half of my friends are in middle school
i wonder if im breaking a rule
16 with besties that are barely teens
but trust me
i have good reasoning
i never got to be 13
my memory is blocked
my brains way of erasing trauma
i’m living through these middle schoolers
trying to fill the gap
helping them make memories
i’ll never even have
i just want to make sure
that they don’t break like me
that they look back and feel happy about who they were
and not what they had to grow from

“you’re so mature for your age”
i was 8
i don’t think i should be mature at 8
i shouldn’t even know what “mature” means
i should’ve been a kid but he robbed me

“YOU NEED TO ACT YOUR AGE”
i am!! i finally am!!!
i’m 14 and messed up completely
this is what it’s like now to be a teen

“act like an adult”
yet i’m treated like a child
no wonder you think im wild

your calling me crazed?
babe im freaking insane!!
i’m 16 and everytime that you call
i bang my head against the wall
i wanna KICK,
SCREAM,
and CRY!!
but that’s not how i should behave
it’s not how i was raised
because im “so mature for my age”

Tempting as it is I will not give in
Of course, there is no excuse.
Obliterated conscience continues to hesitate

Lapse in judgement could end it
All of it
Try as I might to stay nice
Every thing I've worked for is thrown out.

I’m crazy enough to like you
Even though you hate me
Hate is a strong word
Like the love I feel inside me

I try to stop the feeling
But it comes back stronger
I just want it to stop
I don't want it any longer

I know my feelings are a burden to you
So I try to hide it
This one sided love will stay as is
Because you can’t commit

I can’t make people feel things
Anymore
It doesn’t matter
Anymore
If I use different sp a   C in    G
Or

Stanzas

The broken poet
No rhythm
No rhyme
Anymore