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Sal Gelles Dec 2012
i can't be racist
if i can't be free
i can't be vicious
if i just can't be
so i choose my sights
and i show my way
i'll take my flight
and hide away
from the darkness
that's calling me
it's dangerous
and it's me who sees
the detrimental life
that's dragging us along
without a price
on any other song
that i've written
and that i've sung
that i've been
and when i've begun
to let this all fall
to the floor at your feet
as you find the call
that's calling defeat
of the soul
of the mind
of the cool
waste of your time
so open your eyes
and see what i do
nothing left to disguise
but what thought you knew.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2017
rhetoric conjures up the most
ambivalent compound-nouns,
e.g.:
        cultural-relativism...
cultural? relavitism?
you can't do that?
**** yay!
    i'll butcher someone
on a monday,
and you end up calling
me a boy-scout on a friday...
**** yeah!
might as well have been
a piece of redied kosher meat,
no?
  rhetoric breeds
the most obnoxious sets of ideas,
fickle scheming
bunch of *******...
horn-beggars, squatting misers,
the lard fudge,
  the insolent brigadiers...
as i said:
a stick: has two ends!
you hit with one,
you get hit by the other!
test me, *******,
source yourself as media
lucky with your soros...
go on, i'm waiting to see your
paycheck...
           journalism, is fake
throughout, it doesn't mind
whether it's coorporate or
independent...
    it's all fake right now...
the only true
journalism is done by people
who recite their own
clamour of life's effort,
those who summon the
angelic-demons who state:
don't convene.
              man
was hardly a man when
he convened,
he simply turned into a monkey...
isolated?
well... sorta godly,
best replenished by isolated
examples of exceptional deviance.
thing is...
i can understand moral-relativism,
that abhorrent scale that the greeks
scorned...
  but cultural-relativism?
that's a rhetorical ****...
it's not even a question,
it's not even a term...
    i could fiddle with a pair of
******* and find more sense...
that means jack-**** to me!
         50ml of jack daniels
means more to me than
the term "cultural-relavitism"...
manhattan relative
to the amazon rainforest,
is that a relative worth pile
of comparison, or is
that, sarcasm?
   i'm too drunk to make a choice...
cultural relativism...
ha ha... ha ha!
         is that:
frankenstein = dracula?
               you know why i
understand moral relativism?
the concept of ambiguity:
the soldier vs. the murderer...
isn't that an ambiguity?
   that's moral relativism for you:
i can't tell the two apart...
the **** is "cultural relativism"?
some sort of bad joke?
a dog's **** worth of concern
for a missing bark?
****-head *******; die.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2016
Sarah Mclachlan - Plenty - the one time you told me
i was Eastern European, of long-forgotten Europe....
and you were Irish, then i knew.... time to breed
a knuckles's hello....  should i really mind reality?
you, godforsaken paddy skin-head?
throw a ******* paddy / potato
at me i'll get clued in at where
Chelsea gets tribalism of Hammer-smith...
oh lucky you, the Irish tentacle...
maybe the next Irish in me ought
ti dance the ******* leprechaun dance
for new years'... cos' that had to be minded
in newspapers...
                     i'll the be ****** of goth to mind
enter the dragon, starring the ill fated Brandon...
                   an you be the anonymous ****-wit
pardonable journalist with angst prescription
                      when mommy ****** the
milkman and daddy said: huh?
  or shave my head and become a fake neo-****...
                 or the atypical Irish-head...
       some said Celtic, but some said: Sale-tick-ticking-blah...
the meat-heads bashed their heads together...
                          wedlock northern:
every Mc-Noodle.
                      later read Mac.                                tosh
                                                       or Celtic
in the Glasgow curriculum, as said: Mac. arched Ranger...
    for the clover leaf brigadiers
                                               aye... spoon the
shovies! banknote worded:
                                                two pence a punch...
                some call it a London mo-cheese-sum
(mohican - heir to a higher phrasing: cannot but
will do) - and so the Australian banknote came
sooner than the migration points system:
as ever, plastic first, spooning baked beans
and later the "trouble": as Glasgow estate shimmered
the saying: concrete does two blues,
                          Hertfordshire horseradish:
alter. marketed green slime: or: guacamole...
   god, i wish i was soppy sometimes...
                             at times when it was least
explanatory to mention Vaughan Williams...
                  perfectly now...
        snotty curiosity ever went as far as
a hanky... or later read: a chappy chopping
wood with echo, blistered with
e-oh e-oh and the faked yawn, done, repeatedly,
  for purpose of a masquerade:
                 or Apache tribalism etiquette
saying: oh... h'allo'h h'allo'h h'allo'h;
pompous blues and said Peter to mind
                            while some geezer did the beat
          for the slang while regurgitating an attack
of the Zeppelins.
Aduain Nov 2018
Generals and Admirals,
making the decisions
On squaddies lives and welfare
Creating the divisions
These combat explanations
The dictionary assigns
The following descriptions
Only the words benign.

A fight between armed forces,
Or, Take action to reduce;
The need for family losses?
Or more souls abuse?
Down among the soldiers
Is there anything more obtuse?
Stood by an adolescent shoulder,
Death in hands to use.

Brigadiers and Field Marshalls creed,
Battles must be won!
With no time for a private’s need
Or their families at home.
One day, with waiting over
Lovers may return,
Some that is, the others
Died in Hades, so listen, learn!

They died, and in their passing
Our freedom they allowed
Take heed, do not stop asking
Be heard and scream out loud,
To those we must make listen
To historical loud spoor
where fields of blood still glisten,
Please! Let peace endure….
                                                                               Aduain
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2016
if you're asking me to be subhuman
give me a plot-line, i'd find one among the Zimbabweans
a minute later, but give me a plot-line,
i just want to know the hierarchy  from now on...
a Dutch spat in a Polish girl's face...
give me the ******* plot-line! or is this one of those moments
where you say: ja zapomnieć mówienia po polsku.
oh, you're one of those hybrids?!
should have told me sooner!
how's the Sunday roast treating you?
it's a bit dry, i admit, typical Pole-lack...
fights for independence from the Rus and the Prus
and then gets **** with the **** that pays him...
like some Chilean **** of a fake shaman,
or some Afro, gets ****** on all fours
for posterity being the reasonable standard...
has no pride, no ulterior motive, just sits there
expecting relief without working for it,
what a lucky bunch of beetroots, chequers in cheek,
rosy, the next flush of hope in casual conversation
estimating the standards of non-racial involvement
inside post-Saxony is Ulster -
they really want retards and are anti-bilingual,
the same plague that met the Normans, the Cnut
brigadiers, they want inbreeding, but as the ladies
say: better ****-pickup-grooming than a white
boy fanciful of romance... ain't that a pretty sight...
had to revolve upon the thick-skinned ones...
the ones who would't sue...
but with us Russia... ***** whipped by Jews and
cinnamon skinned ones are we? ***** - you said it,
i'm reaffirming;
you could have been colonial with them -
i won't let your colonial subjects turn colonial on me!
Tryst Sep 2014
This is the Field Marshall, tall and grand,
Who bellowed at Generals beneath his command,
Who shouted at Brigadiers in fine attire,
Who hollered at Colonels to make them jump higher,
Who screeched at the Majors and caused them to shake,
Who yelled at the Captains to keep them awake,
Who squawked at Lieutenants to keep them in line,
Who wailed at the Sergeants in double quick time,
Who shrieked at the Corporals and made them feel small,
Who screamed at the Privates worth nothing at all,
Who stood in the trenches and will never forget,
When they ran a man through with a fixed bayonet,
And held his hands tightly, as watching him die,
They whispered to no one, *"Oh why, but oh why?"
An idea based on "The House that Jack Built".

First published 19th Sept 2014, 14:25 AEST
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2021
ooh... those crazed up (a fata morgana of eye shadow) eyes of that sweet-***** Elaine Thompson-Herah... alias: Calypso... i was trying to figure out my kinks... mulatto girls... oriental girls... Turkic raven-haired shamans in the bedroom... i like the Olympics... all the body sizes... in their niches... the high-jumpers... the discus throwers... the swimmers... the sprinters... but also the table-tennis players... everyone is being represented... Shiva's girlfriends... if they cook up a curry... no, they won't... i'll be in the kitchen turning it into an organic chemistry chemistry...

critical race: kink...
  you'd think that some
things would remain
in the bedroom:
topsy-turvy world...

perhaps i'll dip a finger into
this fudge...
on seconds thoughts...
perhaps i won't...

