I think words aren’t enough anymore
(Had they been before?)
I don’t remember the last time I really
Laughed without a care in the world, maybe
There were some funnier moments but nothing
Where I could get the thoughts out of my head
I think you get what I’m saying,
Right? Instead
They get temporarily
Pushed to the back of my mind
Only to haunt me
Minutes later. I’ll find
Them unexpectedly
Perhaps halfway
Through a lesson but the voice up there says
That it’s all my fault because I
Was the one that let all this time pass by
Without doing anything productive and the time
Is going to add up and I’m
Going to die alone
Penniless and unknown
To the world and we
All know that they’re going to forget me
After a while of my absence, all they need is to
Get someone from the same cookie
Cutter and bam moving on is rather easy to do.
People care, I know
(I hope) and while there’s just so
Many thanks I’ve yet to say it’s just hard to
Put it all into words
And they’ve definitely all heard
The same thing before because my friends are all far
Too good for me. But still my bar
Is set too high
For those that fall through my
Sieve but then again it is a me
Problem; what else could it be–
Nothing, that is– and so
I return to my computer where
I’ve been sitting for the past half hour, my wet hair
Making my neck and shoulders start to ache
But I just can’t bring myself to break
Eye contact with the screen or go
Grab the hairdryer (if you know you know).
Sorry I wasted your time reading this; I
Tend to forget that people like you
Have better things to do.
im so so tired. there isnt anything worth living for anymore.