"accostomed" poems
I miss the old you.
I wish I could still
Be allowed to hold you
Close in my arms on
Sunday mornings
And feel you kiss my
Neck late Friday nights.
I wish I could still
Hold your arm going
Into a restaurant at night
I wish I could still
Tell people that I was yours
And you are mine.
But that’s not what life has
In store for us right now.
For when I left you is when
You truly showed your power.
When you truly started
Taking care of yourself
And loving yourself unconditionally
And to me that’s worth
More than anything
I’d feel so selfishly.
I’m not trying to say it
Was all sunshine
And rainbows
It wasn’t.
But just your body
And heart
Wrapped around mine in the dark
Is a feeling I’m accostomed
Goodbye baby
Are you feeling crazy
Like me
Goodbye baby
I’ve been losing
My mind
Lately.
The worst goodbyes
Are the ones
That you know
You could’ve stopped
Jan 26, 2018
Jan 26, 2018 at 1:40 PM UTC
It's easier to be alone and away
To have a reason not to stray
Yet all i want is to jump off the road
And sprint to where the river flowed
Waves crashing on the river bank
Screaming of unheard voices that sank
Now the water has all dried from our eyes
But no worries, not long new rivers will arise
This time ill run like lightning into the woods
Reveal all the secrets i haven't understood
The fear of being devoured by wolves does not phase me
Nor do the red glowing eyes staring behind flowering dogweed trees
Still i do fear leaving the road all on my own
Severing myself from everything i've ever known
These rocks and pebbles that i have come to know so well
Yet all these roots and weeds haven't even scratched my outer shell
Why am i anxious of rocks and pebbles
Why can't i gather the courage to rebel
Patient trying to grow accostomed to this aesthetic
No need to lie to myself, i've just become apathetic
As the roots try to chain me to tranditional toil
My feet cant help but itch for new soil
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 2:48 PM UTC
Alone is being surrounded
By a crowd all day every day
And not feeling a god **** thing
Alone is being in a room filled with people
People who consider you close
People who truely care for you
People who you've invested in
In their lives , in their emotions
People who have laid themselves bare
Yet you're so emotionally disfunctional
You're unable to connect on any level
People who you know so well
Yet they know so very little about you
People who think you have it together
Who dont know you're caught in a whirlwind
Of depression and anxiety and above all
A lonelyness that you cant seem to shake
A parasite ******* out all the empathy u have
Until you're just a factory compressed machine
Doing what it's been programmed to do
You realize how defective you are
Not when u feel lonely cause no one is in ur life
But when there are so many who do care
Who do want to listen to your problems
To your anxieties, to your fears
People u know you can trust
Yet you've become so accostomed to this demon
If anyone is your friend, it's that demon
Looming over u every night as u lay numb,
Heart compressing as if about to give out
And just collapse on itself
That's loneliness
And you cant depart with it
Because it's your only friend
You're so conditioned that u cant possibley
Fathom yourself without it
You're trapped
And loneliness is all you have
All you know.
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 5:33 PM UTC