I feel your skin,
And taste your lips,
I see your eyes,
I hear your words,
I smell your hair,
You always linger on my clothes,
I hear your steps,
Walk along an empty broken road,
I hear your voice faintly yell,
My name,  
I think that's where I'll go,
I rush and run,
Wait for me,
I say,
Don't leave me behind,
I don't know what I'll do,
If you say you're not mine,
Look at your watch,
It's not time to go,
Just wait a little longer,
I'll come home soon,
This poem is a *******,
And I can't help but cry,
I can't help, but wonder why.
I wonder how much time you got,
And wonder if I steal some,
I wonder how long you'll stay,
On my empty path,
Full of cracks and shatters,
I wonder if you smell me when you're home alone,
Or if you hear my voice,
Laughing at what you'd think I'd find funny,
I wonder if every song reminds you of me,
I wonder if you think of me while doing laundry,
I wonder if I'm constant thought,
Or an occasional event,
I wonder if you want to scream my name,
When you break a dish,
I wonder if you touch your lips,
While thinking there's something amiss,
I wonder if you picture me in bed,
With me wrapped around your arms,
Do you want to be wrapped around mine?
Because that's fine,
More than fine with me.
I've felt your skin,
And tasted your lips,
I've seen your eyes,
And now I wonder why,
I heard your words,
And smelled your hair,
But now wonder why you linger there,
I hear your steps,
Walk along an empty broken road,
I hear your voice faintly yell,
My name,
Yet there's no one when I turn,
I'm going crazy,
That must be it,
It has to be a lie,
But for once,
I actually thought someone might have wanted me in their life.

She managed to forge her way through my forest of tainted leafed thoughts,
Torn ****** memories,
And a ripped, corrupted bible,
She became the book I could read over and over,
While expecting a different result,
Am I insane?
The soft pillows of her smile crawled all over my body and landed on my collarbone, hipbone, chest, and forehead.
The small wrinkles I have around my eyes and smile seemed to always let her in,
Even when she's never asked to come in.
The curves I have fit perfectly into the cups of her sweet nourishing hands.
She left her fingerprints on me.
I swear I didn't see them sink in.
I don't know how they got there.
She left her thoughts in me.
I swear I shredded them.
I don't know how they got there.
How would I know that she could ruin me?
Her fingertips would fly across the frets and I'd sit there idly, wondering why she let me stay there.
The tips of her hair would reflect against the sun's rays and I would think they were little snowflakes.
She was the dark midnight sky,
And the trees would sway in awe because of  her pulchritude.
She was harmonious,
The way she blinked with her dark straight lashes fit uniquely with the way she stepped on the cracked, root showing, LA pavement.
The way she spoke and the way her lips moved made you wonder if she was singing.
And if she was singing,
Could she sing your name?
The way she wrote and the letters that were painted made you wonder if she was an artist,
If only she could sketch you.
The way she breathed with the slight sighs,
Made you want to breathe the way she did.
She made you want to write poetry.
And that all made you uncomfortable.
You wish you could just hit the restart button and have no saved changes.
You wish you could have just removed the tangling thoughts of her that slithered into your head.
You wish you could just walk away without second thoughts.
But there's only a tiny part that wants that.
Only a tiny part of this points to heart
Wishes she'd never existed.
The rest would let her slowly make your mind intact,
Even when you know that's not possible.
The rest would give up nights only to think if she was thinking of you too,
The rest would give up sleep so she'd have the best sleep ever.
The rest would stay up lonely, so she wouldn't be.
The rest would let itself be the paper she'd scribble on about how she wants to leave this dead end town.
The rest would do anything.
Anything for her.
Always.
I swear I don't know how this happened.
I didn't think she'd mess me up.

your happiness should NEVER be based solely on one person.
your home shouldn't ever be nestled inside of someone's chest
or tucked into the creases of their arms.
your happiness shouldn't be measured by the amount of times they say i love you
or by how many times their fingers intertwine with yours
because if you want to get brutally honest here,
happiness that's based on a person will forever and always lead to disappointment.
because the second that they even as much as threaten to step out of the door,
you're back to the way you were
or even worse.
you're left with a shadow of your former self.
you can't make a person your home no matter how sturdy you think the foundation is because their arms will always crumble around you and leave you cold.
not because they meant to,
but because they weren't built to.
they could have had every intention of holdin' you up steady,
but no matter how hard they try,
their arms will never compare because
they weren't made to be your brick walls.
you have got to understand that.
you can't put that much weight on one person.
one human being.
one soul.
they can love you.
they surely can love you.
they can love you with all of their heart.
and as you to them,
but your home should not be composed of
veins that do not belong to you,
and arms that aren't attached to your own body.
your happiness shouldn't be solely based on the way
that your body seems to perfectly coincide with theirs.
they can surely be a factor,
a part of your happiness.
but babe,
you're in some trouble if they're your whole.

The new moon rises,
And the day has just end,
Here I come to my pillow,
And a worry filled bed.
The trees sing with the wind,
The wind floats and swims through the leaves,
My mind is ready to commit sin.
I must be insane for doing this again.

A lavender bed,
Where we were to lie in,
The soft green carpet,
That would tickle our feet,
Seems a bit expensive to keep.
The trees, they weep,
Because the birds sing,
They sing of their missing bird.

A hungry pup sits on the porch,
Forgets its appetite in hopes of its friend coming back.
The pup grows old,
And thunder appears one day.
The pup goes inside.
The pup whimpers,
Sad because its friend is not there to comfort it.
Poor pup.

3 years have passed,
The pup is a full grown dog.
The birds have stopped singing,
The trees have stopped weeping.
Pup no longer waits,
But just sleeps.

The bird comes back,
With a new tune,
The full grown dog,
Recognizes the voice.

"It's been so long",
Said the dog.
"What took you so long?"

"I got sidetracked,
And needed to see the world."
Said the bird.

"I wish you came back sooner."
The dog says as it takes its last breath.

The bird chirps their song,
And finally says,
"I wish I did too."

When you left, I didn't feel it,
I didn't feel a thing but sweet, sweet relief
and the breath I had been holding since you said "I love you"
left my body all at once.
All at once.
That's how it hit me.
The pain didn't creep up on me.
It hit me.
All.
at.
once.
full force at my throat
into my lungs, chasing the oxygen I had left
through my blood stream and out of my throat.
all.
at.
once.
It smelt like our first kiss.
Sloppy.
Awkward.
and *****.
not because we we're being ***** ourselves,
but we were, quite literally, *****, on the ground, next to the lake.
I wonder if anyone ate that pizza we left because we were so full of each other, we didn't have room to eat it.
Last week,
I couldn't breathe. I was walking home from work,
and it smelt like you.
It smelt like late nights in your car,
it smelt like Sunday mornings in your bed
when neither of us wanted to get up but your parents were going to be home soon.
it smelt like my high school parking lot, where you asked me to be your girlfriend, and I barely responded because I could not stop smiling.
it smelt like hello and sunshine and summer.
it smelt like goodbye and cold and winter.
and it smelt like you and it hit me,
all.
at.
once.








and it's over.

My accomplishment goes unnoticed,
she apologizes and asks once more,
I start again
she walks away.
I look towards the empty space
and I am five again.
Small and helpless
and alone

I can hear my watch ticking
I never noticed that before