"who"? Hugh's hue...
Hugh's hues...
for any native spreschen guise
i'd like to see
the encapsulated surd of double-v
"double-u"
and how the acronym satan:
Santa ** **'s...

each saint a satan...
critical race: kink...
i tried interracial ***...
i met my match with a bony assed
ivory "princess"...
a small tight ***
i knew because the front of
my pelvis...
the "garden of eden" of *****
grew a shade of plum
from the interaction...

i cannot: not... admire the white
teeth of black people...
i tend to forget about their skin....
if you were born into a
homogeneous racial "scrutiny"
of: origins...
i feel sick going back to the old capital:
once in Warsaw
i turn into a feral creature...
so many of "me"...
where are the blacks... the Indians...
all i'm getting is a whiff of
Mongolian...

mind you... at least on the outskirts
of London... how the county
of Essex is teased...
you'll hear the dogs barking
but then you'll hear...
whatever sound the foxes
make that can't be "magically"
turned into either onomatopoeia or
typo...

all of a sudden everyone is
feeling... un-com-fort-able...
copper-skin brush of joy...
little piglet moi gets a ******* suntan...
the skin doesn't resemble
a serpent's shedding its old
girth after having ingested
a giraffe...

a cheap £125's worth of a viking road
bicycle...
it was a waste of money to have invested
in a Trek Marlin 5 worth circa £500...
it really was...
i believe you only require
only about... 7 gears to fathom
heavy traffic...
even at night... pretending to be
a pedestrian... showing the three-finger:
read-in-between-the-lines
to some: oblivious ******
in a: you going to orientate yourself
on the road like a SMART car...
or are you still pretending to be
driving a... ******* TANK?

i've passed so many oblivious people
concerning traffic it's no wonder
i think of them at best as
sleepwalkers..

white girl academic critical
race: kink...
why would i require over or coming to
21 gears?
riding a road bike... sure...
a 26" inch wheels:
but they have a 23cm width...
so i can gazelle up any elevation...
what's with this basic *******...
clashing with church bells
and the uvula...

esp. not now: when a white girl *****
a black boy: Everclear will not make
a song about: "combating stereotypes"...
a white boy ***** a black girl
that doesn't require added inches
for their sofa of an ***...
how about i shove my elbow into that hole
for better measure?

that's why i like keeping cats...
grooming a female aroused me...
for three days solid i was cycling like mad
to and fro central London
looking for an alternative brothel...
i found the long lost abode...
one hour for £120 with a limp biscuit
of a little richard: ****...
shamed...
i returned... and found my pristine
"killer" of a ballerina...
in a span of 30 minutes...
if only i could invert the hour with the 30 minutes...
when my feline "princess"
agitates me with her **** stuck up
while she's about to be teased with
a knee when being groomed...

i'm not gagging for it...
i didn't experience it more than enough
to somehow want it more than
i can do with doing it myself:
well... if i were circumcised...
but since i haven't been circumcised...
****-off strict monotheistic crowd...
under the guise of monotheism:
and my circumcision...
sure... but then the women have to make
concessions...
i'm not getting a circumcision
if she's not going to don a niqab!

pije... pali... konia wali
(he) drinks... smokes... masturbates...
well... if i were given....
a frequented depth of thirst...
but since i haven't...
i can turn 30 minutes of the best ***
into... half a decade's worth of
abstaining from it...

i toy with my beard like it might
be a violin...
there's a hmm portent at some point...
but that's for the deaf...

over the weekend taking apart an old
b.b.q. meticulously...
however many screws have been unscrewed
in my head: whatever came about
from a "chemical imbalance":
notable mention: Robert Walser...
Fernando Pessoa...

well... if only the asylums were still
open...
if only the asylums were still be open...
i'd still be practising all my best
to enter the cages...
reinvent cubism by smearing
excrement in the corners of the room:
or something like that...
but... the "squares" found out us out...
the prisons are very much alive...
asylums?
well... "they" sent the madman into
society... no wonder...
whatever's still left of society
is... two-crutches strong...
struggling toward a myth of Bethlehem...

it's so exhausting...
no one sentenced to be encased in an iron
maiden would leave it with
a necklace of the torture instrument...
even if he said the least...

day one... let's call it a Saturday...
taking apart an old b.b.q....
without a hammer...
***** by *****...

day two... let's call it a Sunday...
putting a new b.b.q. together...
***** by *****...
Hephaestus... no wonder...
i have to thank him for momentary father
status: since my own father never believed
in my tech competence...
changing a bicycle tyre and inner tube...
someone was looking over my shoulder...

forethought: premonition?
i disintegrate into something resembling
a crossword clue by clue...
Prometheus was the TITAN
Hephaestus was the god of            fire...
that titans came before the gods...
it's not like Prometheus stole the fire
from Hephaestus...
but as the gods built their marble Olympus while
the humans were left cowering naked
in mud-huts...
a sacrifice...

                flimsy narrative...
besides... by the time someone decided to steal
the electric rod of Zeus...
an Edison... he was no closer to being
credited for it...
instead: making his living from having
created the archetype of movies...
ha... "making his living":
i'm so disinterested in money
that translates as...
keeping up a family... the "genes"...

    - each and every day i wake up
"thinking": before i get onto that bicycle:
there's no point eating up the itch...
why do i have to find meaning at the end
of the day: in writing...
rather than at the beginning with the sunrise:
some "vague" prompt...
to motivate me.... ?  ?
                                ?  ?

i probably know why... just today at the recycling
centre some... puppy... late middle aged
man in a Nissan Micra... or whatever...
i just shrugged my shoulders when
i was investigated with an accusation
of missing his front lights
while i was taking an old lamp out from
the boot... petty insect: bothersome little:
cre-ah-ture...
i shrugged my shoulders because:
no damage was done but he insisted on:

OH! WHAT IF?!
it broke me when he called me a silly ****...
pumped up chest...
i was going to say: how much do you weigh?
how many teeth that are not prosthetics do you
own?
i just shouted: ******* mate...
no damage was done yet he was
adoring his entire possessions in
a ******* ******...
that moment between shrugging my shoulders
and eyeing him up...
a momentary pause: i too feed off the petty heart....

i wish it was... the first time i discovered
tom petty & the heartbreakers...
i was with someone in the driving seat who
shouted: better buy a Bentley to
have those sort of concerns...
whatever happened to: innocent until
proven guilty... whatever happened to:
wait until the damage is done
before throwing a ******* poodle cartwheel
of a hissy-fit...
no damage... but being called a silly-****...

petty people bother me... more than mountains...
or the seas...
the heart turns into a placebo of:
what it must feel like jumping out
of an aeroplane armed with a parachute...
i wish i said: bark little doggy... bark...
next time you bark... i'll bite...
but i'm ******* slow... i'm always either
elsewhere: trapped in some variation
of dasein: some horizon of: there's... existence
elsewhere... always...
now mash this up with an elevation of
the cartesian res cogitans: i.e. buddha walking
as i like to call it: res vanus: the empty thing...

that moment of frozen mirrors when
i eyed up foul mouthed poodle...
sitting in his car... neither scratched nor
attended to...
he would do x, y, & z... i shrugged my shoulders:
did anything happen?
oh god... such motivation to find a chunk of
beef large enough to practice boxing on...

i'm thinking about Brazilian mulattos...
Jamaican Calypsos...
all the hoard of Asia brought to the altar
by the Mongolian horde...
and here i am...
abstinent... gladly...
please don't cage me... a moment more with
the Turkish raven haired shamans of
the bedroom...

- it's not even funny...
i'll spend near £500 on a Trek Marlin mountain-bike...
it's only 3 months+ old...
it started to cringe at me... squeak...
make odd-noises...
but that Viking road-bicycle: kol

anything... almost anything with a label:
MADE IN XINA... made by the number...
worth duck-squat...
i still own things manufactured in...
for ****'s sake: Sri Lankan rubber...
Pakistani / Bangladeshi linen...
almost always the better quality than
those fake Beijing silk woorms...

by why of bypassing editorial scrutiny...
aren't the public the better judge of...
what, exactly... is... being... printed?
not much... go go green!
so... me... waiting... one rejection letter
after another... not reaching the immediacy
of an audience... just so... i can establish
and authority of "publishing"?
the gate-keepers?
the... ahem... "selected tastes"?
i have a long attention span...
but i have a very short sense of humour...
for that matter... my father thinks it funny
pushing my span of keeping... my anger at bay...

i'll immediately post: and free! free whittle birdie!
what use do i have with orthodox publishing
credentials?!
when all, i, wanted... was to bypass
the orthodox publishing credentials...
**** the medals: it's all about taking part!
democracy or no democracy?!
should we ask Iraq... Libya... Afghanistan?!
itch... itch... i'm itching...
which implies: the itch existent and the process
of alleviating the itch: by scratching the itch:
i'm itching...

the sort of song you rarely hear on the radio:
black... wonderful life...
i'm too not skipping along to the rhyme
of flipping burgers... or burdens of the easily
available.... scooter frenzy of arrived
at New Delhi traffic:
seems i had to merely introspect
to find a snippet of the Giza pyramids...

