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  Jan 2020 Noura
besidethefallenfigs
I lost myself at age 7.
I crawled into bed and then disappeared.
my childhood behind me—
erased.
set on fire.
all it took was one touch for it all to burn down.
no more trust.
no more love.
no more innocence.
gone.
  Jan 2020 Noura
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Who gave thee, O Beauty!
The keys of this breast,
Too credulous lover
Of blest and unblest?
Say when in lapsed ages
Thee knew I of old;
Or what was the service
For which I was sold?
When first my eyes saw thee,
I found me thy thrall,
By magical drawings,
Sweet tyrant of all!
I drank at thy fountain
False waters of thirst;
Thou intimate stranger,
Thou latest and first!
Thy dangerous glances
Make women of men;
New-born we are melting
Into nature again.
Lavish, lavish promiser,
Nigh persuading gods to err,
Guest of million painted forms
Which in turn thy glory warms,
The frailest leaf, the mossy bark,
The acorn's cup, the raindrop's arc,
The swinging spider's silver line,
The ruby of the drop of wine,
The shining pebble of the pond,
Thou inscribest with a bond
In thy momentary play
Would bankrupt Nature to repay.

Ah! what avails it
To hide or to shun
Whom the Infinite One
Hath granted his throne?
The heaven high over
Is the deep's lover,
The sun and sea
Informed by thee,
Before me run,
And draw me on,
Yet fly me still,
As Fate refuses
To me the heart Fate for me chooses,
Is it that my opulent soul
Was mingled from the generous whole,
Sea valleys and the deep of skies
Furnished several supplies,
And the sands whereof I'm made
Draw me to them self-betrayed?
I turn the proud portfolios
Which hold the grand designs
Of Salvator, of Guercino,
And Piranesi's lines.
I hear the lofty Pæans
Of the masters of the shell,
Who heard the starry music,
And recount the numbers well:
Olympian bards who sung
Divine Ideas below,
Which always find us young,
And always keep us so.
Oft in streets or humblest places
I detect far wandered graces,
Which from Eden wide astray
In lowly homes have lost their way.

Thee gliding through the sea of form,
Like the lightning through the storm,
Somewhat not to be possessed,
Somewhat not to be caressed,
No feet so fleet could ever find,
No perfect form could ever bind.
Thou eternal fugitive
Hovering over all that live,
Quick and skilful to inspire
Sweet extravagant desire,
Starry space and lily bell
Filling with thy roseate smell,
Wilt not give the lips to taste
Of the nectar which thou hast.

All that's good and great with thee
Stands in deep conspiracy.
Thou hast bribed the dark and lonely
To report thy features only,
And the cold and purple morning
Itself with thoughts of thee adorning,
The leafy dell, the city mart,
Equal trophies of thine art,
E'en the flowing azure air
Thou hast touched for my despair,
And if I languish into dreams,
Again I meet the ardent beams.
Queen of things! I dare not die
In Being's deeps past ear and eye,
Lest there I find the same deceiver,
And be the sport of Fate forever.
Dread power, but dear! if God thou be,
Unmake me quite, or give thyself to me.
Noura Jan 2020
perhaps the only constant of human affairs,
sting,
relief,
the corpse cold limbs.


you adjust yourself


I will not be made to relive the shell shock

a moment, suspended

a reminder

we are all visitors
one mustn't get too comfortable
fate playfully, sternly reminding us
that is just what we are
                                         passers by,
so is everyone we cherish

fleeting phantoms carrying a suitcase
with remnants of the us they knew
we try to ****** it away
convince them they have no right to any part of us.


it is so haunting
the reminder
that the damage is done
overstayed visits come with the hefty cost of learning to accept what we cannot change
and the time has come
to migrate north?
to flee the scene?


if only
those who have bulleted their goodbyes
could learn
to never go back to the scene of the crime.
Noura Dec 2019
its truly remarkable,
the faded stains that stare right through me
the tip of your blade lodged between my ribs
daring me to move
and somehow, I do
and in time, I forget
how it felt before your blade
and
no memory lingers
of the moment metal struck flesh
the ache, it lulls me to sleep
and cradles my rung out fleet
my shrine, beloved sanctuary of the ******
and when I am put to eternal sleep
lay that wonder blade beside me
no longer
will I struggle or squirm beneath its weight
we are now equal
it is fate
Noura Dec 2019
its warm, the softest haze
and i find myself thinking
this isnt how its supposed to be
i'm to be on an empty dock
at dawn
wet wind slapping me in the face
just as the truth sets in
that all things must come to an end
and it is the most magnificent things
that never stay
and i would watch you sail away
and i wouldn't cry
because i've been told to save my tears
never let good suffering go to waste
dip my feather in velvet tears for when long nights strech and my paper is as empty as my chest

but

here i am
its comfortably warm and the sun embraces all of our flesh
as if i am its most beloved green
and it so unfair
for the world to turn its back on me
how am i to be miserable
with so much peace surrounding me?
i will find my dock
i will find a way to make use of this
my tears mean something
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