You could careless about another
You just fiqured, why bother
Your only out for yourself

You have no conscience
And show no emotion
The only time your nice
Is when you need something

You play games with peoples minds
But its coming to an end and i promise you
You won't like what you find

There will be no mending
And no comprehending
You may have won the battle
But the war is just begginning

And you cry on the carpet,
Just loud enough to be heard
Well all your dreaming, its nothing
Wipe the stains from your eyes, get the water off the rug
Because death you see is a beginning
And when I told you such things
You suddenly got still, and I thought it was a breakthrough
But then you raised your head up and howled
The way a mother wolf does to an owl
A scream so full of painful meaning

Your words rang bitter and they rang true
Your eyes spilled water, and so did you
and you said "You don't know that, no one ever did,
certainly no one that's come back to live,
its a lie that you tell, to yourself when you dream,
but you most certainly don't know ANYTHING"

And then the carpet disappeared
with all of her tears
But the ringing in my head did never stop
And now i scream from the floor
from the same spot she was before
And i cry for new beginnings

And for the innocence Ive lost
in my tormented youth
the low blows I aimed at the ceiling
Yeah, its the end of a new beginning

The end
The end
of
nothing

When you left a part of me was gone, so I looked for it in cigarettes & boys who didn't know my name
2. I still lay on my bed reminiscing the good memories & questioning myself where did I go wrong
3. I thought I saw you from across the field, heart started beating so fast, then I realized it wasn't you, for that boy had wore sneakers that you completed hated
4. I hear the sound of your voice all the time, replaying all the things you've said to me, my favourite one has got to be "I'll never leave" which was the biggest lie
5. I can't speak your name without feeling like I'm choking
6. I shouldn't have mistaken wasps for butterflies.
7. I still feel your embrace linger all over me
8. I crave your touch especially the nights where I feel most lonely
9. I miss you but I'm going to keep pretending that I don't.
10. Wide awake all night, contemplating if I should text you, but then again you'll probably think I'm insane for not moving on
11. I've burned all the pictures & things you've given me, instead I'm entertained of the burning flakes it makes
12. This time I swear I saw you. I knew it was you, because you looked right through me.
13. I think I'm moving on, waking up each day is starting to get easier & every thought of you is just burned into ashes
14. I'll still be there for you, even if you don't want me anymore.
15. I'm begginning to be happy again & got someone new to kiss me good night.

Don't worry,the world is not a monster,
Though it bares its fangs on you first-time,
Tomorrow it shall be tainted with no crime,
And happiness shall be like a sister!

Don't worry,whenever you worry,tensions hurry,
Luck is outran,outdone,ladyluck is gone!
Just let the moon guide you through this zone
And tomorrow you shall on your way to glory!

Don't worry,don't you worry,my friend,
The bold are gone but it's not the end.
History is made,but mystery lies much in your tarry.
In the begginning it's all a blur and it's so scary,

Light is not shed in the tunnel
And easy pathways,only lead to hell!
Don't worry,pity is in your eyes.
Don't worry,my friend,stand and rise!

Here it comes again.
The stinging of the nose and eyes
that gives rise to tears rushing,
color flushing out from the recesses of your face,
the airhorn that signals your heart to start to race.
All of the ****** secrets in life, all at once,
become painfully clear.
As if we are in a car with no brakes or wheel,
we do not feel
as if we can steer off this crash course.
Like a dead horse that nobody will stop beating,
your weaknesses begin retreating
to the most obvious places in your body.

This is one of those times
where depression becomes less like an ailment
and more like an obsession.
Leaving you smashed
on the sidewalk of your life,
just trying to hold on that extra while longer.
If it's ever been a question
of who's weaker or stronger,
then it clearly has been a losing hand
since the begginning.
You're not winning this one.
But we are the victors, us who managed
to survive ourselves.
To dust off photo albums off happier times
off forgotten and ignored shelves.
We are still here
and the end to this suffering is near.

Just hang on.

When I was just 2 years old my parents pushed each other to the point of breaking,
My house hold was a war zone for at least 5 years… no happy smiles and no giggling after dark
I sat in my room dreaming about what it would have been like if I was the lawyer that ruined my life…
If I could have let this little girls life fall apart right in front of her.
If I could have been the one to say yes to her parents leaving her in a room for longer than should be accepted.
If I could have just sat there looking at her crying mother and done nothing
…
Now im 15, im older… its whatever now
I guess im used to seeing my mom cry and my dad yell for no reason
I guess ive adapted to not having a perfect life like all my so called “friends” do
Sometimes I wonder how that lawyers life was affected like mine was 13 years later
I guess little girls crying every night isn’t a big enough trigger warning…
…
17, I still lay down and think how heartless you must be
You’ve made me wonder, what if its my fault….
What if they didn’t want me, what if I was the one to cause the fights?
No that cant be I was just a child, you said they loved me…
…
I turned 25 today,
I guess I forgive you, you were just doing your job…
And I cant hold you accountable for the pain i've felt for the last 23 years.
I cant blame you for having my life crumble beneath my feet,
I cant tell you how much im sorry for screaming, how sorry I am for sheading all of those tears…
And how sorry I am to tell you that my life line is in your hands…
…
Im going be turning 26 in less than five months!
Guess that means a new begginning, new life for me, but trust me your not getting involved in this one

Our life a dazzling dream and the death a new arrival,
there is no end and never was a begginning.
Thousand centuries will gone and will leave faint signs
in the breaths of time, thousand suns will light up
and will burst and unexpected visitors
will come and will gone,
but something innate in us knows,
we were, we are, and will be forever,
a timeless gentle touch in eternity's face.