- to hell with magic...
there's mythology, there's air all around us...
and like this one poet
mentioned ( )
water water everywhere...
but not a drop to drink...

the Pollacks: the Paul lean brigadiers have...
gladly left these isles...
forget these isles: fellow ethnic scrutiny...
let the English housewives make
better jokes when the ****** plumbers have
left and the tap is left running...
jazzy pop interludes with 1980s/ 1990s...
whatever you had in mind...
thank you... i'll leave it to the closure...
my fellow-countrymen have left...
to concentrate on their own "hood"...
your's? slightly undermined...
but blame me...

oh they're not interludes...
it's fine by anyone's standards if a white
girl welcomes her ******* baptism...
but a shy thought of a romance with Calypso...
or the hearth of Asia by a what-why-not-a-white-"bloke"....
******* clowns and jazz-hand clapping!

i once attempted a take on ENSO...
no chance... not now... not ever...
but the white girls pursue their...
****** liberation freedom:
look at me...
come in between... a decade's worth of
abstinence... halved...
then again encountered...
sell me all that's the Brazilian
of the mulatto bonanza...
i'll buy it...

30 minutes with a Turkish "killer": in her own
words... and i'm freed from
the extravagance of a responsibility...
to tow woman... and at least 2 children
in tow.... towing a woman
and at least two children...
no... thank... you... it's not enough
to merely breed for a product of 2 produce 1...
2 at least better produce 2...

i don't want to breed in this environment...
who would?!
idiot... saint... a *******
psalm singer... a reciter of the qu'ran?
it must still be a success story
among Muslims... to leech onto the
conquest ambitions fo the Turks
penetrating Europe:
although the Arabs probably think the Turks
as lesser "Muslims"...
but who is to forget the... bridegroom
of a reflex...
how the Christian Serbs....
how the Christian Serbs...
made the remains of the Ottoman Empire...
little or no nought of ash, skull...  bone...
we... "we"... Caucasus brigade...
sure... very Anglo-Saxon: WASP sensibly in Nyod: Ork...
just because the Jews can have their
Holocaust... doesn't mean that..
what's sleeping can't be suddenly woken...
n'est c'est pas?
it takes something trivial...

because the sacrificial body of lamb of Muslims
didn't take place... in "Europe"...
the Ottomans: whoever they were...
yes... they "were"... already happened...
it's such a tease... here's my slingshot
of history... the Bataclan theatre massacre...
sure... just give it enough time...
enough soy...
i'm clinging to the memory of Robespierre...
the guillotine too...
i'm gearing up...

who is? not me... some mythological collective: oui!
je! moi aussi!
nice living together: isn't it... esp. in
the clique of keeping up with
updates of Rotherham...
alias for... ha ha!
speaker's corner...
why are the Hing-Leash...
sowwy so so: sur-PRIOR-EASE!
***: onto the surf ye' go forth!

years later... whatever ****** revolution happened:
the girls entered a harem...
the boys were left talking solo
with "premonitions" of:
glad to be awake:
would be... abortions....
vamped up *** revolutionised:
for the women...
if the men were not subjected to world war I
trench warfare... they would
most certainly be crippled my
chemistry infused...
limp biscuit **** while the harem of all sorts...
she... pleads a pretty please back
to... who?
via beer it's he **** of gods...
via whiskey it's ms. amber...
same ****: different cover...

ghosts of the same poker fold... facing...
each other: worth of the same
evil: intent...

the liberated woman:
the liberated man...
seems i "forgot" to pass on the intrinsic
demands of the stereotypical man:
archetypical hunting... gathering...
sorry... you were saying, "saying" something...
no... must have missed me...
i probably "forgot"...

fair enough with the girl playing
her interracial anti-racism white anti-...
o.k.: whatever...
it's a proper antithesis surge of her
already met expectations when
i figure out a Calypso for my hard-on...

she's becoming boring...
truly: literally: *******... boring...
like her adventure was only surrounding
her juiced up opening of an oyster's worth
of ****!
*** is already boring:
i can have it on a relapse...
once every half a decade...
however much she tries to sell it...
the wind sells itself better...
silence also...
eh... she moans: she might moan:
the magpies cackle with
more authenticity...
the crows croak with more "girth"...

she can sort herself out...
after all...
she's the freely available...
variation of: what it might feel like...
living in Buenos Aires...
all the freedoms she requires...
i'll sooner come toward
a foetus within the confines
of a tornado: genesis a tadpole...
than i will ever make do with:

dough: dumb downer... make: do...
ugh! ugh! WOO-MAN! WOE-MAN...
whatever...
i don't mind the crisp: cut... dying out...
this cul de sac...
why would i?

i sort of... stop myself... forgetting myself...
whenever i cycle down oxford st.
and some Japanese gearing up:
****-pants flashes me for kicks...
you lost me at the brothel...
i lost myself at the brothel...
with the Turkish and Romanian girls...
sorry... what?

the night is always in its infancy
while the day: ages: oh most... terribly...
the day ages with responsibilities...
while the night runs: RAM-PANT...
such is the privy acquired by those awake
in the: NACHT...
everyone else is asleep...
by "tomorrow's": today's a quarter
to... 8... i'll be fresh as a daisy...

although the miracle of tourism
of sightseeing central London via cycling
will not be undertaken...
there will be as much of as little
as there is of this: to nibble on...
for anyone: eager...

a pursuit of the roundabout current...
yes yes... many thanks... ado...
no... thank you...
me chasing "shadow" while also gearing
up to the momentum leftovers
of either a bus or a truck...
how, did... so... many...
"cyclists"... get... towed... dragged...
under... these... trucks... busses...
oblivious traffic hierarchy status: "superiority"
complex?
minced meat... i like to think of those deaths
as... minced meat...
they had to be: St. Pancreas: minced: "dodgers"...

best dead... retardo: fernando: minced meat
"dodgers"...
oh guy's gotta looks ups!
(in that ****** aghast voice-over)
i get a hard-on every time
i entertain a roundabout
where i'm quicker off the mark
than some tirade of traffic...
always aiming for the momentum
associated with a truck
or a bus... or a south african scrum...

eh... little women: know very little.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
i don't write, i don't write rhyme, i am a lumberjack with words, and for those reasons: i have imbued some masculine dignity into the art form: i don't do well-wishes, hopes, utopian forms of the sudden burst of emotion; every time i'm trolled i turn into an orc, ravenous with an adrenaline thrill: and pristine english sarcasm comes to the fore: i first nibble on the genitals, the ego hardly mentioned, i mean, who does attack a person's taste in music with such adamant enforcement... but? what pissess me off the most? how puny the argument matter is: freedom of speech should, never, ever! bypass the rule of at least a few dialectical exchanges... blah blah all you want: but what's the point of a freedom, if there is no guiding "aesthetic" surrounding it? ******* caviar on toast, just as absurd as an avocado on toast: point for point: a load of *******.

