my eyes grow paler each day,
ive watched enough time pass,
two orbs, complete with a sky,
forests, creeks, and mountains,
the life contained within the body
was stored in the soil, behind our
eyes, there is a day that I hope to come,
I just need another day.

attached, captivated even, by
rosescaled gums, it isn't bone,
it's pulp, rattling in your mouth,
ricocheting off one another;
with all of this kinetic energy,
one could move a landscape,
the forests are your intestines,
plural and cavernous, every tree
is a member of one body

One body, lost at sea, never seemed
to find the peace that it set out to see

These are just two pieces of my body,
why do they remember everything?

people speak to hear themselves think,  

there are no more conversations,

no more characters to play



I am an actor wearing out my grief

between the lines that barricades fatigue,  

I cannot be tired if I wish to produce,  

such is the waking nightmare of grief,  

which renders feeling a commodity, a production

profitable in utility, as if “use” ever was real



with my ancestors as guardian angels, I am guaranteed to fall

into addiction, whether it be coffee and its ability to temporarily

halt grief, or when it’s midday and life wanes as if it were framed,

As if empowerment of the businesses through the destruction of my body

justifies the tears forming the empty warzones of childhood memory,  



My writing is power and the corruption of
inner-peace, invaluable until the end,  

indivisible until I’m bleeding out, begging for mercy

My tears, damp with grief, can finally crash

into the earth

Another labor of love gone unpaid

imagine that you're space music

fast asleep, amidst a gentle swarm of piano keys:

         A twisting void of everything you know  



     I, We forgot to give these words intentions

      because dreams started to unravel us,

these open sores in outer space bleed a dream:

connect to the world using the diseases in our brain, spill onto the world

a chemical that does not fade across lightyears, not a poison, but I am blue in the face

from screaming at myself in my bathroom mirror, the “I” that does not dream, but

chokes me all the same.



re-  asphyxiation

the voice that comes out of my throat regurgitates symbols that sound pretty,

but are only reflections of meaning, so that every word must be sick to its stomach, throwing

up, because the other I hasn’t forgiven me yet

do you ever feel like

your non-apparent body

  reduces your state of being?

I feel like a ‘would’ chip.

my body reduced to half a heart, blood of thorns,

On my “knees” doing “back-breaking” work that requires me  

to perform an autopsy on myself. Instead,  

I curb-stomp it against the sidewalk and clench my jaw,

wondering how to dream a little bigger.

I’m not murderer, though you might charge me with heresy as I stick “my” fingers down

my throat, the middle and index, and bring back the dead from still-born memories drifting

through Space.  

by never living in the first place, imagining that I is alive is simple;

pain seeps into my skin from the bile that I’ve slathered myself in.  

     If I were on earth, it would hurt more.







My writing takes up Space,

Allows me to breathe again,  

convincing me that I am not just keys,  

but an orchestra, a sound symphony

other times, it deludes

me into trying to make any noise at all  

     in the vacuum of what “I think”.

   I can't keep exploding

for another million years,

when will this half-life end?



lost in a body I can't remember,

          dreaming took the weight off of answering

      to questions that appear timeless



I’ve always dreamed of being human. At every Birthday party I didn’t have because no one

would come, every time I cried myself to sleep, every time someone died and came back,

“I” thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be better in a world without feeling?”



Everything has already exploded,

now, I am the last to go

What would writing be but the body of everything you wish to dream?

my body anti-matters,

a plane of forgotten space parted

at my hips, my jaw dragging behind me

like the trail of tears climbing my sunlight.




fallen into disrepair,

begging God to **** the belief

that I can go on like this  




my body weighs in,

"Would you drown for salvation?"




One day, I looked into the mirror, glassy-eyed

Turned my back on my body,  

who can't pick his battles,  

"You are chapped lips. You are yellow yelling teeth. One day, you're going to wake up,

choking on unexplored territory."




I went to sleep, screaming all the way down.

Where was "I"?
















At the very bottom of my throat

was a boy who wasn't me, but what I did.

knuckles-deep in my throat, while yelling  

"5 TIMES, 13 TIMES, 22 TIMES WITH NO END IN SIGHT"

he couldn't breathe in the still air,

but he's still waiting for a response.




If only he'd come out when I was there.

instead, he can't smile like he did before.




"He should've drowned in absurdity, shoveling painkillers down his maw with  

a glass-half-empty of bile to wash away the tears."




from below, we are both screaming.

This time, my carcass and I agree,  

One day I'll be consumed, but I'll savor it.




