She cried diamonds.

They ran down her cheeks in rivets.

Glistening under the moonlight, she cried diamonds.

They pooled at the bottom.

Looking at the mirror, she cried diamonds.

They fell, echoing in the silence.

She fell with them.

my eyes drift across the tv screen.
walks during late afternoons and the sun is setting at the perfect time
their hands glued to their sides
awkward glances and how their fingertips rise and graze
my eyes drift across the tv screen.
into blurs of doors that shut closed
and the chase
and the numerous apologies and tear stains left on his hoodie as the comforting feeling of company returns once again
oh how i miss that feeling
it feels like a stranger to me now
a stranger that comes and goes
comes for small visits to bring me cherry pie and flaunt her ways
only to leave me craving more of this wretched company
my eyes drift across the tv screen.
flower bouquets on muddy doorsteps in the rain
their touch and the longing
how the longing feels like a close but distant friend
that appears and disappears and reappears as the clock continues to keep ticking into infinity
and everything is perfect
and everything seems like it’s meant to be
the cherry pie sticks to my throat
this feeling of longing and temporary love
not the things that lead up to real love all from meeting at a gas station on a tuesday
but this love that i watch and admire
the love i hold in my frail hands so dearly
growing up admiring her ways and being taught that this is that
this love that’s always there to make me feel nauseous but jealous at the same time
i crave for this temporary love.
but it will never come
atleast not how i expect it will and how it is through a screen
***** it.
im still so young and this shouldn’t be such a sudden dream for me.
the longing picks at my insides and tosses me around like an empty can on the sidewalk
this temporary love is all that i see right now
but soon it will grow to become more than that
atleast i hope so.

Why do I think you love me when you don't
Why do I feel you longing when you won't
Why do I feel ways I've never felt before
For someone who's never walked through my door
Why do I try so hard to believe
In a false idea that can only deceive
Why does my heart weigh heavy for you
Why don't you feel the way I do
How did you capture me like prized prey
How can you throw me back to the wild frey
How can I feel love for the idea of you
When the only truth left is you don't want me to
When my love feels light and blows on the wind
I find myself on your hook reeled in again
But you aren't throwing it out for a catch
You just want me gone, a bad batch
I'm sorry for loving you
But still I can't help it, I do
I cant explain
I can only exclaim
That your worth all the love I have to give
But my mistakes infuriate you to seeth
Well it is all done and blocked off now
Is it my turn to get over you somehow

ugh it's all because of you
I'm starting to listen to love songs all day

I want to mold myself to the person I know you'll love

I know you love video games
what do you want from me

It's hurting my brain
I don't want to change
but I want you to like me

I have a million things to say
stupid brain
the minute you're here
I turn away

I play out scenarios in my head
I should stop myself
before I go too far ahead

none of my friends care about what I want to say
about what I have to say

now I'm overthinking
I don't want to be annoying

pushed away
or do I keep pulling

I'm kinda sick
but that doesn't matter

we don't ask eachother

are we doing okay
we're just standing around

waiting to see who makes the first sound


it kinda hurts

this is the best we can be

this is so so close


ask me what time I went to sleep


I saw you awake
hearing your favorite song