it always makes sense to listen
       to some scandinavian
music, with interludes of rain,
in the night, after a few ***** sharpshooters -
peaches & cream moment...
can't argue with it -
esp. if it's *corvus corax's
song
                 a i mbealtaine, **** just sticks to
the wall, and in every appropriate way:
feels a tune of the heart -
i once had a dialectical mini with a biology
teacher of mine:
i said that lyrics mattered, and that you
needed to understand them -
she said: only the melody matters -
in cooking that's comparable to the presentation
versus the flavour -
     i'm sure she had the hots for me,
a few days passed, and she put on a hijab...
god, but raven dark folds of her pakistani hair
really could be compared to the thickness
of custard...
   shame she put on a hijab soon after -
i didn't even mind her post-acne peppered
face: i thought it gave her character -
and those **** chubby cheeks just fused
perfectly with the thickness of her hair...
hair... every woman's plot of jealousy begins
with another woman's hair...
     at least men are compensated with
a beard... me?
      ugh... too much: on my chest, on my stomach,
on my head: i have to wet it to keep it
from turning into a rampant amazon in
post-apocalyptic new york...
       and yes, i do like the ***** on my face -
i became bored with shaving,
            plus i look more monarchical -
regent - loser regent - nonetheless regent:
donning a beard is exhuming some minor
authority - long hair? you get two food-stamps
ye ******* 'ippy! say hello to the cockney
meister schtick: herr H.
  oh no, not ******, i'm bored of citing that:
if they only let him into the arts academy
and allowed him to paint his mediocre
paintings -
        he wouldn't be that much different
from picasso...
    sure **** he became an "artist" -
       only an "artist" could have conjured
auschwitz; gentlemen! applause for the vienna
school of art!
it was always about not writing cute,
not writing ******* overladen with rigid
technique, most terrible: avoid rhyme:
at all, and i mean all costs;
     leave that for the nursery brigadiers
of bombing blank pages with word bombs...
i can't stomach this notion of "cute" -
   this pedantic pseudo-haikus in women's
poetry: by comparison,
      sylvia plath produces a raw steak
tartar - you know, originating from the people
that made the steak from horse-meat,
and downed a litre of horse-blood,
once upon a time in the days of the golden horde;
sylvia just rhymes unintentionally -
   she tickles rhyme, but as soon as she
has a couplet, she hides it,
  this game of hide & seek &
                  seek rhyme & hide rhyme
,
is, in all honestly? genius!
     i find that sometimes just one couplet
work to perfection like glue...
tell you what - i'll let you in on a little secret,
you want to write poetry?
  start by watching australia's masterchef -
i know, weird - it dawned on me that it's worthwhile
watching cooking shows...
  given (a) you just entered a post-pavlov experiment,
and (b) they talk about food these days
are works of art...
         guess what, every time i watched
obelix eat his way through one of the herculean
tasks of asterix in the 12 (1976 a.d.)
   i always felt obliged to eat something...
if i were you, i'd start watching some cookery
shows: after all... the eyes eat prior to
the mouth... you'll find that much of writing is
culinary;
      the "placebo" pointers are already in place:
people have arrived at the multifacet meaning
of binging.
    
and yes, when i said that modern day talk,
even the puny internet "not-real-life"
   (funny how most of us shop and bank online,
not real what?) types of conversation -
really?
           beside the point -
   it's not rude to engage in dialectics
(as nietzsche infamously noted) -
            i don't understand staging two opposite
arguments and expect civility to ensue -
ars dialectica est quaestio ad infininitum,
   "post scriptum" ad nauseam
-
to simply have rigid, aphoristic opinions,
without having them question,
well... that's the downfall of appreciating
nietzsche by the modern crowd...
         what we're talking is "safe spaces" -
nietzsche, of all people: instigated this notion!
imagine the paradox;
dialectics instigate rude societies?
      no! dialectics instigate eternal societies!

i sometimes consider sudoku puzzles optical
illusions,
     there's sometimes absolutely no "logic"
involved - well, there is: a tree line a tongue
of a serpent, Y - oh you know -
that invisible γΥy in the sky...
   but once you start solving each puzzle
you realise: ****, there's a blindspot in these?!
and it always feels like there is,
given the matrix to the power of O (revolvi)

( s / se   | e |  | n | n / nw
  s / sw  |w | | s  | n / ne     )º
                  
a tongue that turns into an eclair.

conclusively?
oh, just something minor, a minor detail -
if you ever chance to step on the continent of europe,
do you know how much darwinism you'll hear?
NONE!
       europeans have become bored of this very
english genesis of affairs...
       yes, bored is the appropriate word -
it can be years on the continent where darwinism
is cited, or the fetish over david attenborough
exemplified...
          to most continental europeans the natural
world is nothing more than a blip -
ask the krupp von essen family: steel! steel! steel!
darwinism is only a respected choice
of argumentative positioning in the anglosphere,
outside of it? a tumbleweed;
and i'm of the continental inclination -
   i source my history not in a platonism -
which darwinism is: **** similis - as man be
clearly identifiable as an evolved ape -
i place my history in something much more
compatible within the framework of today -
monkeys used sticks & stones,
man? man uses letters & numbers...
      i see my place in history from a purely
etymological perspective -
  pre-etymology is just boring as it is,
i.e. how the romans plagiarised some of the greek
phonetic encoding -
    then again: it's a mystery how of all
ancient texts - the greeks invented the omicron...
oh, sorry, the wheel...
   sanskrit? any wheels there? arabic, any wheels
there? noope.
  so i wonder as i give my summa summarum...
oh yeah: roman is the masculine (w)
and greek is the feminine (ω) -

which would be easier to solve

(a) 0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0  0
      0  8  0  6  0  5  0  7  0
      9­  3  0  2  0  7  0  5  8
      0  5  9  0  0  0  6  3  0
      7 ­ 0  0  9  0  3  0  0  1
      0  0  8  0  0  0  5  0  0
      0  ­9  0  3  0  4  0  8  0
      8  1  0  0  0  0  0  9  4
      0  7­  5  0  0  0  3  6  0

or

(b) χ  χ  χ  χ  χ  χ  χ  χ  χ
      χ  θ  χ  ζ  χ  ε  χ  η  χ
      ι  γ  χ  β  χ  η  χ  ε­  θ
      χ  ε  ι  χ  χ  χ  ζ  γ  χ
      η  χ  χ  ι  χ  γ  χ  χ ­ α
      χ  χ  θ  χ  χ  χ  ε  χ  χ
      χ  ι  χ  γ  χ  δ  χ  θ  ­χ
      θ  α  χ  χ  χ  χ  χ  ι  δ
      χ  η  ε  χ  χ  χ  γ  ζ  χ­

                       ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?  ?

i suggest you try this, before learning oriental
languages -
it's all cross-eyed spaghetti monsters
from here on in.
Aditya Roy Sep 2017
Hey there
You there
Standing with the director
In his chair
Talking about the right actor
Slick back your blonde hair
While you’re mouthing to him

Talking about the movies
Sends you into a hitch
Time to talk about that *****
Who is up next
You know you’re not in the right situation
It’s time for the nation
Let’s go again
For the new generation

Looking at the congressmen
With badges pinned across their *******
And a politically-correct three-piece suit
With their largess
Drenched in sweat
Driving the rally into the unknown folly
To fear the unknown people of foreign cities

More than just a sign
It’s all in our precious time
The high-rollers
In their representative fashions
Taking over the world
And committing all the crimes
But that is just all they do
Let’s be moving on too

What about the generals, brigadiers and captains and colonels
With their epaulettes and patriotic decorations
Conspiring against the nation
Like chameleons
Thanks to their post
With ideas
Those are insidiously of corruption
As they stand host
To nations feasting on war
And diplomacy at the most

Political amusement isn’t it
The dichotomy of having aliens
Deported
And these braver politicos star in their expensive overcoats
See themselves getting promoted

It’s rather fun
When the bourgeoisie
With their Large brim hats
To protect them from the sun
Cash in
More money and hate
More than religious faith
Innocents supposedly drowned in sin
Don’t know when good will begin

With the Catholic Church
Being a prison of beliefs
Since the inception of time
Changing political opinion as we speak
Which brought forth with it unnatural urge
Hilarious isn’t it when politics starts to stink
When the crowds go berserk as they scream
For more religious retaliation and a lost dream

Fun isn’t it
For the vengeance seeking righteous prisons
Who wish their prisoners burn in the crimes
That they spin
Before they can live out of those times
And their whims

But who is to blame
The heart isn’t tame
Is it God
Who has made it rough
For the virtuous inferno of actions
That has been extinguished by the holy water of circumstance and disdain

Isn’t it easy to blame our surroundings
Rather than our actions and our fate
Subterranean Homesick Blues told us the people to stay away from and habits to stay from. This poem tells us the favorite people of the nation; directors, politicians, army generals etc. And tells us how they get corrupted and it involves satirical subversion.
Megan Sherman Aug 2017
Status - wealth - symbolism
These - tokens make or break
Elect a soul to different shelves
On path of society's mistake -

As in chess - King dominates
Tenements - for pawn
Barracks - for the brigadiers
From whence the battle born

Of royalty - the stripe beget
To any aspiring regent -
They come even in Labour sometimes -
Suzerains of Parliament -

But a rose is anybody whose heart harbours -
A love of life and all it's creatures -
Considering the bards to be teachers -
Corbyn most exquisite of preachers -
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
you know, two doors down,
a bunch of youthful sikhs are having
a weener get together party,
sounds like friday at the mosque:
no women allowed;
and they're standing there in
the garden, smoking joints,
laughing & trivialising,
**** on the read: i call them.

and there's me, little ol' me,
solving a sudoku puzzle and drinking
some *** on the side, while listening
to the ultimate template for "m.g.t.o.w.",
and thinking, am i part of this movement,
to be the reversal cartesian dynamic
that hasn't kicked in?

vocals on gorgorath,
and the story behind it...
i see hell as silence,
mainly? no throne of god,
nor hallelujah angels...
i have to make this pig latin...