Dear God, up in heaven,

give me your blessing to eat this boy,

so that he doesn't die a prisoner,




but is consumed all the same.

I wake up every morning with a headache,

My mouth, an outlet for the bitterness,

Enthralled by the peeling tragedy that is

Ingesting enough caffeine to forget how to write



I am well-oiled, a glutton of efficiency,

Pour that Venti down my throat, I’ll still be hungry

Last year, Starbucks made $32B from selling gasoline,

Today, the hand of Productivity choked the life out of me.



I am no addict, it’s not one of those drugs,  

One day, everything I want to achieve  

Will be governed by the dopamine released

When my poems earn their weight in caffeine  



20 ounces of labor later and I am tired,

I douse myself so that I can ignite the hearts

of the people becoming automated machines,  

Self-driving, Self-Sufficient, and Self-Destructive

I do eat people
sometimes, they escape
they knock at the door
impatiently tapping my
the oak wood, their feet
humming a tune
that is completely,
utterly empty

I am locked up in the mad house
and for good reason too
When I let people in,
I close the door
When you step through
the doorway
I
Can't
Wait
any longer.

This precious little dream
Stays tucked away in silence
I'm listening to my heart beat

I think its a little slow and jittery
Then something slips out of my pocket
My eyes widen and I go blind

Warmth began to surround me
Heat holds my hand and dives below
It's drowning out my reality

I scream "I'm sorry" and let it go
The locket is on the ground and open
It was never about what you could see

I'm crushed under the universe
Caved in by the earth
My thoughts are opaque
The embers rise and awake

My soul is kindled by hate
Disguising waves as siege
and rapture as higher belief
I will take what they breathe

Lungs collapse under pressure
Thoughts escape me entirely  
I was lost in a deep sea
Then cinders became steam

Regret built up by ideas
Creating your demise
Where consciousness goes
when it wants to dive

Power at the end of my fingertips
Blood boiling and veins disconnect
String of minds began to intertwine
with everything exhausted but alive

I start to fracture and break
Every fragment began to burn
Their words wrapped my bones
Reality shuddered as rage was born

The ground quaked with fear
Magnitudes driven by resent
The shake of the world
Reminding us how scared it's been

Wrath spun out of me like a storm
Crashing down with thunderous force
My eyes torrential judgement
on all of those who could stand before

Meteors shower from the heavens
Leaving their will rack and ruined
Divine justice came to pass
Pervade with brutal execution

It smells like grass
Way above the atmosphere
We're playing on clouds
Its all so clear

Let me see you
Lift me off the ground
All my fears are disappearing
On the Lovers' merry-go-round

Spend the night sky with me
Take my hand, together let's be forever
I'll hold you close, we're a constellation
Every moment is a new sensation

Put your hand on my chest
Can you hear the butterflies
Let the moon shut our eyes
I've never felt so alive

Utter elation
Lead me to salvation
I'm dream walking
My hearts been taken

Look at the time
We've slept into the morning
Watch me decompress
I can breathe in with meaning

The sun is above us now
Our spotlight has come out
Tomorrow is a new day
You should bring over your lips,
We can forget what we were going to say

Goodbye now
I hope I see your smile soon
Before I get ahead of myself
It's not even noon

I'm a candle
Set me ablaze
It's quiet
I know you'll cave

A drop of water
Plummeting to its death
Shadows scream and chant
Draw your last breath

Step after step
It's not getting closer
One moment I'm here
Sometimes I'm not so sure

I've lost track of time
There was a scream
The voice of an angel
Tearing at the seams

A vision of light
Begs me to decay
It takes two to tango
Only one can be saved

Eyes of fury, the first woman
Wrapped in skin, draped with rage
She choked on words, fell to a crawl
Held me close, told me it's my fault

Towers built of sin fall to pieces
I'm chasing after my lungs
Build me up and watch me die
I'm the butcher of goodbyes

Aspect of chaos stuck in glass
Scented of generations past
I had legs, knew where to stand
Before me was the folly of man

Time after time
He follows his dream
As above, so below
It's not what it seems

Shards of memories
Stuck in the sky
Gazing into the seas
Bringing waves to their knees

The clouds are drifting
Bleeding into the wind
Look up aghast to see
Just a gentle breeze

My world fell to earth
I wanted to escape
Out of touch, in a race
We are lost in head space

Well above and just beyond
The dust of dreams settle
They know the night sky lies
I like to keep whats mine

They shine so dimly
I'll bring them close
Make them a home
I've never been so alone

It all razed at once
But I can be timid
I'm sorry to rain on your parade
You're either with us
Or in agonizing dismay

I'll start anew
To live with limits
Walking on ice
Eating a full moon slice

My head is throbbing
My heart is pumping
The world is unbecoming
I am the sun king

There's a door
That's me in the mirror
I could fall apart in the glass
Just like that, I could collapse

I'm on my own two feet
I have the strength to stand
Burning bridges page by page
Throwing a dart and hoping it lands

It's the rush that had me
Sweating, racing cars
Then the adrenaline kicked in
I was burning the path above the stars

Now I can't get up in the morning
Without having a short term goal
What should I do to the windows
Is there an ultimate code?

