back,
the real me shows
what we did, what we had,
and how hard I tried, doesn't matter.
it was a disaster.
I didn't understand at the time
but my escape to her, saved my life.
That allows me this;
a time to reflect
to acknowledge my greatfullness
gratitude, my appreciation
this one and only me
was once again, mine.
I owe it all to her, i really do,
that her, with this unknowing fight
was about to save my life.
she had no idea- we were

Becoming Us

How small
this thought
i have.
at times,
coming back

that
of me, dreaming this.
we dare say
better times
exist.  
shining
too,
so
it reflects
your decisions.

we'll be
on our way,
beyond
great things,
being good enough
to be Our
kindness.

to us
we rose,
by earning trust,
enough to be alright
through tribulations.

that
as us,
free to love,
escaping
expectations.
without offerings
those lessons learned,
soon become our
guidance.


Today, I'm captive in a moment of clarity.
I'm at the beginning of the rest of my life.
Feeling this all incompssing consequence about to interact with my existence.
this healing journey that allows me
realization, in this moment alive.
there's a limited time
for goodbyes.

I love you more than I love you.
I owe you everthing, for saving
me.
I wish there was a shorter version
but I'm so fortunate
to still be here
to write.


call it fate-

For, Amy Haight

this is me here now, on the road in a van 15 months after Vegas. Years from Wisconsin. from a desert in Arizona
12/10/23
geomagnetic storms, solar and lunar eclipse, the full moon washing the desert...it changes you. I'm held Captive in a moment of clarity. im told maybe it's just Virgo in Mercury-

— The End —