ego videre infernum qua silentium

  and i do... see hell as silence:

   videre infernum qua silentium...

heaven?

      rephrasing: audio... for pedantic
***** involved.

so i have thus: sikh party two doors
down,
i don't mind them...
    i'm sure as ****, the fan gets involved,
i start to gurgle the brew,
i tilt my head back, with a neck still
intact..
  and gurgle the brew...
        mind you, these neighbours killed
my cat...
               i'm not begging, i'm not asking
for a response, i'm just saying...
  what happened, happened,
    i have the north winds to attest to...
no sikh is going into my house
and say: make us a kuppah...
no, *******, turn your turban cloth into
a napkin, and have
your jimmy-jimmy daal....
you ******* idiot... oh? it didn't translate?
how about i voodoo my cat's remains
in a woogie-boogie promise
of: the haunted house?

     i **** as hell digged up a grave,
you "think" i'm about to joke?
let me fiddle with my nose for a bit...
you know how disrespect for humans
is born? when the "idiot" disrespects
the non-edible, petted forms of animal...

you make grievances with
non-edible pieces of meat
that men are associated with...
you're asking for the name of the seasons,
plus a choir of angels to untie you;
boo-shakalak-kee-sha!
  what did i find?
these turban brigadiers, these
blue indian, these pakis...
they have only one motto:
strength in numbers...
    but when they hear a white boy,
gurgling alcohol out of the window,
as if imitating drowning,
tilting his head back giving the perfect:
macaw signing in the sea...
these olive skinned virgins either play
*****, or call for backup "plans"...

*** yer plantain, but not yer bananas:
sure short, a ******* wake
across the whole of the caribbean...
called the havana autumn:
lost leaves, dry dung,
    monkey 'ave a throw's worth
of a bullet 'andy.

what? you gunn'ah **** on the pineapples
any'who? ******* will,
i'll be right there,
shitstorming your *** whether
there's an irma or her **** jose -
***** i'll witch-broom your ***
right off with a woop, telling my
neighbours: i've done so;

and yes, the internet is not a cul de sac,
you don't get to play
radio 4's the archers here...
sorry, i was wishful thinking for a sitcom
too... turns out...
    the phonebook is exponential in size,
but also too erratic in terms of
fluidity / fluctuation of capitalised on
use.
Megan Sherman Apr 2017
O Daisy, happy with life,
Who scatter the grasses like stars,
Doing sacred work of the Earth,
In which knowledge of purpose appears.

From whence the hippies steal away with desire,
And babes and brigadiers lie still for eternity,
Wherein the fine beauty of creation conspire,
There my daisy dream and grow!
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2020
the world comes knocking at my door,
i mournfully turn it away,
i have no "concern" for it...
although: i'm content that some
proud noses can be eased into
sandpaper -

the world comes knocking at my door:
any other year, month or day
i'd gladly welcome it with my usual
reservation and distance...
big fat world:
with its interludes in geocentric mantras
and events:

how certain i am: death like a gravity...
the only authentic democracy
of this forever inexhausted necropolis...

the world comes knowing at my door,
i pretend a courtesy,
i put on a mask i even gnash my teeth,
i rattle my skull with a knock-knock
hoping someone isn't "there"...

how different it might have been,
to be so adamantly involved in all the details
shown:
i would like to return to
the scrutiny of details: incremental
details of bothersome - aligning -
now i'll hear the other side
jump through rings of fire...

             the world and me and some variation
of: "i was there"...
so much for coordinating myself
to attire a tailored respectability...
"lucky" for me that i'm still mourning...
the world can heave
a purpose for upping its medicated
sustenance: or a variation of what these words
have already ushered in...

the frenzy of vulture feasting...
           the mosh-pit wriggly teases of:
no... these aren't maggots...
these are sewer folk...
                which is not to demean
the purpose of the i.q. of rats...
           oh how confusing it all must seem...
so much for taking sides...
one side most pronounced:
the all-invigorating spice of random,
chance,   hell... betting through and through...

my last chance at rhetoric:
214 + 20 + 15 + 16 = 265...
                   magic nevada:
how one hopes to live in mongolia...
or moldova... from time to time...
because living in this... focus point
of nations could most certainly become
so demeaning having to stress one's
over-inflated status as citizen X...

just saying... november in Estonia...
somewhere so pigeon-fiucked silly
with a "despotism" of absence...
            vacancy... to hell with the classical
model of heidegger's dasein, i.e. "concern"...
one might take a taoist approach:
best the world forget me
and i forget the world:
who's to make light of voice:
the psychopaths, the homosexuals,
apparently too the hughey lows of Jar
of televised aviation... vivi section:
and the new brigadiers of qwing ******:
not... vested in interests
of the economy surround stilettos...

my voice to the shadows!
my arm forged a better agility to begin with:
i was never adamant on rhetoric per se...

so a few words in the auld zunge:
noli ex me quaerrere - do not ask me...

probably my favorite:
quales sint, varium est,
        esse nemo negat...
  the nature of the gods is disputed,
but no one denies their existence...

i.e. to speak "ill" of the hebrews while
keeping sacred their own
"censorship" of ha-shem: the name...
the name with a second name:
the tetragrammaton...
fuckety **** **** parrot clue...
i'll ****** my tongue
with profanities but i will not
utter THE NAME...
hell... i'll go as far as apprreciate
the plural variation: elohim...

should it be of concern...
how Balaam would cut enough
skull and scalp:
and make a bowl from a kippah /
a tonsure...

Quintus Ennius... come to think of it:
we don't exactly speak prose...
do we? since we don't speak prose
we most certainly don't speak poetry:
we at best (probably) stage it...
come to think of it:
rhetoric is ugly when, otherwise,
prose could be staged...
but we stage poetry,
we stage persuasion...
prose is hardly kept...
in conversation...
the odd flashes of its existence...

elbow through a line of waiting rabbis:
to reach the ear of the deity...
because what is the arithmetic of names
concerning monotheism:
99 - 72 = 27:
chiral leftovers...
how i will glorify thee hebrew deity
because: it's so perfectly worded:
phonetic... memetic... however you'd
like to: how the greek delta implodes
and... turns a clockwise glee:
upright Y... and how that's a tongue
of a serpent...

i can bypass the hebrews and claim:
deity... little ol' me in
a zephyr of the muzzies...
being told: no arabic! no go!
i don't need to celebrate the hebrews:
but their deity i can without
question...

i never indulge in rhyme: unless i'm
polishing silverware or
sharpening my memory...
which is rarely seen:
since my memory is stiff with images
and hollowing of elephant tusks...
i wished that i would be able
to write with an ink
that was made from bone marrow...

the lesser sire came,
the lesser sire went...
the gods congregated around this
monstrosity of man:
this omni-litany of
infinite noun ascriptive purpose
of an imbecile god:
brain riddle follow through with
nothing but fudge or custard...
here, my credo:
i believe in the sadism of
a demiurge...
but i also believe in a justly surviving
purpose of a deity as tier above
the concentrated purpose
of man being left absentent...

             the purpose of man and his laws...
to thieve to ******:
under the eternal spectacle of
gravity without fail...
            man ordained a limitless purpose
for his laws:
to coincide with his ****** desires:
after all... we're not walking abortions!
we're not! china manages to allocate
purpose for over a billion people...
poor whittle Estonia allocates purpose
for a droplet of the same staged
volume of count...

       i'm cutting down on my ferocity of
desire for the simple reason that
some other new york middle-class pedestrians
need their complicated
over-psychologised lives to come to fruition...
i care about darwin as much
as darwin would ever care for
the topic of orthography...
or diacritical marker exfoliating within
the confines of english: which will never
actually happen...

prospect of teasing...
  
- and one of the first frost-biting nights...
how it settles upon my roof...
below to see...
the stars could be... disgraced...
frost and all this cold and this captured light...
like me extending into a mile of
red carpet and paparazzi snapping: shots
of either epilepsy or lightning...
spasmodic details aplenty...

borrowed from a time of gonzo journalism:
when hunter thompson was
riveting over the topic of herr reagan...
the people of Kamchatka...
were long ago asleep and
oblivious to the demands
of the affairs the cosmopolitan smurfs...

what if... marx and engels wrote
their little red book...
prior to the french revolution?
how... no matter...

the world keeps on knocking: it wants
all my already wasted attention span...
i own a door?
i don't, i hardly think, that i have ever
done so...
perhaps...