There was a ghastly angel
That once told me,
Through glittery eyes
And stolen souls,
That if man burns enough,
She'll let them go

Bows of light, the one above all
Break this fool, make him forget he saw
I had a weird dream just then
There was an end, my best friend

I'm awake now and it's morning
I gave a smile to the birds chirping
Hello my winged friends,
Did you make a deal with the dead?

We have a lemon tree outside
But I prefer something sweet
I am roasting alive, I don't know why  
Do you want something to eat?

Im going to bed now
Let the song be red
If up is all I can go
I'll surely end up misled

It's been a long night
But she's at my side
Arm in arm
Is this how worlds die?

My mind is racing
But I've never ran further
Maybe we'll see
If I'll have it in me

She said "I love you"
I hung on the last word
"Let's try something new"
Now I'm falling forward

I'm starving
And I know this is alarming
But this bite has something to prove
I blame it on my sweet tooth

I was in the moment
A second too long
Now might be never
Time stands strong

I bit off more
Than I could do
How do I be
Where is my cue

The world must rewind
To when I first had my plate
A moment to satiate
Served with red wine
And love on the line

I draw my breath
And pray to the lord
Am I hungry
Or just bored?

I don't kiss and tell
But I'll let you know
She was one of a kind
Thats something I can't forgo

When it's good it's great
It's like I'm breathing
Now it must silent
I am fire seething

Forgive me
We all have a song to sing
May I burn
If I have too much of a good thing

It's the spice of life
And the sweet bed
Of he who is called death
That made me wake up
To behold and believe
That one day I'll see
Hes worth it to me

Just breathe
I say, on my knees
She'll be still and lie
But she cannot see
Her eyes stay remain shut
At least that's what
They want me to believe

It is sadness and rage
That consume my days
Time will watch you die
And dark moves swiftly
If it meant the world,
Would you lie?

At the end of all told
She is gone, all I loath
What to do and where to be
The possibilities are not me
My fault, maybe true
But now darkness,
I know you

I was tricked into mayhem
Madness my dearest
It's time for you to rise
Because at this man's heart lies
A formidable truth
"Contain, misuse,
Drugs, abuse,"
Where is all the dancing
Where am I

Oh, I see
It was never meant to be
I don't know if I'm behind
But I know whats before me
Simply cathartic
And a dream to see

the sunbeams
are losing their weight
the sky wears so thin
what keeps me alive now
was never there to begin with

under distortion do I love myself
only by spells is my face held
what grows below the surface
might best be shown and molded

am I cold?
should I be shaking?
should I be at a loss for words?

my body contorts with thought
until itself it breaks apart
just as I'm wrought with despair
I'm writhing in agony

Sunlight to stardust
And everything in between
I'm so sorry of what you are now
Its something you shouldn't have to be

Incomplete, with no purpose
A shattered man brooding
But can you smell that?
Something is burning

People are just flesh and bone
Words are worse, for they echo
And in our head,
They just might spin

A fate worse than death
Is a man's spiral to make sense
Of the world that made him bitter
To endlessly think he might achieve success

I create, I coddle, the star.
You've become my heat.
If this drift into madness will set me free, I pray you'll spiral with me.
I spin a tale as old as time to tell of our love
I'm feeling every aching moment recalling where you were
Never at a loss
Our story is woven together in the spoken language
My beautiful, starlight angel, where do I begin?
No matter what voice it is said in, be it man, myth, or mine
Has there ever been a more fetching vision than thine?
Has there ever been a verse youd want to here more?
I truly cannot speak more, or I'd be at a loss, for when I come to sense
the waking world, the gravity of all my truths unearthed and the very ground quaking with word
There can only be but one repercussion, for it to be stated:
Love knows no bounds,
but for the lovers embrace,
an exception is made,
time will stand still.
in this moment, we are forever
enjoy it with me, why dont you?
we'll be here, eons after