"cardial" poems
“Don’t consider my words the sick
ecstasy of a sick mind, but you are
for me perfection!”
- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot
I remember
I can taste blood
on the roof of my mouth
I remember her face the first time
I asked her to coffee
when it rippled in a minor
hemorrhage of surprise
like the request was unexpected
but maybe
I hoped
hoped for
holding fiery cider in her hand
she was word and color transfused
when she spoke
she was celluloid and strawberry blond
and her smile looked like water
racing over rubies and the years
that I had waited
to meet someone like her
her hair was tied back
in a hurricane of dim gold
her voice spun out veins of thought
fluid and manic as magma
but brilliant like serrated ice
I remember
the cardial whiplash
when she said she would like to do this again
the sanguine dreams that came
after giddy toss and turning
turned to sleep
the saccharine thought
that I might be with her
suddenly washing away
leaving only the clean sting
from the bluelit photograph
of her having coffee somewhere else
my sheets grew thicker
as I stared
I did not blink
I just drank in cold acceptance
of the stranger staring back beside her
as the palpitating hope stopped
and the sunk aorta darkened
there were no feelings
save the ones that
I remember
I can still taste blood
on the roof of my mouth
Apr 6, 2019
Apr 6, 2019 at 10:22 PM UTC
I have a splinter in my heart
right in the middle point between the left atrium and the right ventricle.
A little husk of a beechtree seed
landed on the fragment of wood that now lives within me
and it cannot be removed or I will bleed all over and dry out.
It’s putting down roots on my cardial muscle tissue
one day it will break free, reaching for the stars.
Jul 24, 2016
Jul 24, 2016 at 7:29 AM UTC
I have to be more intentional with our interaction
On this road of life it's tough to hold on when the tires are wore I wish I was a man with unlimited traction.
You are my heart , my cardial-action
I have to me more aware of you
Be there for you
Although this life makes me feel grizzly
I vow to be a care bear for you
I apologize for my perverted view of intimacy
My mind is being rewired to what Christ intended it to be
How a husband is supposed to be wired to his wife
In all facets of marriage ministry
It's tough for me to interact
Without the thoughts of ***
Too often I let my flesh direct me
I have to focus on your beauty, not just your ****
If time permits will you let me
Show that I can be everything that God as called me to be
In life and towards you my wife
Nov 11, 2016
Nov 11, 2016 at 5:32 AM UTC