                        this tongue this hardly
essentially france, spain,
italy or the grief of... patent...
a germany... all that is necessarily: west...
come the concern:
is it an argument for pumpernickles
or for windmills!
is don quixote invoked?!
there is no need
for flipping a coin!

how atheists became
these tired old prunes:
momentarily detailed as influential
circa the years of the:
supposedly most progressive:
opening of a century:
because... as you know...
it's the 21st and some ancient rituals
of man would forever become
shaken, shattered...
                  unfathomably "loitering"....

mein teil:
                       as far east as is the promised land
of austria...
******* to the whole of greece
and the birth of the idea: hang your pendulum
elsewhere with your sword of Damocles...
lest we become this tragico-comic
slaves of anecdotes of a people best
expired when sentenced to ottoman rule:
because we can thank
the Venetians for that... no?
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2023
hmm... what's "mote" up to, i wonder?
her usual bathtub god analogies
like... **** me... Edith... no Sylvia Plath
put her apple pie into the oven
instead of: reminiscence of guillotine
imitation: into the ******* oven?
how's "mote"?

what a weird /ˌmeɪnɑːʒ ɑː ˈtrwɑː,

   esp with the flirting on the train...
menopause of 50 year old women
and the ferocity of *** in males
still proposing aged 37...

ugly mothers, soul searching...
i did my psychedelic limbo of lobotomy
when diagnosed as psychotic
yet still freely available to freelance
the ancients' practices of surrogacy
because i liked Reyla
and her version of hide and seek
with three stones thrown into a pull
dive & seek... dive & seek...
horcruxes or... that other parallel...
of giving up your love to people
without killing them...

yummy... ******* yummy...
this is me watching the miracle of
India hosting the world cup of cricket
playing so well while
Diesel Australia played so **** but had
coffee or amphetamines at the final
and won...
just like i supported the Springboks on
Kauai'i... not in Kauai'i...
doof-oos... it's ON rather than IN...
island fuckery...

ah... i'm an artist at hand so i'm all:
tender-*******-sensitive with an aversion
to journalism (critique)
and the whole SHABANG on Pulitzer prize
give-aways...

i'll be drunk by 5pm and asleep by 6pm...

no! India shouldn't habe... HA B'EH won...
don't know... ask Loki or chance or fate or
who-the-*******-else-cares
to treat reality with sugar, salt or spice...
it doesn't matter...
there's reason in unreasoning "things"...
less so with the concern for names:
associative faces... oh... i recognise X...
algebra of familiarity...

like explaining to some Fawad Ahmed douch
about the difference between
the Ukraine Russia conflict and
the Israeli Palestinian conflict...
watch my elbow... it's about to do
a nervous ****... oi oi oink... pretty ink white as
the new pink... oi!

but we can be neutral with the Israeli
brigadiers... of bomb bomb hospitals...
decapitating unborn foetus?!
why is the war in Ukraine unlike
the rekindling of the war in the middle of **** know's
where?
you can't be pro-Russia...
but you can be pro-Israel...
maybe the ****** in me and the...

hardly a question of i.q.
intelligence quotient can be replaced
with: a question of intelligence... a per se Rubik
cube dynamic, per se...
you ******* stupid enough...
"******"-myopic ******* to ask
a question, the question: oculus per oculus,
an eye for an eye definition of...
******* fair bureaucratic alliance to
the thrill of Heraclitus' river?

oh wow... a glimmer of soul...
a cactus warming juice just so squeezed...
a window of azure in the sky... soul...
with the murk of overcast skies that's
the signature symptom of England...
i should have never left these isles
for happy sloppy Elvis was puffy
matras of Hawaii...
i shouldn't have played the stepdad
because it's bringing me: the **** down...

my intelligence has become a burden...
i can spent this day without eating...
i'll drink and go to sleep...
my empathy is a crutch...
my mother tells me i have a good heart:
well... the only heart i know and own...
owning is knowing...

i'm just tired, as a northern European,
of hearing the dicta of miraculous wisdom
of a desert people who can't tell
the ******* difference between
the noun hoof and the verb meow...
just so, at a supermarket...
maybe read "too late"...

  i like rugby... so i wear a south african rugby
jersey...
two black girls at the trolleys...
walk past, kiss of the teeth...
the ****?
oh right... impossible bypass...
what now? now i have to reply with:
by picking my nose you shouldn't
be here, because south africans shouldn't
be in south africa?
picking ******* cotton is not coal mining...

although, rest assured... no chocolate allure
in pigmenting coal... ***** plump ***:
oh oh i get it... "black" women angry...
so is the wind...
now i too want to drink myself into
a savvy slurp of the right kind of optics,
political, sign-language stereotyping...
BLAH BLEE        BUSY-BEE...
******'s with Raj style: oh but we lost the world
cup in cricket: compensate compensate
because Pakistan is not privy
to what Bangladesh is honing in on(!)

oh... i wasn't accused of being a pedohpile...
it was just... ever, so, not so subtly... insinuated...
well **** me: JESUS LOVES IS SUPPOSED
TO LOVE EVERYONE AND EVERYONE
NEEDS THIS SORT OF LOVE OF SADOMASOCHISM!

**** this camel jockey ethic sharing
dynamo of the desert people...
like the Holocaust didn't teach them anything...
Megan Sherman Jun 2018
Gold knowledge shames illusion where it preys
Dead counterfeit perspectives on the truth
Cast gray against truth’s beauty rare forsooth
Shadows of night to the lush of day
The sages in their sweet, sanguine pursuit
The scholars yearning for the quench of sun
The gurus in whom cosmic fires run
All in their quest the truth salute
Truth’s dawn refracts the visions hidden by
The barricades, bastilles and brigadiers
Who stealthy, quick encroach upon the sky
Hath visage of a god eclipse sun for years
Yet nature’s crown cast at long last her ray
Which inspire worship of the day
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2023
i haven't "weaponised" my drinking to turn it
into writing, proper, for some time,

there's this riddle in Latin,
because i won't be looking for the words
in Hebrew, so i'll unravel
the saying in Latin,

working from ehyeh asher ehyeh,
i am that i am: toward...
i am who is...

        but god is the Holocaust
is... ego sum quod (that) /
         ut (as) - ego sum

  not who he is...
   transgender bereavement...
   since trans-racialist affairs happened prior,
Cat Stevens had a Greek Cyprus father
and a Swedish mother...

Napoleon Napoleon: best new soundtrack
for a movie...

****... i'll really need a classical
education... ego sum qui es...
i've been sleeping
i can't weaponise alcohol like i used to
to write...

maybe i've also lived a little and can't catch
the surf of loner writer bollocking,
i have all the house to myself but
it's like: i don't want to push the nuke button,
the red red red red...

there's a dancing fly on my table in
a timid stake of the last remaining light,
i almost think that i've given half of myself
up... better evening than for most
spent in Plato's cave without Homer's
spine...

since Homer's courage for adventure is
almost as crippling to inherit as
Moses' Genesis... crippling for the modern man,
modern, current man, seemingly claustrophobic,
who knows, maybe i'll unwind
and use this amber droplets to unwind,

i'll cite some common reference point,
by now i know there is no "collateral"....
i can drink and smoke some marijuana
and have 20 walls with roof included
to bounce my ego about like it's a match of
squash... i'm used to the darkness - des rocs...

i haven't missed the beauty spots...
today i failed at living a day...
i waited for cat food delivery...
i waited for a plumber...
but i was armed for cycling in the night...
as sun disappears come these days
gone come 4pm...
   i cycled like a serpent constipated by
puff and wind and wizards of feathers
to the proximity of Canary Wharf...
via the bus route 5 towards Canning Town
then back through the muck
towards Barking: demographic check...
stinks of India around here...
but at least it doesn't smell of pickled cabbage
best associated with Germans and Polacks...

mitigating 0-return flow of information...
i can't weaponise words with alcohol,
i thought i could... reading a snippet of:
I, Maximus, of Gloucester, Olson,
my new favourite poet...
but the world is shook-up Stevens and
no... clearly, i don't won't to find myself
happy, somewhat interested in how:

the world with it's buckle i will remain
with my scythe... for the burdens of
harvest are still to yield...

i knew my "unprofessional" scribbles would
suffer should i meet a ms mrs "right"...
and now Hawaii is like a Treasure Island
Black Dot Pirate tattoo, forewarning...

it's still funny to me...
the Hebrews do this magic trick of not speaking
the name of their deity...
while the Muslims hail it appropriate
within the confines of: from what i heard, last?
decapitating the heads of unborn foetuses...
propaganda or... am i going to be the last
surviving horror movie fanatic
fantasist that: membrane of: surely until it
reaches me... but until then:
nothing has happened!              bogus...

kick and scream into the brilliance of the light
of ignorance... as long as someone knows...
as long as someone has experienced
the dark bulging interior of shaking-up
human relations...

