and today
on this day of
your birth
I am ******
down into
the rhythms
of all that
we have been
until this moment
the biting rawness
             of new ebbs
the saddened veins
that vibrate
like used, worn
           guitar strings
the curve of
your fingers
that once played
            upon my skin
your weighted down aura
that I can no longer penetrate
and buoy up
and here I stand
all glowing light spirals
my head whirring
in mystic opulence
my gaze pulled to
the reverence of stars
my purity of river
in a swoosh
around my waist
that gurgling clarity
of liquid
pooling me in sacred
                            cleansing
that I must now take into
another rush
of estuary
and as I raise my arms
to the heavens
I almost fade
into the floodlights
                            of time
and my tears
push through
my skin
like the clear
jewels
of
salvation

Laying on a sheetless matress,
day-drinking until bottled spirit dry.
Loveless in a ghost's nest,
never believing I
could be something more,
something from a Christmas card.
Take the long neck, smash the body
and fantasize to the shard.

Candy-sweet ballads
****** heartache arias
Undying
soulmate
anthems

Everywhere I go
The soundtrack never changes
But no one else
seems
to notice

Red-rose shades of white noise
Heart-shaped confetti stuck in my ears
Jangling
omnipresent
sound waves

The song everyone is singing
Grates against my inner drum
It's not
the kind
I'm looking for

Please do not call yourself a rebound.
A rebound is a disgusting sound that screams out after a breakup,
It’s a call for attention to the heartbreak.
You were not that.
You were the first full breath of fresh air after running a marathon.
You were a resurrection, an awakening.
Yes, I was fragile.
Yes, I was vulnerable.
But you did not take advantage of me.
Your touch didn’t take me from my body,
It grounded me.
Your mouth did not shrink me down,
It allowed the confidence to bloom inside of me.
With you,
I saw my five foot frame grow to heights I never imagined reaching.
With you,
I was not a hollowed out shell of a love that used to exist.
With you,
I was a human who owned their body,
Who could fight wars with her words,
Who could live forever.
So, please, do not call yourself a rebound,
Because a rebound does not bring comfort,
A rebound does not bring light,
A rebound does not bring growth,
But you,
You do.