I was told told this was the place.  
Here you'll find your destiny.
Between these desert brown sheets.
In an effort to find who I am
I leveled myself down,
digging through the sand.
Unaware the sand was sinking,
hushing my thoughts for over thinking.
I performed the sacred desert dance,
in the name of romance.
Still searching for who I am,
digging deeper into the sand.
The faster my body moves,
the more the ground begins to ****.
My conjured romance,
Is just another ****.

Once said
Birds of a feather flock together
Same goes for pigs and swine
I say
People together; all shape & size
Love n dance & commune with wine.

I watch you destroy yourself one sip at a time.
Spending late nights searching for your ***** sprite,
asking people left and right,
if they got that medicine that's gonna make you feel alright.
Just lookin' to get a few sips,
take a few hits,
maybe see a few ****.
Because that's gonna make you feel alright.
I watch you destroy yourself one sip at a time.
so ****** up you can't walk a straight line.
Wonderin' if this is really how your spending your time!
****.
a few more sips and you can put that thought out of your mind.
I watch you destroy yourself one. sip. at. a time.
Hollowing out your own god ****** heart,
ripping the fibers of who you are apart.
no identity.
afraid to be,
wanting to be,
struggling to be,
What's that word?
free.
I watch you destroy yourself one sip at a time.
Couple drinks in and you're thinking you've found your destiny in the *** of some little dime.
Can't get a grip.
Blinded by
hollywood
materialism
narcissism
and all that *******.
And your EGO
E
G
O
Is edging your own god out.
feeling sick and full of doubt.
Caught up on the wrong route.
Youre being misguided, mislead, ill advised,
but your bank account has all those digits,
so who gives a **** that you're destroying your insides.
I've shoveled more **** that I wish to admit.
I've had my fair share of different kinds of sip sip sips.
I know your game, and I know why you're running.
But "****** up"?
Isn't very becoming.

as the poems go into the thousands you
realize that you've created very
little.
it comes down to the rain, the sunlight,
the traffic, the nights and the days of the
years, the faces.
leaving this will be easier than living
it, typing one more line now as
a man plays a piano through the radio,
the best writers have said very
little
and the worst,
far too much.
from ONTHEBUS - 1992

I didn't want to remember
but never tried to forget
and I almost didn't leave
yet I wouldn't go back
I wish I hadn't chosen
but wouldn't change a thing
I'm constantly humming a tune
yet without a song to sing
Feeling so claustrophobic
but afraid to venture outside
I'm sitting here hopefully
yet dwelling on goodbyes
I refuse to release more tears
but my eyes are brimming still
as I linger in warm thoughts
always confused about how I feel

Particles condensing
Colliding
Collapsing
On top of me
Your limbs
Closing in
Fast
No time to react
Overwhelmed by the pressure
The air
Filling
Space depleted
Too soon
Not a corner is left
Empty
Every inch of my body
Surrounded
Wrapped up
Your possession
Vigorously, I shake
A wild turbulent with no course
But I cannot throw this stifling cover

I am gasping for breath
But my jaw remains hinged

I am clawing to break free
But I can't even lift my arms

I punish myself with words
give them the freedom
  to invade my mind
   tormenting my own soul
     Why do I do this so many times?

I'm inflicting my own pain
and cannot seem to stop
  On desperately dark nights
   the cruelty, so strong
    I don't know what's real
     and what's not

Sleep is no longer an option
I drag my body
  to be with the living
   Still alone
    and so frightened though
     I'm like a child
      that's scared and grieving

at their best, there is gentleness in Humanity.
some understanding and, at times, acts of
courage
but all in all it is a mass, a glob that doesn't
have too much.
it is like a large animal deep in sleep and
almost nothing can awaken it.
when activated it's best at brutality,
selfishness, unjust judgments, ******.
what can we do with it, this Humanity?
nothing.
avoid the thing as much as possible.
treat it as you would anything poisonous, vicious
and mindless.
but be careful. it has enacted laws to protect
itself from you.
it can **** you without cause.
and to escape it you must be subtle.
few escape.
it's up to you to figure a plan.
I have met nobody who has escaped.
I have met some of the great and
famous but they have not escaped
for they are only great and famous within
Humanity.
I have not escaped
but I have not failed in trying again and
again.
before my death I hope to obtain my
life.
from blank gun silencer - 1994

Are you okay?

What a loaded question.

No I'm not.

I feel like I am losing control.

My mind,

It's flipping inside out.

But here's the thing,

You don't actually care.

You don't have the time to hear,

To really listen to my answer,

To deal with my answer,

And I don't actually want to tell you.

So yes,

Every **** day

I am

**Fine