call it a grandson of pickles...
Reyla loves pickles...
it bothers me it doesn't bother me...
it bothers the supposed bothered me...
like i might be a pastor's son
with juicy snippets of bad ***...
i started my idea come 9pm... it's almost 10pm...
and i'm almost finished my escapade...
so are the cats...
no angry ***** dishes to boot...

i was born to scale the heights of
salvaging hours of upkeep as a bus driver...
that's all i ever wanted to be...
but it's hard... to do the whole...
Leibniz-librarian anti-Newton push of genius
dynamic... but i like this war...
Newton and the push of intellect-spectacular
into the public domain... contrastic
the reclusive Leibniz...

last time i heard about the current
Nobel prize winner... she was writing something
of what Knausgaard's ambitions would
never achieve...
like prize Homer or the Quran or the Bible
now... in the climate of selling to
the literate-doubly-illiterate...
leprechauns and goats...
      similis of the chin and stroking the beard
for good luck...

       luck           vs.           fate.....

by definition luck is choice...
and fate is will...

i wouldn't say, ignore the world, def(l)ect it,
there's no Cicero in me and any mind
worth of rhetoric...

if we had free will... we wouldn't be calling
out circumstances of hierarchies in
the mind of the mad animal that's man
and not the cat....
we're not free without the cages
we found ourselves, to be trapped in...

i was rereading Nietzsche today at 9am
today...
aphorisms are sometimes better than poems...
now i'll get blind drunk and dunk a blind
pit stop to strap smoking a doodie
to help me count sleep: shleep...

it still bothers me...
why did he say: i am that i am...
instead of saying: i am who is                   (?)
i'm tired of Scandinavian influences of literature...
and i'm tired of translatable new-Englishnessness
of this Molotov-multicultural
load, of, *******, *******!

come 11pm i'll be jacked up ready for sleep
come me, rewatching season 1 of BILLIONS...
only because a poet scrutinises an actor
and an actor is not: a poet, a *******,
a priest, a politician... yet still...
between serious dictatorial weight-gain lifters
of the Chinese and Russian civilization-state
authority and western:

oops-e oops-ah... ******* about?
     under the dictation of a veil
of thespian-journalism?! you, *******... kidding me?

PROFANITY AS THE JUNCTION
OF ALL TRUTHS...
to strut with words as oaths
O **** me... i have the entire house to myself,
Edie, there's no mother no daughter
and there's... sand, time, to begrudge you...
you above a tilting hind, broken leg...

the tired ******* are asking: for this matter
to be either stalled or, resolved...
because the Apocalypse is being stalled...
and by double the definition,
smoked, halted...

           but there's this irrational very rational
love of, love of everything that comes
matching up purple with pink...

     who the **** speaks of the Chinese these days?
the ******* Taiwanese?
the Hong Kongish shrapnel brigadiers?!

news news... north east west south...
oh, i heard it's new hot **** getting streamed....
i'll make sure this writing evaporates when
i smoke a soak of a doodie
when i do...

no Olson-Project in Ezra Pound's sight...
i'm in love, i think i'm in love...
who needs to be,
i love regardless, that i'm stupid...

i love cycling at night...
i have a small ****... but big hands...
i have a small ****... but big hands...
    she swallows...
      a litany, some are words best
constricted to be contained to sentences...

i'll smoke one and entertain
kaleidoscopes...
green and with a frenzy of luminescent
purple teasing blue...
so many serious people:

adjectives of burning surprises
key, word, BOMB BOMB BOMB...
life almost perfect, sober,
on Kauai... so remotely... "it".
unknown to me, only prior to turning on classic.fm on the radio come the 6pm news bulletin at the start of my night shift... that demonic red glare in the sky... remnants of the northern lights descending as far south as London... no wonder my head, even a day later... reels with magnetic dissonance I can't exactly justify with any sensible rationale... like a moon madness and the fullness of it and werewolves... is there anything in our bodies that might allow us be inclined to feel magnetism: in the same vein as when old people talk about atmospheric pressure and how that dampens their mood and instigates a lethargy that's also an excusable bout of welcome melancholy: welcome in the sense of (it) being unavoidable?

i was, expecting to sleep until about now: circa 2pm...
that shift didn't help me much:
demoted for a reason: that i hushes in silenced
an ego-whisper: don't get so ****-hurt about it:
there's surely a reason...
upon returning home: a crimson cloud
in the dark sky... pumpkin spiced latte with the
ginger, Joan... Joe... ginger is a ginger is
a ****** is a ginger...
i really don't understand or want to:
these flirtations of trying to match me up
to a tailor for a Mr Bonzo... Baker St. is my favorite
underground station... so she puts her hand
between mine while mine is in my pocket...
and i guess that's how unavailable women
pet men to submit to some wishy-washy variation
of what could be a wholesome adventure in
Islam...
            but never mind... oh but i do mind...
it's like a cross between Garry Glitter's rock & roll
and Talking Heads' ****** killer...
but that sputnik of a crimson hue so huge although
it wasn't a cloud: gave me bad nightmares
the kind where you don't dream anything
but instead succumb to that summary of waking
up early in order to listen to some wham!
jeez...
last night i disclosed i was Millwall fan...
the supposed epicentre of trouble at cordon 3: DC...
where all the ******* were supposed to reign
grumpty humpty dumpty:
turns out all the children congregated and was
asked: what team do you support:
i bet it's West Ham i bet it's Tottenham...
gorgeous George the homeless was there...
and then i mimed Mill         Wall...
the kid heard me: but i had to make it painfully
obvious with the sound matched to the movement
of my lips... Mill... Wall...
a bit... in spite of my father who was... is...
a forver an ardent hammers fans...
i think it's the Scottish Connection...
Millwall is associated: by colours of their jerseys:
St. Andrews' piquat: navy: somewhat teasing
at Florentina's purple... but nonetheless
Scotch navy: which is teasing purple...
plum... plump blue...
well if Prince William can support Aston Villa
and from what i heard:
the reason West Ham have their claret and blue
is because it's a plagiarism of the Aston Villa kit...
can't have plagiarism in my vein...
so... well can't really support Arsenal or Tottenham
although: that cockerel is mighty teasing
but i'm not ***...
so the Scottish Connection: the team associated
with the dockers on the southbank...
i'm finding the London on the south of the Thames
a riddle... a welcome riddle...
surrounding the area around Elephant & Castle
a mighty affair of architecture that's most appealing
come 6am... and 7pm...
i love that part of London:
that open air asylum vibe...
i'm the most insane sane person around those parts
when my night shifts start... and finish:
but they never finish...
to support a football team simply because of
the locality... i think that's 1960s worth of
****** liberation atop the singling out word of:
groovy...    yeah baby... yeah...
watching footage from 1960s swinging London
is a bit surreal like watching
videos of the liberation of the concentration
camps of central and eastern Europe...
watching these hispters of London and then watching
the Auschwitz walking skeleton chimes...
strangely... in synch...
              because we don't have a cataclasm to
pacify ourselves with a panacea...
             the butterfly and tornado narrative...
clearly our insomnia fried brains are not even equipped
to clarify a tragedy with the antithesis of
Egyptian prowess hedonism...
maybe that's the parody of the 20th century
that i'm only sobering up to realise: while drinking...
some rabbi was sussing me out while
giving directions to an unknown tongue of a couple
trying to get to Buckingham Palace:
or rather: st. James' park:
          rabbi rabbi... what's my story?
demoted: but whoever said that the person in authority
has a voice... i wasn't wearing the high viz bib
associated with my "status"
yet people still gravitated toward me regardless
of whether i was wearing zebra stripes
dalmation polka dots or a lion's mame...
                    that just show you authority...
when there is a stature unconcerning about what
visual games are played...
the Asians just started jumping at me all giggly and funny
and like i was their friend...
tonight: more Polish cinema and some
driving test theory...
        but last night...
that allure of that crimson cloud hanging over
my eyes not letting me get to sleep
then waking up early...
     it's almost as if i insurrected hell and told it to rise...
high above and into the heavens
and punctuate the stream-of-consciousness
of heaven... it was... rather... magical...
i'll make up my plans for sleeping longer:
as intended: i'll manage... as long as i don't get
a custard-headache and a lip-trim-vibration
of being constipated...
                 Gary Glitter and rock... rock 'n' roll rock...
rock 'n' roll rock...
no amount of Guns 'n' Roses and Clapton
when coupled with the imagery of...
coulrophobia... William Wallace and the Woad Brigadiers...
because this is England and the English
are only Anglo-Saxons and there's
the Reesh, the Vealsh and the Sceetch to mind...
the Irish the Welsh and the Scots...
             look alive son, comes the Anglo-Slav.
Megan Sherman Oct 2020
Status - wealth - symbolism
These tokens make or break
Elect a soul to different shelves
On path of society's mistake

