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Roberta Day May 2014
Instead of for you,
This is for me. I’m allowed
to be selfish once in a while.
I’ve been too hung up on you;
my head has been in the clouds.
I haven’t seen my feet or felt the ground,
but I’m in no rush to get back. My head
is light, it feels clear. My transparent
goals are more visible than ever. I can
almost reach them with phantom limbs.
I’m adapted to the air up here, but
I am still not satisfied. The only thing
that stimulates me other than you
is only felt through my soul. The notes
on this bridge—like the one on your back—
serenade me into delusion I don’t want to
wake from. If I could sing forever, my ears
would be heaven’s gates. Rings that wail,
delay and distort, bouncing from wall to
wall before beating my ear drums and
sending my nerves on a six foot wave
adrenaline foaming at the edge
breaking the tangible, dissipating
the mundane, cracking the film of
reality like a rock against a windshield.
It is calling me, I can hear its echo,
seismically en route to plant the seed.
I must listen — this sound I must heed
My destiny lies within my fingertips,
where all my convictions will seep.
Focused ideas written while slightly intoxicated.
Summer Sep 2016
Sally takes a lot of pills
So she'll have something to write songs about
I wonder if she's doing okay
She took a lot of ****** yesterday.
She takes them just to feel
Because her antidepressants don't do enough
She swears one day she'll be famous
And it isn't because of the drugs
Emptier than the space between our fingetips
sally feels pure as she floats up to her ceiling.
Zoloft, Xanax, adderrall
Make for good lines and good stories
She knows without them she'd be like all the other girls
she falls in love with boys she meets on the Internet every week
hoping they’ll fill whatever has been missing
she can't communicate with them for long
and gets bored
their bodies don’t make her feel as holy
as the pills
no floating up to the ceiling.
she finds another one who will pop molly with her all day long
and watch her slender body fade into the sheets
sally loves pills and nothing more
the boys just make the images in her head seem clearer almost
She knows they won't last long
Sally just wants more pills
the streets full of people don't scare her
And the space between us is growing
Like the pit of her stomach
Because it's pill after pill after pill
And one doesn't do enough anymore
sally likes fading away
surrounded by her blonde hair
her body being somewhere else
she feels less empty that way.
No one understands sally
not even herself
She hasn’t told anyone she’s loved them and meant it
it doesn’t scare her anymore.
because when she fades away
nobody worries anymore.
Sally pushed out the boy with the twilight smile,
took six 2 mgs of klonopin and a whole lot of vidocin
And sally invited sadness into her bed, instead.
and let it **** her
all
night
long
she didn't make much sound
just a small whimper
And then her mind went quiet
and Sally left just how she felt.
PETE Jun 2022
His name is Tyler.
Works eight hour shifts
and every two he takes a smoke break
its like my reward
four cigarettes every day isn't all that bad.

yeah
i'm buying my second pack today
i got this girl that is adamant about me stopping
a good start to a conversation to break up the gas station monotony
she really loves me man.
I take the pack.
Slam it against my empty palm.
Spin it between my thumb
and *******.
Slam it again.
its good though

Tyler's smile is like a hopeful wish.
Maybe he has a woman himself
its worth it if you like her enough
maybe he already lost her.

I spare him the usual dialogue
shes worth it
as I spin.
Slam.
Spin.
Slam.
have a good night man
A couple airy coughs open up my throat
take it easy
Spin.
Slam.
-
A gas station attendant at 10:26pm knows about you.
He knows that you love me enough to ask me to stop complacently killing myself.
And I know.
So that should be enough.
But these adderrall binges have me more on edge
than the eight hundred miles that separate us.

— The End —