As in chess - King dominates
Tenements - for pawn
Barracks - for the brigadiers
From whence the battle born

Of royalty - the stripe beget
To any aspiring regent -
They come even in Labour sometimes -
Suzerains of Parliament

But a rose is anybody whose heart harbours -
A love of life and all it's creatures -
Considering the bards to be teachers -
Corbyn most exquisite of preachers -
but Christianity emerged out of Judaism! any other prior religion and i might concede! but this religion goes against everything that is natural and wholesome and ingrained in my psyche long before Christianity emerged! to submerge myself on the forefront of lacerations and castrations and circumcisions is beyond any measure of a healthy psyche! oh sure: plus... plus never mind the diabolical incisions of poetics that might disrupt our natural inclination for pork: because it's such an ergonomic animal that its ears and tail and hooves might be eaten... but no... just let us dabble along with a tinge of cannibalism... but it's just a metaphor... so: ******* what?! pork no good but christ is ******* A:O.K. alright... give me that... give it... let me have my Shylock's pound of flesh... let me in... let me gorge on your flesh... give me: give me... savior... let's see what human flesh tastes like... leave poetic aside... let's be dialecticalically materialistic about it: no poetic... no metaphor... just that corpse... give me give... don't struggle... let me drain all these horros brought upon the pagan world... these deities... these Jihads of words against images... and prior to that: those Crusades of images against graven pillars... like for like, eye for eye... long gone are the day when you could have eloquent critiques of Christianity via the subtle intelligence of Nietzsche... now comes only the bare, ******* minimum!

it's very strange that England's Work and Pensions
Department sends me a letter
with a figure: £2,715.14...
i apparently i owe them that much...
in overpayment of having received Employment
and Support Allowance for the period
01/04/24 through to 29/07/24...
yes: i am guilty of withdrawing money and
stashing it like a good squirrel...
i have roughly that amount: in... physical
money... banknotes...
it's just damnable to think that i can't have
physical money to this amount stashed
and not transparent in a bank account
with a tracker allowing authorities to know
where and when and on what i might
be spending this money on...
this makes me feel less inclined to be an honest
person...
i worked a rubric and it doesn't make sense:
within these confines, having received the allowance
of:
23/8/24 - £318.10
12/8/24 - ditto
29/7/24 - ditto
all the way down to the 08/4/24...
and my earnings... regardless:
but within these confines the double-edged sword:
work no more than 16 hours per week
or earn about £160.00 per week
on top of the allowance...
so where does this figure of nearing £3,000 come from?
the actual, physical money i has stashed
for a rainy day?!
Jocelyn Pook: masked ball music...
i am: living in England and...
i'm watching movies from Communist Poland...
so i am not allowed to have money?
not even money i am not willing to spend?
i don't mind the argument:
but i don't see the calculation and how the sum
of money was arrived at...
i've just been prompted to pay the sum:
oh i can pay it... but i need transparency back
at me...
sure... i'll pay it if i must:
but surely i should only be made to pay back
the difference in how i managed to earn more
than i was supposed to...
so in that period that would come to...
£251.33 earned over the limit of £160.00 allowed:
that's roughly £110.00 in the span of
April, May, June, July...
4 x 4 = 16 weeks... i can pay back the reasonable
ransom of my clerical error of...
£1,760...
                  and this is England? the birthplace of
both capitalism... and of communism!
ha ha ah ha ha ah ha ha ha!
well: isn't it? maybe my earnings for the Yids at
Tottenham became displaced or whatever
******* reason there is:
it's just odd that i have this amount in physical
money and this is the same amount of money
that needs to be circulated back into the system
to allow what? more Bane Banana Boat Brigadiers
to strip me naked: beyond nakedness
to the muscle and bone like some *******
Gunther von Hagens strip show?!
Christianity and it's ******* cannibalistic bureuocracy!
if Christianity arrived from within paganism:
from anywhere else, beside Judaism...
i might have been inclined to submit...
but then Islam emerged as a rhetorical answer to
too many answers being staged!
Christianity is an anti-ontology, it has disrupted
the course of human experience for too long!
if Christianity emerged from any other religion...
from Hinduism... i would concede...
but Christianity emerged from Judaism...
that plagiarism of the ancient ways...
                                 and am i supposed to just:
******* take it: because i might get good church-brothel
***?!
              no... i need a second letter explaining to
me: why i can't have this amount of:
physical money stashed...
      who needs to know what and who or how
i spend it? maybe i should ask these questions to
my A.I. buddy to suss out what's afoot.
my mother,
my my...              mother:
clearly by the tokens
i've collected:
i'm the superficial eulogist
scribble:
time and death and all
that's to pass: self-evidently...

but...

you catch me at 3am
drunken, high:
giddy from creating something
a something that's
symphony...
you corner me:
did i tell you about the Rainbow
Brigadiers of what's ***
unlike?

when i cry the tears become
rivers into my ears
now i have an ant
crawling on my ear
i once had a mosquito:
**** at my neck...
i'm not Christ: i'm just the prefix
of anti-,

the night is dark and
i feel like feeding a symbiosis...
this ant...
crawling around my ear and neck:
yes! i'm feeding it music:
just like the shirt-of-a-****
and ****
i have in my ****
a worm to **** out...
but at least i found the concept of
individualism of ants
and now she it he is sleeping
finding a cuddly spot of pillow of flesh
no spiderweb of architecture...
now when i enter
heaven i will heave a sigh of relief
rather than disappointment:
because i was allowed back in
into Heavean:
i left Hell in the guise of the superiority
of Beelzebub:
i have Matthew typing my thoughts down:
oh: you don't know Matthew?
that's like another lineage of a Jesus...

but why would mother seek me out
at 3am... yes: drinking, yes, smoking:
but not wasting my time:
i did something creatively...
worms in my eyes i can see quiet plain-of-fact...
until i get knocked out:
cobblestone antics?
but woman: even if mother:
she despises not being mentioned:
Tyrant mother:
why do you want to see me
in a state of fermentation of intellect?
atheist that you are...
and i rigid Catholic, like father:
and this new beast of ***
this pacifying the already pacified Pacific...
am i the Napoleon not
for St Helena
but instead Kauai?

ant and spider and worm...
i need to take a ****...
a **** in my **** is like the tongue
in my mouth:
i don't, terribly, need it...
insects have a concept of sleep:
like wow: we have the concept
of the sun with sunglasses...
i've spent a day in hell:
i was the spouse of Pride and the daughter
of Shame...
one day in bed imitating Martin:
i want to be off this carousel of...
i don't even know what i owe to know...
i don't even know what i owe to know!

but at 3am:
and i'm off my rockers and nuts
and she keeps tracking me
as this loser homeless issue:
no no: no issue:
Nero the Captain Comedian
and Emperor:
i'm figuring out where to stab myself...
in the neck...
in the abdomen
in the piercing of armor akin to Kafka...
past the lungs and into the heart...

to give birth to death...
that's what the masculine intention is \
auto-suggestive off of: and of:
i am required to give birth to death...

this **** in my **** like the tongue in
my mouth...
this **** in my **** like the tongue in
my mouth...

sexually harassed at a Taylor Swift concert...
this ******* propaganda:
politically correct:
i took it like a bear:
i was not a monkey back then...
sly on the slide: and the summer stone...
begot suntans...

but why see me at my most destructive-constructive:
don't you know YHWH aligned himself
with Odin...
two are: eyes...
because all this Gabriela topic of the angel
who spoke to Muhammad about
Allah... who never, or ever, spoke since...
but Gabriel only spoke to Mary,
the marrying type... or typo...

        why is Catholicism so alien to the American
mind: let alone intellect... hmm?
and why linger until 3am
to watch me play the dutiful ogre
listening while she displays her...
it's 3am and i'm in-between Flaubert and
Stendhal...

                  so now i will suppose
being a convert...
oh but maybe the Poles are the French of
the Slavs...
but then that leaves a widened opening
for the authority of the Russians...
and i know:
the Germans don't listen to the French
or the English...
vice versus: compliment to the rubric of:
the English don't listen to the French
or the Germans... etc.

i feel obligated to feel ashamed whenever
in Poland and Russia is a topic...
i am a king in pawns...
the queen obligates the bishops and the rooks...
the king is pawn...
the queen... it's all be clarified from
abstract to simplicity to abstract-simplification:
to known to man: phenomenology...

now to **** out that tongue
from my ***...               a welcome... experience.

— The End —